For the last couple of years we’ve been getting together as a family along with some of my children’s friends. We have pot-luck at a park, have activities for the kids and just have a pleasant day in what is usually a great time to be outside in Arizona.

I got there just in time to miss the water balloon fight (oh gee darn) but got lots of wet hugs. What, water balloons are egg-shaped! I grubbed up on a variety of food and watched the kids play. Daughter arrived with baby so I got to show him off and then the egg hunt started. Little Jack even got one plastic egg of his own. Kira did great too. Unfortunately some of the candies were chocolate and melty which ended up all over many little faces.

So of course I did the Grammi thing and scooped up a fingertip of melty chocolate and offered it up to Jack. His little bird mouth opened and then the little shit did the ungrateful thing. Hey, guess what? Jack has his two bottom teeth coming in and I now have a sore spot on my finger. It was adorable how he licked his chops and wanted more – of the chocolate or my finger I cannot guess.

OK so I don’t really care for other people’s children (even those I have known since their birth) but this is the one time and place where it’s appropriate for kids to be filthy and running around having a ball.

Plus I didn’t have to stay very long.

My cousin’s wife sent me this email:

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  May Christ’s birth bless you with love and forgiveness in 2012.

(What’s with the love of exclamation points?)

First of all, I prefer Happy Holidays as it’s more inclusive of everyone who celebrates this season. I’m not sure I know any Jewish people or anyone who does Kwanzaa but everyone celebrates something, right? Even our Atheist family we have Christmas trees and gifts, traditional Eve pizza and then drive around looking at lights.

Last night we gathered at Max’s and had our family Christmas. Everyone was happy with my well-thought-out gifts and I was happy with the earrings and fireplace tools I received. And especially the Zynga game card! We even had my Dad on Skype while we opened presents so it was like he was actually there.

Secondly, why do I need forgiveness? One thing I dislike about religion is the assumption that everyone is bad unless they ask forgiveness from some god constantly. What a way to go through life. I’ve read the book and nobody can live up to the standards set there, even if one religion or another could actually finalize them. I feel people are basically good, but some make more bad decisions than others. If I’ve done something I need forgiveness for be sure to let me know.

So… I hope you’ve had a happy holiday whatever it is, and here’s hoping 2012 actually finishes even better than this year.

Short and sweet, I promise.

Casey and Kira are doing great. He’s got a really good job and Kira is in kindergarten. She turned 5 in September and never stops talking. The hair? Well, he thought by showing up with his hair like that he’d get out of family picture day. No such luck. I get to have Kira overnight a couple times a week and she’s just now starting to get interesting as a person. We do have some good times.

Max and Krystal are doing well also. They have 2 cats and no plans for children. Max is going to school and working part-time for now. In another year he’ll be done with school, working full time and planning on buying a house. Krystal works too and is hoping to go to cooking school when Max graduates.

Ginnie and her boyfriend Tyler had a baby this year. His name is Jack and he’s wonderful. They are for the time being living with Tyler’s mom so there’s always someone around to take care of Jack but have plans for their future.

I’m still the same. I volunteer for various events and go out every week with friends but I still am alone or spending way too much time with my kids. With the economy the way it is, they can’t do well without help. We’ve ended up very close so I guess I’m not as alone as I thought.

We laugh over the claim every year that non-believers are waging war on Christmas. So here is my collection of recent battles:

Let’s start with Fox’s. Fox is the biggest PITA complainer and yet when they put up their ornaments this year, they were listed as “Holiday” ornaments. Apparently someone got the heads up on it and the page was changed to Christmas ornaments – though I can’t verify because as of this minute you can’t even get to any Fox ornament page. 404 my ass.

(Haha, I get a “potentially dangerous” warning from McAfee when I open Fox News website)

Another uber-religious blowhard, Rick Perry and his family wish you Happy Holidays.

Sure there are minor battles going on all over the country regarding government-sanctioned nativity scenes like this one in Santa Monica and another in Athens, Texas. Some city governments get it and let every religion (or non-religion) put up a holiday symbol but others assume when Atheists ask for equal treatment they’re really at war against Christians. Actually we just want fair and equal treatment for everyone, all or nothing.

The Atheists I know don’t complain about Christmas trees, official or otherwise. In fact, the rumor about the White House renaming their trees Holiday Trees is false. I don’t put up a tree anymore but it’s not for any non-religious reason. I love Christmas Trees, I just don’t have the room or the energy. In fact, Christmas Trees aren’t religious anyhow:

I love decorated houses. When I had a house I went overboard with the lights. I still have a 6ft winter penguin and a cute little inflatable reindeer. I love gift-giving and fellowship, some of the music and most of the other traditions for this time of year. I’ve even visited various nativity scenes (and a live one in Florida) with the kids over the years. The nativity is one of the nicer parts of the jesus myth. Who wouldn’t want to believe in a miraculous child? One of my favorite songs is Mary Did You Know? But to me it’s about as believable as Star Wars legends.

There is no war. People, especially Christians, must be reminded the season is NOT all about them, that’s all.

My girlfriend CJ hosts a pot-luck breakfast and then has Santa show up for a chat with each kid and lots of pictures, but he’s not actually there for breakfast. So I went to pickup Kira yesterday morning to take her to Breakfast with Santa, as I do every year.

But of course – even after discussing it ad nauseam all week AND him shopping the night before for a new holiday outfit – everyone was sound asleep when I got there. Good thing I got there early. Little darling takes her shower (by herself don’tchaknow) and gets ready to go… adding the unfortunate hair accessory of her own free will.

The rest of the photo set are here, or just click the pic above. She had a great time, though there were way too many kids for her comfort. Once a major chunk cleared out she fit right in.

Then we went back to my house. Unfortunately. Ginnie’s fucking son of a bitch piece of shit old fart dog tends to piss all over my house when he doesn’t get outside often enough. Sometimes we find the spots and sometimes we don’t. All of the don’t spots have added up so much so that I can’t sit in the living room any more. Wanda the Witch’s Wonder Nose™ picks up even the slightest odors and she stops being able to breathe. Period.

So Kira and I opted for a nap while (after I was breathless from screaming obscenities at her) Ginnie attempted to clean the living room carpet.

FAIL

So yeah, it’s slightly damp and cool in Arizona this week and that makes it much worse for me. All that and cleaning solvent too! By late evening, even trapped in my bedroom (where the dog isn’t allowed) I can’t control the wheezing. So I made Ginnie take me to the VA hospital before I – you know – died.

When I go into the emergency room anywhere with an asthma attack certain things always happen:

• I always get right in: no triage – no waiting room.
• I always get a breathing treatment immediately.
• Sometimes I’m sent to get chest X-ray, last night they came to me.
• Usually they take blood samples. Sometimes I get an IV for meds.
• Sometimes there is a second or third breathing treatment.
• I almost always leave with prednisone and an antibiotic.

Last night the Doctor (or highest medical on the food chain – nobody tells you who they are) got froggy and ordered an Arterial Blood Gas. Let me tell you, you NEVER want one of those.

First of all, the wonderfully nice but inept nurse butchered my left arm trying to put in the IV before moving to my right wrist – which I HATE because then there’s never any comfortable rest for your hand. Then the respiratory guy (with 15 years experience he’s never had any trouble *rolleyes*) comes down for the ABG from hell. Okay, they have to dig in and find an artery – I get that – but dig is the operative word here. First he tried my left wrist. I tried not to scream too loudly and kept my language non-personal. When that didn’t work he moved to my right arm and I got a little more personal.

I really don’t know if his mother was a bitch or a whore but he certainly was the son of one. And he fucked his mother frequently. So that’s when he gave up and called in reinforcements.

Look, I’m not afraid of needles. On a good day I breeze right through this shit. But as tense as every muscle in my body was after struggling to breathe my blood vessels were apparently just as tense. Oh well.

Reinforcement Tom/Ray/Bob/Some short name popped in and managed to get the ABG out of my arm without too much time or discomfort. I offered to blow him as thanks but he declined. I did tell him to flag my chart so they’d call him if I ever needed to do this again.

By the time it was all over and done I looked like I’d been through a war.

I’ve said in previous years that I wasn’t feeling Christmas but this year is the worst.

I went to my friend’s Holiday Show and that perked me up for a couple of days. But now… not so much.

I dragged out my Christmas decorations… and sent most of them to Casey’s house.

I’m supposed to go to another friend’s concert tonight and I just can’t get up the strength to go. And I’ve overdosed myself on every Christmas themed moved on TV this weekend to no avail.

I’m just not feeling it.

Maybe it’s because I have NO money to spare on presents so I’m blocking the whole thing. I even told someone the other day I was atheist and didn’t celebrate, not that it’s true I just didn’t want to get into that whole what are you doing for Christmas conversation.

Well yes, I’m an atheist but I still (usually) appreciate the sharing celebration of the time. I know Casey has a crapload of presents for Kira so I only feel slightly guilty I can’t get her anything. I think I do pretty well at picking out the perfect presents for people, but I’m seriously broke this year. Maybe I can scrounge enough to get groceries for a big dinner. But then I’d have to invite all my kids to my crappy, disgusting, teeny, horrible apartment.

I completely understand why Christmas is the biggest season for suicides. It’s really extra-depressing when everyone around you is cheerful and partying and you’re sitting at home feeling all left out and sorry for yourself. I can’t WAIT for New Years. I hate Christmas.

My friend Ruthie invited me to her Church’s Christmas concert, so Atheist that I am, I decided to go for it. I love Ruthie that much.

I’m so glad I did! I had a fabulous time! Let me start by saying this isn’t your normal church and it’s not your normal Christmas show. It’s a LGBT Church and the show was… almost secular.

Ruthie’s first song was Mary Did You Know, which is one of my favorite songs. I think of it as a song for any mother who’s child grows up to be extra-special or famous and it always gives me goosebumps. There was the dead-on Grinch song, some ladies singing the 12 Days After Christmas – which cracked me up – a nice violinist, an excellent piano player, and so much more.

I must say though, I thought drag singers you know, actually sang. This one lip-synched but did put on a show.

Thank you Ruthie for inviting me. I think I’m finally getting into the Christmas mood!

Not a huge deal in our bunch. Ended up making dump cake and going over to Casey’s where we gathered at his neighbor’s for dinner. There was a nice turkey and ham choice and we all had more than enough to eat.

The after-dinner conversation was… interesting. After Holly’s disgust with anyone eating dark meat (me) we moved onto the have-you-ever-hads. We all had a chance to show our ignorance of basic meat origins. I knew bulls never fuck the same cow twice but I’m still a bit confused on the difference between bulls and steers (male cows w/no balls?) and why if bulls are so picky, there aren’t more bulls. Then onto baby animal meat. Then… my son confesses he believes we will eventually start eating human meat and he wonders what would taste better, roasted babies or well muscled adults.

Ugh. And I gave birth to that boy.

After dinner I headed over to Gangplank to see who was around after their Nowhere Else to Go dinner and hung out with friends and watched a couple of them dance and play with the new Xbox Kinect system. Nifty.

I hope your day went well.

Jezuz christ, the last few days of 2009 were certainly eventful.

Except Christmas. I got nothing for Christmas but the flu. Then again, I didn’t get anyone else anything either. I may have even had the HiNi flu, I dunno. There was a moment in there I would have gone to the emergency room had I the energy to shuffle out to my car.

So for New Year’s Eve Eve (Wednesday) I decided to take everyone out to Texas Roadhouse. We’d not had a Christmas Dinner, or much of a Thanksgiving either. My number one adopted son Shane and his daughter tagged along too. We had a really great dinner and I agreed to take the two little girls home with me so they could all go out. Peachy.

Yesterday morning the girls and I went to McDonald’s for breakfast and play. They were fighting and whiny and I couldn’t get either father on the phone. Came home and tried to do my business while they continued to fight and whine. Finally at noon the guys stumbled in to get them.

Shortly after that I got a text from Max asking what I was doing the rest of the day.

• Making a dump cake
• Cleaning my kitchen
• Taking a nap to prepare for being up late
• Wrapping the two lousy gifts I managed to get for my friends
• Shower and dress up
• Be at ShEvo’s by 6:30 to record a show
• Party the rest of the night

Not much right? He responded:

can u take an hour outa that and spend it with me? we r gonna get a courthouse marriage today and id like you to be there

WHAT THE FUCK?

Sure his divorce was final earlier this week and I knew he’d been spending most of his time with Shane’s sister… OMG I can’t remember her name! Shit. My bad. I’d only met the girl through a dark car window one time. That’s it. She seems nice enough and I love Shane so I can assume with the same upbringing… I dunno, I’ll have to wait and see, right?

At least I got to be at this wedding. That’s the same judge that Max, Shane and Casey have all stood before for not-so-good reasons but I didn’t see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Small town.

Anyway, on to Sheila and Evo’s for our recording and their party. I’d had trouble since the flu with my breathing whenever I exerted myself and it just got worse and worse all night. By midnight I was being a downer in a really great party and in real guppy distress and my friends were all offering to drive me to the hospital. Fine. I asked Katie and Tyler cuz I have to go downtown Phoenix to the VA and I know Tyler lives the closest and Katie lives near me so it wouldn’t be as inconvenient – plus they hadn’t been drinking.

Technically it was after 12:30 by the time we got to the ER and 3:30 when  got home, but I’m just going to chalk it up as 2009 not letting go. More on that later.

2010 has GOT to be better, right? I feel great this morning!

Just thought I’d share.

I love this kid.