Oh. My.

Well, my birthday celebrations actually started the Friday before the actual date but other than the residual bruising on my boobs, I was ready to continue.

Last Thursday was #EVTM so I went up to Liberty Market to hang with that gang and received even more birthday wishes. I have such good friends!

Friday I got up and finished packing, took myself for my free birthday breakfast at Liberty Market – yes, it’s THAT good, you go two days in a row when you get the chance – and then picked up Krystal to get the rental car. After a rough start because car rentals at the fucking airport aren’t set up for local people and we blew half an hour trying to find the right place, we scored a Charger and went back to her place and loaded up the car with their stuff. Picked up Max, had lunch and finally got on the road to VEGAS BABY! Made it to the Stratosphere just in time to get decked up, gather the troops, pre-drink and go out.

Because CJ met us there and both she and Krystal (and I) love karaoke I decided we’d go a half-block away to Dino’s Lounge. Yes, it was a dive bar but aren’t those the best places for Karaoke? We had a BLAAAAAST! Max and Casey and his friend Jeff got up and sang Happy Birthday (so did everyone else in the packed bar) and then CJ sang my favorite CJ-sings-Karaoke song, The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun, to which I got up in my drunken way and cheered her on. Then Krystal rocked Shoop. I flirted with the numerous guidos around me and got as drunk as I’ve ever been. I must’ve had 8-9 vodka cranberries throughout the night. Everyone had a great time!

Unfortunately Vegas was experiencing a surprise cold spell and we froze our asses off walking to and from the bar. Nobody brought warm clothes except maybe CJ. We’re idiots.

Speaking of guidos, Vegas is overrun with Jersey Shore wannabes but damn do they dress nice and smell good. Lots of flirting and leaning in close, but that’s all. Most of those young men were tolerant of this old bat so it’s all good.

Saturday started with buffet breakfast with CJ, Crystal O’hara and her daughter Colleen (see, I remember her name now) and Shannon – then Max and Krystal eventually showed up. Us girls then headed to the outlet mall where I tried on 6 bras and started crying cuz I can never find a bra that fits right. Poor CJ was so patient with me. Then back to the room for a nap after which we dressed up and met at Nine Fine Irishmen for the BEST DINNER EVER! I had the cider braised salmon (with a couple of ciders) and it was fantastic. Other than the food, I don’t think anyone was really enjoying the experience so we split up and went our separate ways.

Ended up back at my hotel and made CJ walk all the way to the HOT TUB!!1 only to find out they close the pool area at 6pm BOO! Who the fuck closes a hotel pool at 6pm? The Strat, apparently. So we went back to my room and dressed up again and went up to the Air Bar at the top of the tower, where the evening disintegrated even further. I’m drinking the whole time, but still. We were all getting tired and cranky by then so I gave up and went to bed.

Sunday morning we all gathered once more to watch Casey take the leap from the top of the tower. There’s video of that on my Facebook page if you want to watch.

So… there were down moments but it was mostly way up. I had the best time ever, wore make-up *gasp* and Krystal made my hair look great! I got to flirt a bit, got plenty drunk and spent a really great weekend with my sons and friends. We’re planning another family trip in November when Ginnie turns 21 and can go along.

Awesome start to my year 50!

Though yesterday’s activities started later than I’d expected, it was well worth it.

First we had to wait around for someone to come get Kira. There was some miscommunication there, but eventually they came and then Sheila and I went to Lunch at Liberty Market (YUM!!!) and then headed to Sheila’s house for day-drinking around the pool. A pleasant couple of Strongbows later we gussied up and went to the brand new Mellow Mushroom where I had a The Caesar pizza (AWESOME!!!!) and then we walked the block over to Robbie Fox’s for the #evfn / party.

Oh Mr Deity! Yeah, I was a bit cranky because the space they put aside for us only had a small bar and they had to go inside every time I ordered another Strongbow. But once I hit about halfway on that drink, I was fine. And the regular #evfn evening progressed as usual with a bit of birthday wishing included. It was a combined Jana (tomorrow) and Jack (next Thursday) and my (next Friday) birthday celebration and I didn’t have to drive anywhere so I indulged. Oh did I indulge. Kathy bought my second drink, Vinessa and Patrick bought my third (I think) and Jana wanted to kill me with my 4th.

At some point the #evfn ended but the partying continued, there were cans of whipped cream introduced and much squirting and licking on everyone on the couch. I thought I’d have a hickie on my boob from Jana, but the mark faded. Evo went right to the point of it if you know what I mean. Might have been 10 of us with whipped cream residue somewhere by the time the cans died out. All this on an outdoor patio! Then I started flirting with one of the band guys unloading nearby and it was time to leave. I HAD SO MUCH GODDAM FUN!

Today has been busy too. Nice breakfast, nice lunch, nice ImprovAZ event where we dressed up sort of like Waldo and converged on Tempe Markeplace to screw with the natives. My friend Jeff was the actual Waldo and pics will start showing up soon. I posted a couple on my Facebook. Then I had Casey take me to get a new car battery (because apparently mine mysteriously died while I was gone for the night) and when he replaced it suddenly the A/C that has been dead since last summer came to life again. Sure at first there was a lot of clunking and grinding in the dashboard area which eventually settle down to a rhythmic thunk but even that stopped after a few miles/minutes. But the new battery took most of my set-aside-for-shopping-for-Vegas funds so I only got one new outfit and came home.

Now I’m going to take a long hot bath and crawl in bed for a while.

I’m getting involved more. I’ve always been on the PodcampAZ planning team, but I recently joined the Ignite Phoenix crew and started volunteering at Gangplank. And yesterday I went out with ImprovAZ on their Fake Protest Flash Mob. It was awesome!

You know, last week we hit 100° but yesterday was so friggin’ cold we only hung out there for about a half hour. There were so many of us we split up and fake protested on two separate corners. Some people have no sense of humor, but we did get at least half the cars going by to honk – or at least smile and wave. I didn’t want to stop!

I’m currently editing one podcast and helping someone else put their audiobook together, so “work” is going well. And Sheila, Evo and I are working on a new project now that Evo@11 is over. I haven’t actually put an episode together yet, but we’re getting there. This project is a bit more involved than a regular podcast.

I’m officially going to Vegas for my birthday. I invited my daughter-in-law Krystal to go with me and apparently that meant Max and Casey could go as well. Fine, they can wander off and do guy stuff. Poor Ginnie isn’t old enough, so we had to promise another trip in November when she turns 21. I have a couple more girlfriends meeting me up there and have invited (SNOWCALLA!) even more so I might end up with a real party. I’ll be there April 29th through Sunday.

I’m also officially going to Balticon Memorial Day weekend. All my podcasting friends go and I’ve missed the fun too many times. Flight’s pre-paid, admission’s pre-paid, so now I just have to pay for a room (roommate Evo?) and food/drink.

Then there’s SkepchickCon, June 30-July 3. That’s not official. It really depends on my finances after those first two trips. Another fun drive up to Minneapolis but I’m pretty sure I’d have a place to stay (AGAIN, SNOWCALLA!) so it’s just gas, food, and convention costs. That’s a maybe.

And I’d like to go back to TAM. TAM 9 is in Vegas mid July, but I’d be just as happy hanging out outside of the actual meeting. It’s so expensive to attend and I don’t want to press my luck by asking for a freebie again this year.

I think that’s it for now. Crap, I forgot I had eggs boiling and all the water boiled away. I have NO attention span.

I finally stopped in to my insurance broker’s office this morning to clear up their mistake. (Casey got his own insurance last FEBRUARY and somehow I’m still covering his car.) I’m sitting there with Della (the ditz) and she’s going on and on about this weekend, the full moon, some sort of eclipse and the power of writing out your life goals THIS VERY MINUTE while everything is aligned. Very important to write these goals in red. Dunno why. And then gushing about her new pink crystal something bracelet and the power of earth’s rocks…

“So what are you doing this weekend?” she bothers to ask.

Oh, I’m attending a skeptics conference in Vegas. You know, some of the top scientists and skeptics in the world get together and try very hard not to laugh at the woo-woo people.

But did I say that aloud? Nope. Not when she’s in control of my automobile insurance needs.

“Goin’ to Vegas!”

It just occured to me that I forgot to finish that series of posts.

Saturday I tried to sleep in, I really did. I think I lasted until 9ish. Got up and packed up, got everyone else up and packed and went downstairs to replace the room key/players card I’d left in a machine the night before. I forgot to mention about the 45 minutes I sat in the elevator lobby waiting for Casey the night before because I’d lost my key.

I’d won a t-shirt with my player’s card, and wasted another $20 in the machines waiting for CJ to check out of her room and come over. We headed over to the all-you-can-eat-all-day buffet and had a nice brunch. And gambled some more. CJ had a lot better luck than I did, doubling her money, but I think we both eventually walked out losers. Went up to the pool deck to hang out for a while, then back to eat again.

I was so tired exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep or go home. Not a lot of sitting places in Vegas. Our ride to the airport showed up late, didn’t know how to get to the airport, stopped for gas on the way and got us lost AT the airport. Son’s dumbass friend. We should have took a cab, seriously.

Weird that I’d bought my plane tickets a week before CJ and we still ended up sitting next to each other. Casey chose to ride home with his friends so his seat was empty between us. And a really hot guy sat in front of me. He was a good sport with our teasing and flirting.

And then Ginnie was late picking us up from the airport.

“That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”

Not me! I’m fucking brilliant compared to my son and his idiot friends.

First there was the M-girl that was so trashed by the time they arrived in Vegas that she sliced the shit out of the back of her leg while shaving and then passed out cold in our hotel room.

Then there’s my son who disappeared for hours with the only vehicle, coming back late and with an empty tank so CJ and I despaired getting to the airport in time.

Then there was (again) my son who decided to stay with the bunch instead of flying safely home with me.

After that, there was the idiot B who drank beers while driving the van homeward, got busted in Kingman for a DUI and got the van impounded. Because my son was also too drunk to drive and apparently those two of the 6 were the only ones with driver’s licenses.

Those four other people who for some stupid reason don’t have driver’s licenses. How stupid is to NOT have a driver’s license?

The one who called me and got pissed off that I wouldn’t drive up there and save them. From their own stupidity.

(Let me clarify, had they had car trouble or an accident or something else out of their own control, I would have gone to get them.)

Oh, and the drunk ass driver and his wife who left their kids at home with her parents and let the power run out instead of putting extra cash on the m-power. Priorities, right?

They got B out of  jail late this afternoon and because the van is in his name they couldn’t get it out of impound before closing time. So they’re stuck there another night.

Life lesson #54. Don’t fucking drink and drive doubledumbass! What a bunch of fucking losers.

Repeat after me: “That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”

“That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”

Not me! I’m fucking brilliant compared to my son and his idiot friends.

First there was the M-girl that was so trashed by the time they arrived in Vegas that she sliced the shit out of the back of her leg while shaving and then passed out cold in our hotel room.

Then there’s my son who disappeared for hours with the only vehicle, coming back late and with an empty tank so CJ and I despaired getting to the airport in time.

Then there was (again) my son who decided to stay with the bunch instead of flying safely home with me.

After that, there was the idiot B who drank beers while driving the van homeward, got busted in Kingman for a DUI and got the van impounded. Because my son was also too drunk to drive and apparently those two of the 6 were the only ones with driver’s licenses.

Those four other people who for some stupid reason don’t have driver’s licenses. How stupid is to NOT have a driver’s license?

The one who called me and got pissed off that I wouldn’t drive up there and save them. From their own stupidity.

(Let me clarify, had they had car trouble or an accident or something else out of their own control, I would have gone to get them.)

Oh, and the drunk ass driver and his wife who left their kids at home with her parents and let the power run out instead of putting extra cash on the m-power. Priorities, right?

They got B out of jail late this afternoon and because the van is in his name they couldn’t get it out of impound before closing time. So they’re stuck there another night.

Life lesson #54. Don’t fucking drink and drive doubledumbass! What a bunch of fucking losers.

Repeat after me: “That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”

Friday: And of course I wake up early.  Gambled very little until CJ met up with me and we … drank, ate, gambled, drank, talked, etc. Eva (my neighbor) showed up and hung with us for a while. Eventually CJ went back to her own room to get ready and I tried to snooze before I got ready myself.

All snazzed up in my new dress and CJ’s help with hair and make-up we set out again, more drinking and penny slots.  Finally time for Bite.

Bite SPOILERS. 6 fairly competent vampire dancers and a weird looking vampire man that really doesn’t do much. Great rock music. Partway in they supposedly pick people from the audience, but one guy overacts so drastically you know immediately he’s a plant. Turns out he and his wife/girlfriend/female partner were twirly hang from a chain acrobats. Pretty good ones and hanging right in front of us. Another plant was one of those silk rope curtain acrobats that was cool too. The final audience plant was a big nerdy looking guy who turns out to be a great singer along the lines of Meatloaf.  I think he was the most believable “actor” of all.  Most of the dancers were painfully thin, and the star (the Queen of the Night) had a ribcage more prominent than her tits. How is that attractive? All in all, a good show. Worth the discounted rate but I’m glad I didn’t have to pay full price for it.

After that we took the Deuce down to Nine Fine Irishmen and had some fun and Magners, Casey and a couple of his friends showed up, we had Del Taco and headed back.

Friday: And of course I wake up early. Gambled very little until CJ met up with me and we … drank, ate, gambled, drank, talked, etc. Eva (my neighbor) showed up and hung with us for a while. Eventually CJ went back to her own room to get ready and I tried to snooze before I got ready myself.

All snazzed up in my new dress and CJ’s help with hair and make-up we set out again, more drinking and penny slots. Finally time for Bite.

Bite SPOILERS. 6 fairly competent vampire dancers and a weird looking vampire man that really doesn’t do much. Great rock music. Partway in they supposedly pick people from the audience, but one guy overacts so drastically you know immediately he’s a plant. Turns out he and his wife/girlfriend/female partner were twirly hang from a chain acrobats. Pretty good ones and hanging right in front of us. Another plant was one of those silk rope curtain acrobats that was cool too. The final audience plant was a big nerdy looking guy who turns out to be a great singer along the lines of Meatloaf. I think he was the most believable “actor” of all. Most of the dancers were painfully thin, and the star (the Queen of the Night) had a ribcage more prominent than her tits. How is that attractive? All in all, a good show. Worth the discounted rate but I’m glad I didn’t have to pay full price for it.

After that we took the Deuce down to Nine Fine Irishmen and had some fun and Magners, Casey and a couple of his friends showed up, we had Del Taco and headed back.

It sure as shit doesn’t mean Allover Telephone… or anything close.

Alltel does NOT have coverage in Las Vegas. Las Fucking Vegas! One of the biggest tourist cities in the US, and I roamed the whole time.

Alltel does NOT have coverage on the entire island of Oahu. Goddamn Honolulu! Again, one of the top tourist places in the US.

Check out their “coverage map” if you can see it. Isn’t that special. Can’t enlarge it, can’t get anything specific, and their color options make it impossible to see the actual differences.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t have service in Atlanta either. Can’t remember.

I did find a way to run Internet on my laptop through my mobile (something called PdaNet) and it worked okay, but at roaming prices it would have probably been cheaper to get the WiFi from the hotel. Guess I’ll find out when the bill is due.