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Vacation Summary
Sep 9th
This is gonna be really long. That’s why all my photos are on flickr and if you want to see them go there.
My car had issues with one of the coils or spark plugs or whatever but I got that fixed and took off. 10 minutes in the car and I decided to go completely off my rocker and head towards areas talked about in those Little House books. I wandered back roads to Sleepy Eye and then Walnut Grove to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum. That’s where I got this giant chip busted out of my windshield. I don’t even know where the rock came from. Oh well.
From Walnut Grove I went to De Smet where she actually grew up. I stopped by the homestead, but they wanted a chunk of money and a wagon ride to show me everything so I passed. Ended up near Murdo, SD for dinner and then spent the night in the car.
Guy walks in the restaurant and says anyone wanna see a horse? Everyone goes outside. I’m in freaking South Dakota! Horses are unusual?
The next day I stopped at the infamous Wall Drug for (an expensive and not very good) breakfast then toured the place. Bought a nice leather purse I liked for $14. Wall Drug is enormous and completely touristy. Way too much crap.
Wandered through Sturgis and Sundance before heading to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. Breathtaking and way cool. I managed to walk the path around the entire tower (1.3 miles) though I was done about two seconds before I came across the Halfway Point sign. Shit. But I did it and am kind of proud of myself. I decided right then and there to pony up the cash and camp at the KOA at the foot of the damned thing. Had my tent up and shower done by 7 because the campground movie was… can you guess? Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Which was canceled because of this ginormous storm. I should have stashed the tent and stayed in my car! That storm was scary as hell! Lightning and thunder and wind and rain and I’m zipped in the tent and can’t see anything and the wind is gusting and my fat ass is the only thing holding that stupid tent down. It kept folding over on me (no, the stakes disappeared years ago) and I kept picturing myself wrapped up tubal in a polyester tent and sleeping bag. Eventually it passed and I crashed until about 1am when the cold drove me into the car after all. My light AZ sleeping bag isn’t very useful when the temp drops too far.
Next day I headed towards Deadwood, SD for breakfast. I love Deadwood. I could live there if it didn’t get cold in the winter. Then to the Crazy Horse Memorial Monument. Huge museum and a bumpy bus ride to get closer. From there I stopped by Hot Springs but I didn’t do anything.
Blew through Colorado on the major highway. You don’t really see much doing 85 mph. Stopped for the night in Santa Fe at this cute little Silver Saddle Motel, but I really didn’t get to enjoy much because the elevation made it hard for me to breath. Saturday morning I decided to take another back road home. South of Albuquerque I found the US60 and headed west.
And stopped almost immediately because some little town was having it’s Labor Day parade on the ONLY STREET. I’m stuck behind the last police car disappointing small children because I’m obviously NOT part of the parade. So I blared some George Hrab as loud as I could stand it the whole length of the parade.
You know there’s a tiny town called Pie Town? Right there on the continental divide. I stopped for pie in honor of my friend Mur Lafferty. I’m not really a fan of pie, but I knew if I ever saw Mur again and passed up the opportunity she’d smack me.
And then I was home! Nice vacation but more expensive than I though it would be. I can’t tell you if the car ate more gas because the windows were open the whole time or if it would have been cheaper if the A/C worked. Who knows.
What I do know is, the next time some Fucktard tries to tell me I can’t do something they can just fuck off. I was fine. Better than fine. I did GREAT!
Thinking about my next road trip. Where should I go?
Vacation: Nawlins and Finally Florida
Dec 14th
So Friday morning we decided that as a treat for getting out of Texas we’d stop in New Orleans for lunch. Again with a couple of taps on my new phone we were directed right to where we wanted to go. Someone had suggested a nice restaurant around the corner from Bourbon Street, but we opted for the much cheaper pizza place next door.
Casey managed to find a drink and Ginnie and I enjoyed some of the old architecture before Kira got bored and started getting into trouble. Time to go.
- Stopping in Pensacola for the night. Can’t stands me car no more.
- Spent the night in Pensacola. Now if I can get these lazy slugs moving. I’m thinking about a more scenic route today.
- Kira practicing her evil laugh in Destin FL.
She’d been so good the whole time in the car. On the radio which was actually turned down pretty low because we were talking, someone did a muahahaha. Then Kira entertained herself for a good half hour muahahahaing to herself til she got it just right. We couldn’t stop laughing.
- There should be a law that it can’t be freezing cold at the Beach.
- For some odd reason this package of unscented baby wipes smells like old dead Budweiser.
- SmallChild has decided the lyrics should be “We will we will rock n pooh rock n pooh!”
So I’d been stupid. Really stupid. We discussed taking the scenic route down the Gulf side instead of staying on the Interstate. There are some beautiful little towns on that route around Panama City and Destin. It took us WAY longer than I had anticipated and then once we gave up it took even longer to find our way back to the highway. And the weather was horrible – pouring rain and fog. We got into Bradenton around midnight and Brittany begged us to let Ginnie stay with her so we had to find her place, drop Ginnie off and got to Dad’s quite late for him.
Got up and met Dad’s girlfriend Bonnie. I really like her. Then we all went to Sunday breakfast at Dad’s Eagles Club and then on to my sister’s to see the reason for the trip in the first place, Damien Gabriel.
Vacation: Texas Sucks
Dec 13th
This is gonna run long. I didn’t have internet for more than a few minutes the entire trip and there’s only so much I could do on my DROID.
- Aaaand we’re off! 8:58 AM Dec 2nd
- GirlChild driving now. 300 miles to El Paso.
- Stopping for dinner in Van Horn TX.
Lousy place, Papa’s Pantry. We walked in and though the place was fairly full, nobody on staff even came over towards the door. Do you seat yourself or wait there like idiots? Finally we were waved into a dark corner where the overhead lights didn’t work. Yeah, yeah we should have left, but it’s fucking west Texas and stops are few and far between. Slow unfriendly service, lousy food, unclean bathroom.
- Texas sucks part 3: GirlChild gets us pulled over for speeding. Cop searches all of us and unpacks the car.
This was ridiculous. It was like he was bored or something. There was hardly anyone on the road and he came zipping up behind her when she was passing a truck so she changed lanes without signaling just to get out of his way. So he popped her for that, for going 79 in a 65 and because I didn’t have a light on my license plate – I totally didn’t realize that one. He put Ginnie in his car, Casey off between the cars and had me in front of mine while poor Kira is shrieking in the car in confusion. We were all polite (my kids were raised watching Cops) and he still searched the car and then started pulling everything out of the trunk. And it was frikking COLD out there, snow on the ground and dark as hell. Asshole.
- #texassucks pt 4: After successfully dodging a dozen deer Son runs over some pteradactyl’s dinner.
Too funny, I was dozing and could hear Ginnie and Casey mentioning deer every few minutes when Casey suddenly swerved and hollered “What the FUCK was that?” and Ginnie was howling. He thinks it was a giant owl and I (who didn’t see a thing) expect it was more likely a vulture but either way it was trying to drag something huge across the road and Casey hit whatever the roadkill was. We laughed for hours over that one.
- #texassucks Unfortunate HOV turn dumped us into downtown Houston. Light rail stations look similar to ours.
We couldn’t figure out the HOV thing at all. There needs to be a Just Passing Through lane on interstates. Their HOV on the I-10 had three different acronyms with various tolls and we couldn’t decide if it was OK to use then figured what the heck why not, except at some point it emptied into downtown Houston street level. Thanks to my handy dandy DROID we turned the GPS/Google Navigator and got right back out again.
Hey big city sign people, make sure outsiders can figure out what your signs mean. Here in Phoenix that whole I-10 / I-17 / 51 / airport thing is completely confusing and I LIVE HERE. Especially since you can’t rely on direction as the left of the V actually goes north before it goes west while the right of the V goes west before it takes you north and crosses over the road you should have taken to continue west way back there! Anyway…
- Fuck Texas! We’re outta here!
Here’s where we started Day two.
earthquake?
Aug 6th
This hotel room isn’t quite as nice as the one Snowcalla provided in Minneapolis though it’s the same chain. No fireplace. No bathtub, but a shower you could easily have an orgy in. Couple of flat screens. Much nicer complimentary breakfast. Omelet to order? I think I will!
My kids are gone to SixFlags and I’ve been enjoying my time alone. Watched Eagle Eye, took a long nap and headed down to the pool for a bit, but too many little kids around to enjoy. I keep peeking out the window but they never go away.
Except for the ones running rampant up and down the halls upstairs. This is a fairly nice hotel (Embassy Suites) and yet I can hear the pitter patter elephants in jack boots quite clearly. Not to mention earlier when they apparently threw the couch across the room a few times. I was sitting here minding my own business and it felt like there was an earthquake.
I just finished an entire Snickers bar. By myself.
Hectic
Aug 5th
Okay, quick update for those of you who don’t wait with bated breath for my twitter/facebook updates.
1. Leaving this morning for California for a couple of days. Max is taking Ginnie to Six Flags and I’m going to be a vegetable by the pool – alone.
2. Saturday I sign my lease, Ginnie and Roger move in and I move in on Sunday.
3. They found a spot on my mammogram, so Tuesday I go in for an ultrasound. This has happened before so I’m not worked up about it. She’s all bugging me to come in right away, but I gots plans. A few days won’t matter.
4. I haven’t killed anyone here yet, but I’m pretty damned close. Casey found a sublet so that’s off my mind.
Split in half
Jul 11th
That’s how I felt those last couple of days in Minnesota. I woke up Thursday morning thinking about my frakking kids and what they were doing to my apartment and to drive each other nuts. I wanted my own bed. I wanted to go out and eat crappy fast food without being rude. Cara’s a foodie and either makes great food or finds the best place to get it out. But I was jonesing for a Burger King Whopper (which I promptly got at the airport) or a big bag of cheetohs.
And then I sat in her yard and enjoyed the peace and beauty and I didn’t WANT to come back.
So Thursday we lunched with Cara’s Mom and then went over to the SPAM Museum. Cara had fun giving me shit (see her journal) all through the place.
My favorite part of the museum was the piggy doors. They were soooo cute.
Then we wandered over to her sister’s to see her backyard garden and then to her mom’s.
I had been told throughout the visit that Tracy would never let me take a picture of him. So much that I snuck one of them out in the yard. But when I asked him point blank to pose with Cara he was more than happy to. I don’t know why everyone thinks he’s such a tough guy. I managed a hug and a photo all in my first visit. The guy is mush.
Friday we went to the zoo before Cara dropped me at the airport. The Mineapolis zoo is very nice but I couldn’t manage walking the whole place so we ended up on their crappy monorail.
I will go back.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
My welcome home, not.
Jul 11th
Excellent vacation, maybe a day or two too long for me but still I had so much fun and relaxation. I’ll eventually post pics from the SPAM museum and zoo (crap did I take pictures at the zoo?) and more about those last couple days.
But now that I’m home I have to deal with these people. Kira latched onto me the moment I got in the door and insisted on sleeping with me last night. So I still haven’t gotten to enjoy mine own bed. Little furnace with huge feet. And the apartment is a mess, dirty dishes in the sink, laundry all over, etc. You know, when I lived with MY mother and I expected her home I made an extra effort to clean, you know? Just saying. I don’t know what the fuck that is in the fridge next to the tuna salad I MADE THE WEEKEND BEFORE I LEFT! Someone else is cleaning that shit up. And there’s the “Kira’s so happy you’re home Mom, she should stay with you so I can go to the movies,” and not come home at all bullshit.
Big Mama is about to blow her shit.
And Ginnie was late picking me up at the airport just like last time AND bitched about Casey all the way home. JOY!
Burnt Booblies
Jul 8th
Yesterday we went over to Lanesboro and wandered around, had breakfast (meh) and then went tubing. It was really nice going tubing during the week when we were just about the only people out there. We’d run into one couple canoeing and once a family kayaking, but the rest of the time we were on our own. It was sooooo nice.
And snowcalla posted that I flashed an Amish guy. No way! Firstly, I didn’t see any Amish people all day and Secondly, that guy was wearing plaid shorts and barely glanced up (double-take actually) as we floated by topless. Okay, *I* was topless. But boy are my boobs roasted. After we changed clothes in the car we stopped at another place for lunch (elk burger – another meh) and headed back before the rain. Cara’s hubby brought home pizza for dinner and I didn’t care for that either. I suppose after how many days of interesting and excellent food I was due for an off-day.
We watched V for Vendetta last night. I never saw that movie before. Natalie Portman might actually become a real actress someday. This was the best I’ve seen her do.
Tomorrow is the SPAM museum. I can hardly wait.
Min-eh-sooooo-tah
Jul 6th
Cara's koi pond
Flew into Minneapolis Wednesday on US Air. First I didn’t have a seat because stupid me forgot to check in early online. Then I was stuck in a window seat next to poor Mr. Morthan Chubby who had gas. But other than that the flight wasn’t bad. Got to MN and there was my good friend (snowcalla ) Cara! Long drive back to her house in Austin where I met and hugged her hubby. Actual roast dinner. Beautiful backyard. Through that night and the next morning I saw little things I’d forgotten northern nature had over the desert.
One bunny, fireflies, huge squirrels and green green green. MN reminds me of Michigan. Not the shit hole industrial areas I grew up in, but the farms and hills and trees further out of crappy places like Flint and Detroit.
Thursday we meandered back up to the Minneapolis area around Bloomington and Edina – and stayed in a suite at a Marriott Residence Hotel (where I had my own room cuz sometimes I snore) where we met up with (wickedgroovy) Heather. Fireplace and full kitchen meant we didn’t have to go out as much but we still did. 
We went shopping at Surdyk’s for designer cheeses and other stuff I’d never heard of. Sheila/Evo would love that store. Registered at CONvergence and wandered the art room and then back to the hotel to get ready to go out.
We’d decided to celebrate our 2009 birthdays together regardless of the fact that they aren’t even close. Started at Bradstreet, a tapas place. I think Tapas is greek for single servings of expensive and great tasting food you’re supposed to share. I tried new things like fois gras (yuk) and lamb ribs (fuck yeah) 
and enjoyed the crab cakes I ordered as a safety dinner in case I didn’t like anything else, such as the asparagus, the calamari and the lamb burgers the others ordered. I’m sure the lamb burgers would have been tasty if someone hadn’t decided to dump an entire pepper shaker on each one.
Cara, as always the leader in our expeditions, ordered the drinks. Starting with a Cooper’s Union – beautiful tall glass, Prairie, Lemon, St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur, Grapefruit, Gruet Sparkling, Orange Flower Water – and I made it about a third of the way through that. I think it was the elderflower that turned me off. So Cara told them to bring me something interesting with orange and vodka, which they did and I couldn’t really enjoy that either. Just plain, thanks. That’s me, just plain. Then there was something red and slimy I couldn’t even attempt, so Heather and Cara drank that and I finally got my plain screwdriver. But by then I was pretty toasted.
From there we went to a club at The Chambers Hotel called (I kid you not) The Red White and Fucking Blue Rooftop Lounge, which appeared to be the gay men mecca of the greater north plains states. Seriously. I’m pretty sure there were single hetero men there (because there were couples and groups) but finding one would be like finding a needle in a haystack. Great hopping club, with quick and plenty drinks and an outside area. Lots of conversation areas, a thing I never understood in a club where the music is kept loud. Who can conversate over that? But check out the weird toilet seats. 
I’ve never seen toilet seats that thin in a ladies room, although when that guy walked in like it was so natural for him I wondered if there even was a distinction between the ladies and men’s.
After Cara finally shed the guy who had latched onto her, we wandered across the street to another club that was virtually empty and had a chocolate dessert. Then upstairs to the rooftop bar. Waited I swear 8-10 minutes for someone to show up behind the bar so we could order drinks. Then some lizard started talking to me, then Heather and finally settled on Cara. Man she can attract them. We dumped him and headed back to our hotel hoping for some hot tub time. No such luck.
Fridayy noonish we headed to CONvergence. Not a big Con and after years of Dragon*Con, we were spoiled. Ran into (Hellziggy) Sharon before I could finish texting her I was there. She showed us around including the free food and drink areas. They hand out free water and soda and tea, and rice. Yup, cups of rice free and a bunch of stuff you can add for flavoring. What a brilliant idea rather than preparation intensive sandwiches and stuff. They had other food as well. And all around the indoor pool area there were party suites assigned to the different groups and tracks to decorate and provide booze at night.
Between the few panels and traipsing the party suites, we hit the dealer’s room where I found two small wooden containers for Casey to put Ed’s ashes in and ran into (EmmasDad) Mike. Back at the hotel we had the casserole Cara brought, drank some Strongbows, snacked on cheeses and fruits, and just hung out. Friday night as we were parking back at the Con there was a huge fireworks display nearby so we got our Fireworks Fix out of the way early. Good thing, Saturday night at the Con was a fiasco and all the fireworks were too far away to actually see.
Kiltlifting
Late Saturday morning we headed over to the Mall of America, had our pictures taken with Dora and Diego, wandered around some more and then headed back to the Con for one panel. Back to the hotel for swimming and hot tubbing and had to sneak the Strongbows in coffee cups. Back to the Con for an attempt to see fireworks, ended up wandering the parties instead.
Somewhere in there we had Heather’s enchiladas, went to Vilification Tennis (throwing insults back and forth which was hilarious – but half the people were improperly miked and you couldn’t hear them), met the Skepchicks ladies, saw Pamela Gay again (she has no clue who I am) and did more shopping and fancy food snacking.
Sunday we packed and headed up to downtown Minneapolis to Loring Pasta Bar for a scrumptious brunch. I can’t remember if I tried anything new there, but I’ll bet I did. I tried so many new things this weekend. Then back down here to Austin to recover. Cara has a wonderful home and yard for quiet recovery.
___________
Sorry this is so long, but it’s taken me all day so I don’t want to break it up. Tethered to my phone is slow but I can’t seem to access their wifi. I’m here until Friday with plans ahead for tubing and visiting historical points of interest. I am having the best time!
Vegas, the final day
Jun 5th
It just occured to me that I forgot to finish that series of posts.
Saturday I tried to sleep in, I really did. I think I lasted until 9ish. Got up and packed up, got everyone else up and packed and went downstairs to replace the room key/players card I’d left in a machine the night before. I forgot to mention about the 45 minutes I sat in the elevator lobby waiting for Casey the night before because I’d lost my key.
I’d won a t-shirt with my player’s card, and wasted another $20 in the machines waiting for CJ to check out of her room and come over. We headed over to the all-you-can-eat-all-day buffet and had a nice brunch. And gambled some more. CJ had a lot better luck than I did, doubling her money, but I think we both eventually walked out losers. Went up to the pool deck to hang out for a while, then back to eat again.
I was so tired exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep or go home. Not a lot of sitting places in Vegas. Our ride to the airport showed up late, didn’t know how to get to the airport, stopped for gas on the way and got us lost AT the airport. Son’s dumbass friend. We should have took a cab, seriously.
Weird that I’d bought my plane tickets a week before CJ and we still ended up sitting next to each other. Casey chose to ride home with his friends so his seat was empty between us. And a really hot guy sat in front of me. He was a good sport with our teasing and flirting.
And then Ginnie was late picking us up from the airport.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
