so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged max
Went out with a whimper
Jan 1st
Jezuz christ, the last few days of 2009 were certainly eventful.
Except Christmas. I got nothing for Christmas but the flu. Then again, I didn’t get anyone else anything either. I may have even had the HiNi flu, I dunno. There was a moment in there I would have gone to the emergency room had I the energy to shuffle out to my car.
So for New Year’s Eve Eve (Wednesday) I decided to take everyone out to Texas Roadhouse. We’d not had a Christmas Dinner, or much of a Thanksgiving either. My number one adopted son Shane and his daughter tagged along too. We had a really great dinner and I agreed to take the two little girls home with me so they could all go out. Peachy.
Yesterday morning the girls and I went to McDonald’s for breakfast and play. They were fighting and whiny and I couldn’t get either father on the phone. Came home and tried to do my business while they continued to fight and whine. Finally at noon the guys stumbled in to get them.
Shortly after that I got a text from Max asking what I was doing the rest of the day.
- Making a dump cake
- Cleaning my kitchen
- Taking a nap to prepare for being up late
- Wrapping the two lousy gifts I managed to get for my friends
- Shower and dress up
- Be at ShEvo’s by 6:30 to record a show
- Party the rest of the night
Not much right? He responded:
can u take an hour outa that and spend it with me? we r gonna get a courthouse marriage today and id like you to be there
WHAT THE FUCK?
Sure his divorce was final earlier this week and I knew he’d been spending most of his time with Shane’s sister… OMG I can’t remember her name! Shit. My bad. I’d only met the girl through a dark car window one time. That’s it. She seems nice enough and I love Shane so I can assume with the same upbringing… I dunno, I’ll have to wait and see, right?

At least I got to be at this wedding. That’s the same judge that Max, Shane and Casey have all stood before for not-so-good reasons but I didn’t see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Small town.
Anyway, on to Sheila and Evo’s for our recording and their party. I’d had trouble since the flu with my breathing whenever I exerted myself and it just got worse and worse all night. By midnight I was being a downer in a really great party and in real guppy distress and my friends were all offering to drive me to the hospital. Fine. I asked Katie and Tyler cuz I have to go downtown Phoenix to the VA and I know Tyler lives the closest and Katie lives near me so it wouldn’t be as inconvenient – plus they hadn’t been drinking.
Technically it was after 12:30 by the time we got to the ER and 3:30 when got home, but I’m just going to chalk it up as 2009 not letting go. More on that later.
2010 has GOT to be better, right? I feel great this morning!
November is booked.
Oct 14th
Oh. My. Shit.
I have a ton of stuff to do in November.
- Ignite Phoenix 5 (Tuesday Nov 3 – 6:00pm – 9:00pm)
Tickets, hashtag: #ignitephx
Tempe Center for the Arts – map
- WordCamp Phoenix (Friday Nov 13 – 8:00am – 5:00pm)
Register, hashtag: #wcphx
Arizona Grand Resort – map
- PodCampAz (Sat-Sun Nov 14 – 15)
Register, hashtag: #podcampaz
University of Advancing Technology – map
There’s #evfn every Friday night, recording for Evo @11 every week, Max is due home November 19th at midnight, and Thanksgiving is the 26th. Sometime in there I’m expecting a special guest, too.
Just a few quick notes
Sep 29th
… for people who are actually paying attention.
Today is Kira’s third birthday. No her mother didn’t bother to call. We haven’t really mentioned the actual birthday to Kira. She’s hyped up for her party this weekend. At this age the party is the actual turning point, and Casey doesn’t even have a final plan yet. We’re so lame.
Did I mention Max will be home on leave again from mid-November through January? And completely out of the Army in February. Oh, ALONE. Apparently the sekrit fake mawiage didn’t make it. She’s out, lawyers have been consulted, she still hasn’t told her family. Oh well.
I don’t have anything nice to say about Ginnie. I love her but I HATE everything she’s doing at the moment. She’s really pissing me off.
Actually, I’m not happy about anything in my life at the moment. Biding my time, hoping things will improve soon.
I keep getting meaner and meaner, more short tempered and bitter. I don’t know how to stop being taken advantage of. I need some me time. I need someone to be on my side. Seriously, I need someone to shake out this doormat.

Or vice-versa!
Sep 15th
I chuckled at a post on How Not to Act Old regarding stalking your adult children on social media sites.
What if you’re more worried about what they’ll learn about you by your posts?
Ginnie’s been my friend on MySpace (I have a lame page there just to keep track of her and her friends back when they were all in High School) for some time. So has Max. I’m pretty sure the only time I was at all parental was when I suggested to my niece that she remove the photos of her using a bong. Ginnie’s also been a friend on Facebook for a while and Max just signed up. It’s fun to look at pictures and some of their comments, but I seldom (if ever) post anything to their sites.
But what do they see from my feed?
Snark about children’s programming, where and what I’m drinking, how horny I am, et.
My twitter feed also posts to Facebook so there are odd comments like this:
I think he said he’ll be leaving there tomorrow and should be back in Hawaii in a week. I think. Or he’s pregnant with cows. I’m not sure.
http://twitpic.com/hno0h – Pool supplies. 1 inch vodka, fill with cherry 7-up.
GirlChild is going with me to friend’s *ahem* party. This is going to be fun.
This weekend someone showed me the ASL sign for horny. I feel empowered to a whole new bunch of menfolk.
I battle with the urge to be discrete considering my audience. I seldom do censor, but I have this whole mental argument before some of my posts. Fuck it, I’m me.
In the immortal and always appropriate words of Bon Jovi,
It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
(It’s my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My Moto Q is a camera after all
Aug 14th
I never realized my mobile can take decent pictures! I’ve always ported them over using USB hookup or sometimes emailed them to twitpic and they always looked like shit.
I signed up for a free site called Dashwire and it syncs EVERYTHING from my phone. Text messages, calls, favorites, pictures and videos, ringtones, etc. And now you can sign up for a service that intercepts your voice mail and get those emailed to you. And you can send your pics to twitter/facebook/twitter.
So here goes:
Not a bad shot taken in a Wendy’s in California.
Well, this one is more like what I usually get, grainy and a bit blurry because I didn’t hold perfectly still. That little person in the middle is Kira running to get back into a bouncy house slide thing. I was trying for a long shot to show how massive this Jump and Shout play area is. You know, perspective.
I still can’t get my phone to consistently email to twitpic or flickr. Sometimes it works. I have better luck with mobipics. My next phone will text photos, email photos, do something with photos on a regular basis. I think I’m due for an upgrade in December.
Hectic
Aug 5th
Okay, quick update for those of you who don’t wait with bated breath for my twitter/facebook updates.
1. Leaving this morning for California for a couple of days. Max is taking Ginnie to Six Flags and I’m going to be a vegetable by the pool – alone.
2. Saturday I sign my lease, Ginnie and Roger move in and I move in on Sunday.
3. They found a spot on my mammogram, so Tuesday I go in for an ultrasound. This has happened before so I’m not worked up about it. She’s all bugging me to come in right away, but I gots plans. A few days won’t matter.
4. I haven’t killed anyone here yet, but I’m pretty damned close. Casey found a sublet so that’s off my mind.
Bombshell
Aug 1st
Yes Max and Kela arrived today. Hours later than expected but finally here. They were in Kela’s sister’s wedding yesterday and left California late this morning. So they get to my house and we all immediately set out for a late dinner at the buffet.
So we’re chatting over dinner, I verify that Kela has re-enlisted, we talk about Max getting out and working the same job for the DoD, about what’s going on around here and I ask how the wedding went yesterday. What’s the plan for their own wedding?
“Mom, we are married.”
Dumbfounded, I just stare at him. “When did you get married”
“I called and told you the next day! Back in September (26th) last year before we deployed!”
Uh, No. I think I’d remember that. I certainly would have written something here, right?
Kela mumbles “AWKward!”
Not that it’s a problem. As long as he’s happy I’m happy. She seems like a girl I could get to like a lot, I just haven’t spent much time getting to know her. No obvious problems, ticks, or other issues. You know… normal, and she puts up with his assholeness and gives it right back at him. I (so far) kind of like her.
But apparently she comes from an old school patriarchal family and they never got around to asking her father’s permission and haven’t told them either. He wants to wait til they get back to Hawaii in a couple more months, and do a second wedding then. Right. Cuz starting a marriage with a big fat lie is always a good plan.
He’s convinced he told me all about it. I reply that if he had not only would I remember it, I would have told Ginnie and Casey right away. Ginnie looked as stunned as I did. Casey found out weeks ago from Max’s best friend Shane and never mentioned to me thinking I already knew and for some reason didn’t tell him. Whatever.
Later in the conversation he mentions an argument they always have about wanting his son to have a mohawk. I just raised my eyebrows at them,”Is there anything else you’ve failed to tell me son?”
Family drama
Jul 26th
I know you can’t pick your family. I sure as shit wouldn’t have picked mine.
First, I’ve mentioned my niece Miss B has a new baby she named Damien Gabriel. And she’s living with a guy who is apparently a complete asshat. I don’t know him but from what everyone in the family says, he’s as useless as a third dick. Miss B has chosen against all advice to stay with this person so my lovely sister has sued for emergency custody of the baby and won. Now she’s holding this baby hostage to everyone’s good behavior. Beth is one of those people who if you cross her she cuts you out of her life. She hasn’t spoken to me in years and I still don’t know why. She hasn’t spoken to our mother either, but has graciously allowed an hour visit a week to Mom. Mom says those visits are rife with tension and false pleasantries but she refuses to be baited into argument because Beth will then have an excuse to cut her out again.
This is all happening in Florida so there’s not much I can do or say. I’m not there to get in the middle or mediate or anything. I’m disappointed in Miss B for choosing a man over her child, but her mother did the same thing years ago. I feel I should call her and remind her of how she felt when her mother shipped her out here to me. I feel I should call my sister and remind her of her own EXACT behavior years ago. But I won’t call either of them. I’m not there, I don’t know fact from hearsay and I really don’t think either of them would listen to me anyway.
_____
Secondly, Casey finally got around to phoning his baby mama Sky. What a fiasco that was. Kira got to talk to her Mommy for the first time since last NOVEMBER and now she’s completely confused. She thinks Mommy is near and she’s coming to see her. Then Sky’s completely deluded rant about expecting Casey to send Kira to see her in Indiana for 6 months of the year, shared custody. Are you still living in a homeless shelter? Yes. Do you have a job yet? No. She thinks she’s got a leg to stand on. I do believe this might just light a fire under Casey’s ass about actually getting the divorce started instead of just talking about it all the fucking time. She cheated, had children by another man, lived with yet another man, seldom asked to visit her daughter and when she did she’d send her back after just a couple of days, and finally left the state without notification and put her other children up for adoption. Oh yeah, mother of the year there.
_____
Max called yesterday and they’re in San Diego this week and will be here on Saturday. I can wait, now that he’s safely in the States. He called again a few minutes ago to laugh at all the geeks/nerds he’s seen around because of Comic-Con. I explained that he was disparaging my people and that I’d love to be there, and now he says he’ll stop by tomorrow and get me tickets for next year. They go on sale in the morning. We’ll see. I’m pretty sure if he gets the tickets I can find a place to sleep there.
_____
After my obligatory call to my Mother I called my Dad – which is always nicer. He spent 10 minutes talking about the wonders of 5-minute energy drinks. Dad, you do realize that’s not good for your already stressed heart? Ask your doctor before you try that again!
I vant to be alone.
There’s been a possibility of a booty call from a new neighbor. We had an almost session the other night, but he was a little too freaked out about GirlChild downstairs and a lot too drunk. I never know when I’ll be home alone and he’ll be available and I’m moving in two weeks, so it might never happen. Oh well. His favorite saying? It is what it is. And it is. We’ll see.
*** edited because I forgot to run spellcheck, so bite me.

Update on Max
Mar 25th
Max called me Monday morning (and I had a post up here but Casey closed my browser and lost it) and I’ve got a bit of an update.
Tentatively, he and Kela will be here on leave mid-August. He’s not sure of the dates yet. And better yet, sometime in the first two weeks of December he wants to fly us and some of his best friends out to Hawaii for his – get this – wedding.

This is Kela and Max from someone else’s wedding. Probably the best picture I have of them.
Max finally called
Feb 28th
I haven’t actually talked to Toadwort since December. He’s left a couple of messages that didn’t really say much.
So what I gather from this crappy call is that he’s been moved an hour north of where he was with a small group of other Army guys and they’re inside an Iraqi base, well protected by Iraqi soldiers. Peachy. And that their phone service is occaisional and spotty and he’ll call or email more often. Cuz I yelled at him.
He’s hoping for leave around the end of June into July and possibly back completely in October. We’ll see.










