I wasn’t raised as a Thank You Note person. The first I remember ever discussing TY notes was in response to graduation gifts. We just didn’t do thank you notes. Sure we said thank you all the time, but to write a note or letter? No. I always felt sending out generic bunches of thank you notes smacked of insincerity.  I’d rather the giftee seek me out and tell me to my face if they appreciated my gift – or not say anything at all. Possibly call and let someone know I received their gift if it’s delivery might be in question. That’s it.

Over the years I’ve had voracious thank you note writers come and go. As a teacher’s aide I had one parent that gave every teacher/aide/PTO board member a hand-made TY note at Christmas and at the end of the year. Some people have too much time on their hands. It made me feel as though maybe I should send her a TY note for her TY note.

It’s a struggle. I’m happy when someone appreciates what I’ve done but when it’s my job or something I’ve volunteered to do I’m uncomfortable with too much back-patting. I’d rather a sincerely expressed thank you than anything.

Which aligns with how I feel about tipping. For the most part I feel if you’re doing your job it’s your employer’s responsibility to pay you accordingly. Traditionally wait staff been underpaid and we’re expected to make that up in tips. I get that. But a good server deserves a bigger tip than a bad server. This automatic percentage tacked on is bullcrap. If servers expect a certain percentage added on to their pay, then their employer should pay it.

Tipping should show a patron’s appreciation for great service, not be expected.

“You did an excellent job on my haircut, here’s a little extra!” Right?

And what’s with this tipping everyone else? I hear people talk of tipping the mailman. I don’t even know WHO my mailman is! Even in smaller apartment complexes the mailman often changes. Or their garbage men? WTF!  Since when did someone doing their job well mean their customers should come up with something extra? Isn’t it the employer’s responsibility?

I tip good food servers. I tip whoever cuts my hair if I like it. That’s it. I refuse to be guilted into assuming the responsibility of whoever they work for.

And an honest thank you to everyone who appreciates anything I do. You can believe I appreciate all you’ve done for me… even if I don’t write a fancy note.