so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged max
Getting even worrieder
Jan 29th
I looked on my dashwire (great free service, BTW – syncs everything on your phone/online) last night and Max hasn’t called me since December 10th. I’ve left a couple of messages on his MySpace because I can see he’s logged in there recently. Or his girlfriend Kela has, I dunno if he gave her permissions. She’s over there too, but not in the same location. He’s back in Kirkuk and she’s admin for their battalion and is in Tikrit.
I know there are times they are restricted from calling. I know he can’t always afford a calling card for his cell. I also know – even though it’s a PITA to wait in line – there are company phones available. But every time I stop and think about him (like now) I get really worried and tear up. Yes, even I have a heart.
Last time he was there and didn’t call me for a while it was apparently when he got hurt. I didn’t know he was hurt until he came home and off-handedly showed me his purple heart like it was no big deal. Actually, it really wasn’t that time, but the point is he never told me and when I asked him why he said he didn’t want me to freak out.
I don’t freak out when shit happens. I’m calm as hell when shit happens. It’s when I’m imagining shit that I freak out. And after. When the boys were in that car accident a few years ago, I was calm as hell the whole evening until I got them both safely in my car for the ride home. Then I fell apart.
Anyway. My friend Jamie offered her son’s help getting to Max. He’s some Army muckety-muck and can track him down and make sure he’s okay. Problem is, the information Max gave me before he left isn’t any good because his orders changed once he got there. AND he’d be really pissed if his Mommy went over his head and tracked him down and he was fine, just being a thoughtless asshole – which is entirely possible.
Okay, I’m practically sobbing now so I need to put him out of my mind. Just thought some of you would like an update and now you can stop asking and making me worry more.
PS. Aranel? Do you still have that casualty link you gave me last time? I don’t have it on my new laptop.
Mini Update
Dec 10th
Child support check is 10 days late. And I can’t find the stupid folder with my divorce papers in it to look up my number to call and find out what’s going on. I’ve torn my frakking desk apart and no sign of it. I just looked that stuff up a month ago, where could I have put it down?
Max called today. He’s in Kirkuk but his girlfriend is still in Tikrit.
Mesa’s museums are free on the first Sunday of the month now, so we took Kira out and about. We had a really good day. Casey’s growing his hair out for the first time since he was 12.
Ginnie backed into a rental car tonight. The business was closed so I made her go back up there and leave a note with her information. She says she couldn’t find a crack around the door to slide it in and didn’t want to just leave it out in the open. It’s just a mark on the fender, so I suggested she go by after school tomorrow.
Not much else going on. Biding my time.
Aftermath
Nov 28th
So yesterday was a bust. My pie was a bit overdone and we got to their house around 11:30 and didn’t eat until almost 3. In the meantime, their 3-year-old had about three absolute screaming fits lasting 30-40 minutes each, then she was clingy and whiny. Poor Kira didn’t get to play with her much, but seemed to have a good time anyway.
I had to bite my tongue more than usual. Seriously. The first screaming fit started when ThatChild starting throwing oranges all over the floor and someone asked her to pick them back up. She went into a spectacular meltdown that finally ended in her room. Now this is how they handle it.
The child’s mother threatens the child with spanking and never follows through. Drives me nuts! Not that spanking is the answer, just whatever you’re going to threaten, frikking follow through. ThatChild gets more out of control, kicking and screaming, and Gammy takes her in her room where she continues to baby her (telling the kid she’s RIGHT and everyone’s MEAN) for another 20 minutes, then brings her back out and cuddles her for a while. The father stands aside and says/does nothing. Which is actually a pattern for said pussy-whipped chronically unemployed father. And they’re expecting another brat soon.
Rinse and repeat every time ThatChild doesn’t get exactly what she wants on command. By the third meltdown, I mentioned that I had no problem spanking her if they wouldn’t mind. ThatChild doesn’t come anywhere near me. She must see my opinion plastered all over my face. Spoiled brat.
Kira on the other hand never Screeched, never had a fit and maybe back-talked twice – when she was tired. To which her father responded with a stern voice and a followed through threat to take a nap. I’m so proud.
I can’t stand bad parenting. Not that I’m any expert, but when your child is out of control and driving everyone batty, chances are you’re not doing much right. I could take my kids out in public as small children and they were pleasant. Of course, I have no control over how they act now.
Anyway, the meal was fantabulous and I napped on the couch while the toddlers napped and some of the adults played Monopoly. I finished off with a piece of my dried-out pie and went home. Peace and quiet!
Max called while I was there and got to talk to Casey too. Not as garbled as his previous phone calls. I gather he’s still in temporary housing in Tikrit and (Army change of plans) his bunch (platoon, section, troop – sorry, I don’t speak Army) is being sent back next week to where he was last time in Kirkuk. It’s only 45 minutes by helicopter, Mom. Helicopter! Now all I see is visions from Blackhawk down.
I'm still here!
Nov 13th
My conversations lately with LJ have been eerily similar to my conversations with my father:
M: Hey Dad, what’s up
D: Everything’s fine here, everything okay there?
M: All about the same, everything’s cool.
D: Okay, love ya then, bye!
Seriously, that’s just about how short. He’s not one to waste much time on the phone. I think the longest phone conversation I ever had with him took almost 20 minutes.
Max has called a few times from over there. He tried calling several times the first morning of PodcampAZ and I missed him and carried my (on vibrate) phone in my hand the rest of the weekend hoping he’d try again. The last two attempts were less than satisfactory. Static, cutting in and out and somewhat garbled, not to mention quite late at night. That boy never did understand time zone differences. I gather he’s in finally in Tikrit. They had a two-week stopover in Kuwait for whatever reason, then were supposed to move on to their base over last weekend. He’s got an “over there” cell phone so I now I need to find an international calling card.
Went to a friend’s house for a “we went to London and you didn’t so you have to see our pictures” party Saturday evening. I was really impressed by her Husband’s intensity in presenting the Harry Potter series of vacation shots. He’d apparently spent hours before the trip investigating actual shooting locations and plotting the course and then clipping screen shots from the movies for comparison afterward. Complete with theme music. Very nicely done. I suggested YouTube.
After that, I met another friend and her MIL at a local (crappy) bar and had a great time watching her do Karaoke. Not enough chutzpah to get up and do it myself yet. I may have to practice a couple of songs for next time, just in case I get up the nerve.
Oh oH OHHH, guess where they took the Freelander to get fixed? Seriously! I had to go down there Monday morning to sign off on it. The other guy’s insurance man asked me where I wanted it to go – completely covered – and I suggested the auto body place where Buck works. Yeah, part of me is giggling, but for reals this way I know he’ll make sure it’s all fixed before we get it back. He’s vested in this stupid car loan too and we need it as good as it can get to sell it for as much as possible.
Still ignoring all calls from Wells Fargo. The flunkies on the phone never seem to scroll down to the notes and I got sick and tired of repeating the same lines over and over. As soon as the car is back I’ll call the one specific number I need to. Until then, there’s no law that says I have to answer the phone.
Let’s see . . .
Have spent time with Kira, but I can’t readily find the cable I need to transfer pics from my camera. Silly me didn’t seat the memory card properly last time and all the pics takes since then went to the internal memory instead. Duh.
Ginnie’s mice keep dieing. She’s been getting them from PetCo the last few times because they’re cheaper but pretty soon their hair falls out in chunks and they eventually just lay down and die. She’s supposed to be raising mice for term project in school. Even the snake won’t eat them. It was hilarious watching the snake roam around the bathtub with the damned mouse riding on his back. I should have taken video. Snake was sooo not interested. Unfortunately, now she has to dump or clean everything and start over before winter break. And yes, the kitten is gone. It’s living at boyfriend’s house.
Can’t think of anything else at the mo.
The month from Hell
Oct 21st
If there really was a Hell, I’d be standing on the edge.
My car died. And I keep getting the same lame-ass phone monkeys when I contact Wells Fargo about what to do now. Could I please speak to someone who can actually READ the notes?
My phone died. Again. This time it just won’t charge or turn on. Eventually I get another replacement, but there was a week there when all text messages and voice mails evaporated.
My rent check got lost – which actually turned out OK, but I had a really angsty week worrying about late fees and stuff. With proof the bank screwed up I’m cool with no late fees. I lurve my landlord.
My son left for his second deployment to Iraq.
My support check is late. So I can’t even get another rental car until that shows up. And the car Ginnie borrowed for 5 minutes to pick me up from the rental place ran out of gas.
Daughter just happened to step outside tonight just as the ex was cruising past our place. I wonder how many times he’s done that! And Ginnie’s met the new girlfriend who was with him. Nice date, cruising past his ex’s apartment.
The program I bought to create the Program Directory for PodcampAZ has been giving me fits. It says I can use any Windows acceptable font, and is supposed to save to pdf but every time I try it I ended up with white text on white background. Finally, after hours of searching help pages for both this stupid program and Adobe, I managed to get it to work. But not on an Adobe reader – there are with X in it at the end of every line. Yet if I open the same pdf with another reader those marks aren’t there. I win?
I have the Evo @ 11 recording Wednesday night, possibly Gangplank‘s podcast too. I have a Podcamp workup on Saturday and I have Jury Duty next Monday.
I cannot WAIT for this month to be over.
Weekend Update
Sep 28th
Had Casey and The Screech here most of the weekend, until I had a hissy fit early this afternoon and he took his kid and slagged off somewhere. I’m just so tired of being trod upon. You know how they say the best thing about being a grandparent is you get to hand them back when you’re done? Yeah, I can’t seem to hand her back. Even when he’s HERE he expects me to supervise her the entire time. He stays around long enough to put her in bed (though doesn’t wait ’til she’s actually asleep) then goes out with his buddies until 3-4 in the morning. Then gets irritated with her when she gets up at the normal time in the morning and wants his attention. You’re her father for christ’s sake, play with the kid. She’s sick of Grammi already. And he knows that and gets all apologetic after. She’s two tomorrow and isn’t old enough to get that Daddy A) isn’t a morning person even on his best day and B) still wants to be young and stay out all night. So I alternate snark with blunt-ass comments about what he needs to do.
Her Birthday party is next weekend. Mr. Nice Guy lent quite a bit of cash to an old friend weeks ago and hasn’t seen a return on that since. His next week’s check is clear so he can throw her party then. And Buck is planning on going so I won’t. Let him have the day.
I’m forcing myself to read The Catcher in the Rye because apparently you’re supposed to have read this in school. I didn’t. Please tell me there’s a payoff in the end? This is on my top 10 most boringly pointless books of all time. If this whiny, hateful crap is all there is, how on earth did this crap get published in the first place? I don’t get it. Unless there’s something interesting in the end. I’m about halfway and I’ll really be pissed if nothing happens.
Max called with the latest deployment information. He’s being sent to Camp Speicher in Tikrit, leaving October 17th, spending a week in Kuwait again and then onto the base. Another month maybe until he gets a phone that works there. We’ve been through this before.
Other than this night, I tried really hard not to think about where he was and the increased danger. He didn’t tell me about getting hit by shrapnel and all that until he came home on leave. I don’t dwell on it. There’s nothing I can actively DO so there’s no point in worrying, right?
Except for some reason this time when I DO think about it I’m covered in this HUGE dread cloud. I don’t know why. I totally believe in the power of positive thinking which is probably why I don’t think about Iraq. This time is harder. I didn’t say anything to him, but this time is 10 times worse.
Think POSITIVE thoughts Debbie.
I’ve been wracking my brain about this fucking car. I’m so screwed. It Blue Books at around $4k and I owe over $16k. My credit is already shit, so I’m seriously thinking about defaulting and dumping the damned thing. Someone suggested bankruptcy. Never EVER get a Land Rover. This fucking car has caused me nothing but hassle and angst since I drove it off the lot. It’s been doing that shimmying grinding thing it was doing last year. Yes the parts were warrantied, but I can guarantee you that dealership will fuck me over as much as they can if I take it back. Plus the cheap Tire Pros tires I bought are already getting thin. I’m not picky anymore. I just want a dependable car with A/C (and maybe a decent stereo) that can move Ginnie and I and everyone else who depends on us for transportation. I have to have A/C. I spend way too much time sitting in this car waiting for other people and half that time with a baby in the back.
Can’t think of anything else. Catch y’all later.
Hot diggity DAMN!
May 9th
Ticket Information
Passenger(s): DEBRA WALKER,
VIRGINIA WALKER
Hawaiian record locator: XXXXXX
Ticket type requested: electronic (e-ticket)
CheapTickets record locator: XXXXXXXX
Airline ticket number(s): XXXXXXXX, XXXXXXXX
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Hawaiian # 35
Phoenix Sky Harbor Intl (PHX) to Honolulu/Oahu International (HNL)
Departure (PHX): June 12, 8:15 AM MST (morning)
Arrival (HNL): June 12, 11:40 AM HST (morning)
It’s official! I’m so excited. The only problem is he can’t afford the tickets to get us back home. He’s expecting his economic recovery check to be mailed and will use that. Or I could be trapped in Hawaii.
Damn, things are really going well for me lately.
Number 2 is 22.
Mar 14th
Max’s Birthday today. He wanted me to ship him Flat Tire as a Birthday present. He can’t get that in Hawaii and at the moment it’s his favorite beer. Hey, at least it’s not Bud.
Besides being broke, I have no idea about the laws (not sure I care that much) or the procedures for shipping wet stuff. Boy will have to wait. I wonder if I can go to some place like Magnums and have them box it all up. I’m pretty sure they’re not allowed to ship, but maybe they’d get it all ready and I could do it.
Whatever. I just can’t do it this week. I’m sure he’ll be fine.
Shite Night
Nov 20th
My LJ had to go to plus, temporarily, because I missed the paid subscription deadline and I have no spare money until the first of the month. No biggie, except I don’t know how to select the lousy 15 avatars I’m allowed. They arbitrarily chose 15 from what I had uploaded, using some unknown method.
Max and Candice took me out to play pool tonight and I’m a little buzzed. I had two glasses of some form of Hefe that wasn’t very good and a bit of Max’s Amber bock. I suck at pool now. You’d never know we had a frakking pool table in our living room for years by my playing tonight. Some cute guy actually flirted with me but I didn’t realize it until after he’d given up and wandered away. Candice had to tell me. Damn I’m seriously out of practice.
I had another conversation with Max. I’m so not happy with him. He’s hanging with Candice, his first real girlfriend who now is married to some other (deployed) guy and pregnant besides. But over the weekend his Hawaii girlfriend came for a visit. And in the meantime his Alabama girlfriend – who he told me he broke up with months ago – sends me a message on MySpace telling me it’s news to her too. Personally I’ve always loved Candice and I was happy when I found out she’d gotten past the drinking and drugs phase of her life. But she knows I’m not happy about them too. Moth to the flame, moth to the flame.
Dude, you really need to stop treating these women this way. A) What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, and B) Woman scorned and all that whatever the saying is. Candice – who understands completely that she’s the booty call and loves him anyway – and I have decided that Max’s new name is Taint. He’s the stinky place between a Dick and an Asshole. Taint knows Mom’s not happy. He’s supposed to be going back to HI on Wednesday and I nagged him again to set aside some time to be with his father. He hasn’t bother to see him since the day he came in.
Perfect name, eh? Taint. I love him, but he’s crossing some fundamental lines of decent behavior.
Somehow I totally missed, until this very moment, that this is my USAF anniversary date. Or rather, yesterday was since I’m writing this after midnight. I shipped out November 19th, 1979. Go me.
I really need to go to bed.
Got my first tat!
Nov 15th
And it frakking HURT!
My cute dragon:
Max got a couple smaller ones (Death and Life) that can be read up side down and right side up.
My shoulder is a bit burny right now, but I’m very happy with the results.
