so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged stupid
About last night…
May 10th
Well, it started off nice. I managed to get to Chuck’s birthday thing at this strangely familiar bar; turns out that’s where I went sometime last year with E & She to hear some band. In Ahwatukee. Waaaaay over there.
Anyway, E gave me half of his burger (good) and the rest of his fries (lousy) and had a couple of Blue Moons and hugged and flirted pointlessly with a lot of my friends.
I’d had my usual argument with myself before going.
OldMe: You know they only invited you because they’re nice and it was a general call, they really don’t want an old bat like you there.
NewMe: Chuck and Amy came to MY birthday party! They like me.
OM: It’s going to be a bunch of young people.
NM: E & She are going and they’re not that much younger than me!
OM: Yeah, but Sheila’s beautiful and Evo is cool.
NM: Fuck you, I’m going.
So later, after dancing and laughing and dancing a bit more and getting a flirt on with someone I kinda knew but not really…
We were standing outside having a smoke and I started feeling odd. I excused myself and beelined it through the bar to the bathroom wondering the whole way what on earth could be making me feel sick. I’d only had two beers! I know I’m a lightweight but shit, I didn’t even have a buzz on! I’m standing against the wall waiting for an empty stall (and hoping whatever’s coming on will hang on a second) when the next thing I know some annoying voice is asking, “Are you okay?” “Are you okay?” “Are you okay?”
Who the fuck is she talking to? I open my eyes to see who she’s yelling at and realize I’m sprawled on the floor and she’s talking to me! Shit! I get up and someone brings me water and I get a cold wet towel and I’m fine. And I’m still not buzzed so the only thing I can think of is I got overheated.
EMBARRASSING!
Screwed up the rest of my whole night. Could have been a done deal but I couldn’t get my flirt up after that, though the gentleman kept trying. Hope he tries again sometime. SOON.
Are you stupid?
Apr 28th
I don’t consider myself or most of the people I associated with all that stupid. Okay, there are a few. But for the most part the people I know have at least half a brain.
So why does advertising seem to believe that we’re ALL too stupid to be able to mop correctly, dress properly, take out our trash or get through the day without their product?
Already this morning (on the radio while taking Ginnie to school) there was an advertisement from AAA talking about some guy on the road blows a tire and calls his insurance company to send someone out to fix it. Who calls their insurance company to change a flat? Two hours later the tow-truck guy informs him that his flat isn’t covered because he borrowed his girlfriend’s car. If he’d had AAA they’d have covered it AND been out there within minutes! Eventually he’s on his way to the wedding where (ding dang dong) he’s there before the bride enters.
First of all, what kind of a man (or woman) can’t change their own goddamn flat tire? Especially if you’ve been waiting TWO HOURS for help to arrive. But the guy’s already a jackass if he borrowed his girlfriend’s car and didn’t take her to the wedding with him.
That commercial was followed by another one about stupid people but I missed most of it while ranting about the first one.
I’m sick of the dirty mop – slopped bucket – frazzled woman commercials. I hate those trash bag splitting ads. I’m planning to compile a list of companies and products that run ads that make people look stupid so their product can save the world. That way I can have my own personal boycott party.
1. AAA
And while we’re at it, can we stop with the Burger King creepy guy? The latest Spongebob tie-in “I Like Square Butts” hip-hop thing is just too creepy for words.
The HuLu Conspiracy
Apr 14th
My friend Elizasea posted this on twitter today and I wanted to share.
The hulu commercial where Alec Baldwin says they are aliens and want to eat our brains? PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IS TRUE WTF http://is.gd/ssvv
So of course I go to see what she’s talking about.
HuLu, A Quantum Leap in Electronic Mind Control & Manipulation
ahem
All right, points 1-3 seems to be factual. I’m sure if I cared I could research them I’d find them to be relatively true. #4 is a bit tilted, though. I’m starting to giggle.
5. These “electromagnetic fields” are capable of MIND CONTROL PROGRAMMING of specific individuals. It is even possible to cause PHYSICAL ILLNESSES by this method — including flu symptoms, heart attacks, or strokes.
6. A specific digital frequency can be customed designed to be sent to the end user of HuLu to produce a specified physical event. All that is needed for the computer to design this frequency is a sample of the victim’s DNA.
Muahahahahhahahahhaha.
Conspiracy theorists.
I cannot imagine living my whole life in such fear of EVERYTHING. Although the header on that site says:
Educate-Yourself
The Freedom of Knowledge, The Power of Thought ©
If you look at the titles of the articles underneath the header, you’ll see they’re a bunch of … nutsos morons whack-jobs unfortunate crazy people.
But funny! They’re goddamn funny! And I’m not even talking about their atrocious spelling and grammar.
Quiet Sunday Morning
Apr 12th
Home alone. Sweet!
Slept in, got my podcast editing done (finally) and now I’m catching up on my DVR stuff.
Ginnie went camping Thursday night with her gang and should be back late this afternoon. Maybe before, because it’s been snowing up where they are. I’m not looking forward to the whining and bitching when she gets back but I’ll admit to a bit of amusement at their discomfort now.
Casey took the kid to his friend’s so they could all do the Easter Bunny/eggs/candy thing together. Doesn’t bother me a bit to miss any of it.
I’m watching Krod Mandoon and it’s pretty bad. Awful. Stupid. Okay the guy playing Krod is cute, and looks damned fine without a shirt but maybe this would be better on mute. I won’t be recording any more episodes.
And as soon as I get this latest Evo@11 episode uploaded, I’m going back to bed BECAUSE I CAN!
Like that's gonna work
Apr 7th
I have this on my front door.
Pretty self-explanatory, right? Please don’t knock on my door or ring my bell with your religious paraphernalia. Seriously, does anybody NOT understand what this means?
Besides the woman who just came to my door, I mean.
Cuz, you know, acknowledging the plaque and yet continuing with your speech might just win me over. And saying that you “completely understand about those door-to-door preachy types” while holding out a pamphlet with a CROSS on the cover on the off-chance it doesn’t include you? Simpering that YOU are only handing out invites to a local church while my half-polite smile fades and doesn’t excuse you.
Yes ma’am, this sign applies to you too. Door slam.
If you don’t want me to be rude to you, don’t cross my line.
Oh wait, is that a twinkling of methodist fervor I feel washing over me? Nope, just gas.
tidbits or bids and tits?
Feb 23rd
While wandering through Myspace I found out my sister’s step-son’s wife had her baby and they named it Kaydence Renee’ – complete with apostrophe. Yes, my eyes rolled. Why do people feel the need to fuck their kids up forever? She’s gonna need to carry name cards for the rest of her life. Or maybe a tattoo would be easier.
Sister’s daughter Brittany (the only one of that family I actually have contact with) is due in a couple of weeks. Though I’m getting reports that she may deliver earlier as everything seems to be in perfect arrangement for it. She’s planning on naming her son Damien Gabriel. Interesting and yet spelled within normal limits. We laugh that he could turn out either way, evil or good. I don’t know if she’s planning on using her real last name (Stephens) or the one she goes by (Kinney) or the father’s last name (I’m clueless).
Mom was upset she was specifically uninvited to Brittany’s baby shower. Poor Brittany had to chose between her selfish bitch mother or her whiny obtuse Grandmother. What nice people I come from. And her perpetually broke Aunt Debbie wasn’t even mentioned.
Whatever.
_________________________
This Wednesday is Ignite Phoenix. It’s organized by friends of mine and the whole program consists of 5 minute/20 slide presentations of whatever you’re passionate about. As long as you’re not selling something. I think Jeff said there were 18 presentations this time. The last two IPs were at GoDaddy’s local offices but we’ve outgrown that venue and this time it’s at Tempe’s new Center for the Arts. Lots of people have been wanting an excuse to check out that venue so it should be pretty packed.
Friday night #evfn (East Valley Friday Nights) is meeting at Studios 5C Gallery in Tempe. I love #evfn. It’s our local twitter meetup every Friday night at a different location throughout the east valley and it’s expanded beyond twitter people. We’re averaging 45 people so it’s getting harder and harder to find places that can accommodate that many people. Apparently this one is sponsored (free food and drink). A couple of weeks ago we held it at a brand new W hotel called “aloft” and they provided a tour and a drink/bar snacks at their lobby lounge “w xyz”.
(I don’t know about this trendy naming shit with all lower case letters. I feel like I need to show they’re proper names somehow.)
And Saturday night is booked, too. I’m not sure if I can talk about that til it’s over but I have lots to do to get ready for it. I have PLANS. Think Mardi Gras and boobs.
I’ve got Kira today and she’s whining for second breakfast. I’m yelling YOU JUST ATE over her screeching and she ain’t buying it. Pause goes Gullah Gullah – which usually shuts her up. Consequences for whining. Let Grammi finish her stupid post and she’ll get you a snack. Patience grasshopper.
But they're FAMOUS!
Jan 26th
I’ve never claimed to be the perfect parent. In fact, when my kids were very little I made all kinds of obvious mistakes. But I’ve noticed in the last couple of weeks a new one.
First there were all those parents who dragged their very small children down to the mall for the inauguration festivities. Seriously, it was freezing, there were no facilities or room for children to play, no strollers allowed, and massive amounts of people for HOURS. So there’s a new President. Great! But honestly, what exactly is a kid supposed to get out of that entire experience. They can say there were there when? That’s like me saying I saw the first moon landing from Cape Canaveral instead of safe at home. Unless you’re on the frakking space ship it’s all the same. Unless Obama could stop and take a picture with them, there’s no reason to drag your children down there.
And yesterday as I wandered through the autograph area at Phoenix Comicon I noticed Marina Sirtis holding an infant to her shoulder. That baby couldn’t have been more than few days old. My first thought was that “she’s got a baby?” and I wandered on. A few minutes later I watched as the Father handed that same baby over to Wil Wheaton and I realized some fan was getting photo opportunities for a child who might never know it.
Now I know Mirina and Wil are decent (and likely clean) human beings who would not hurt the baby, and in fact were very touched by and loving to the tiny infant. But the fact is, both of them had been shaking hands, signing whatever was handed to them, standing close to strangers for photo ops and generally NOT being in the most germ-free situation for HOURS and someone hands them a newborn. What were the parents thinking? Who else did they hand that kid off to for a stupid picture?
Taking your child into adult situations can be dangerous. As well as inauguration day went, the whole area had disaster potential. Imagine the panic of 2 million people had there been any terrorist activity – or even just some bigot making a statement – and how would you protect your child in that panic? And there’s a reason we all talk about Con funk. All those unwashed bodies spreading what have you and you’re taking an INFANT into that and handing it off to strangers? Just because these people are on TV that doesn’t mean they didn’t shake hands with disease ten minutes before you stepped up.
Parents, please give your baby a couple of months to build up some sort of immune system before you take them out in crowded places. Especially if you’re going to pass it around to strangers. I think they’d rather be alive in the future than just a memory in a photo.
