so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged friends
Reticence
Jun 9th
Must say that since I’ve switched to my own site instead of just livejournal, I’m not as apt to be as open. Feelings schmeelings. I’ve been reading my LJ from the beginning and though 2/3 of it is useless crap, the rest is a decent history of my trials and tribulations.
There’s a certain point where posting my feelings about certain subjects pissed off a few of my “friends” and shows which people are truly friends and which are just shallow contact-counters. One personal comment about not agreeing with a couple of unnamed friend’s lifestyle choices (which I still maintain I should be allowed to make in my own goddamn journal) blew up into the biggest online battle I’d ever been in. Sides were taken resulting in permanent breaks, and temporary walls happened. But in the long run the people I really consider friends are still around. And the person I commented about has now discovered I was basically right and has apparently forgiven me and is back to being my friend. But I’m still gun-shy about expressing my feelings, even in my personal space. I’d love to be more supportive about what she’s going through now, but you know… once bitten, twice shy.
My readership has expanded by leaps and bounds over time and the chances that a general comment about someone specific won’t ring as many bells as it once would. Who know.
I even have to be more careful about I say about my own family. This used to be where I could let out all my anger and disgust and work out the thought processes before confronting family with a more calm and supportive face. Now I don’t know who is reading, who is reporting and who won’t understand THIS is where I say what’s impolite, what I really feel and can’t say aloud and this helps me to be nicer to their faces.
Now that I’m more social in real life, people tell me that I’m too brutal and snarky, that though I have a lot of new friends who like that I’m honest and blunt… I still put a lot of people off.
You know what? Tough shit. If your feelings are so easily hurt by the fact that I may not like something you do (or you AT ALL) that’s your problem. Fuck eggshells. I have a circle of friends who appreciate me, my family is used to how I am and the rest of you can take me as I am. I’m not curbing my comments anymore.
Fair warning.
Cause It's the First of May!
May 1st
Thank you Jonathan Coulton.
I woke up this morning
I had a scone and a large house blend
And then a little conversation with my squirrel and chipmunk friends
I said I’m sick and tired of winter
And I wish that it was spring
And then a little fellow named Robin Redbreast
Began to sing
And he sang
Ooh ooh child, what’d you think the cold winter’s gonna last forever?
Ooh ooh child, now’s the time for all the people to get together
Outside
Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
I thanked him for the information
I cried a little when he flew away
I watched an episode of The People’s Court
And I tried to plan my day
I called up my old lady
She wasn’t home so I called my girl
I asked her if she’d like to join me as I
Entertain the world
And I said
Ooh ooh child, I’ll bring a blanket and I promise I will brush the ants off
Ooh ooh child, you’re gonna like it when we’re taking each other’s pants off
Outside
Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
So we went to the park together
We were walking in the midday sun
We met all kinds of people and we
We fucked everyone
We fucked a lady who sells ice cream
We fucked a man with a tan Shar Pei
Everyone who needed fucking well they
They got fucked today
So come on
Ooh ooh child, open your mind and your heart, feel the spirit moving through you
Ooh ooh child, you’ll feel the warmth of the love when I stick it to you
Outside
Cause it’s the first of May, first of May
Outdoor fucking starts today
So bring your favorite lady
Or at least your favorite lay
The water’s not cold baby dip in your big toe
Maybe I’ll see you in flagrante delicto
Grass below you, sky above
Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called fucking outside
Strongbow and Sea Monkeys
Apr 26th
I had the best birthday party ever last night. Well, technically Sheila had the party FOR me. Sheila throws a great party so I kind of bulldozed her by saying on the air that I wanted her to throw MY party. She’s so great.
I didn’t want a HUGE amount of people, so I was pretty careful to whinny the guest list to just our most entertaining and party happy friends, half of whom didn’t show up. I should have been less discriminating I guess.
I think the people who did show up had fun. I had a blast! It was Hawaiian themed because I actually have a Hawaiian dress. So I got lei-ed and lei-ed people all night. Sheila attempted her first red velvet cake but it ended up being more brown than red. I was happy she tried, despite the end result. Keesha brought SPAM truffles and SPAM in a blanket.
And I got lots of Strongbow. And birthday cards with hot men on the cover. And Sea Monkeys.
Joe Day Tomorrow
Mar 31st
So I’m reposting this for tomorrow.
Joe Murphy, podcaster and XM Radio personality, passed away April 1, 2007 from the rare cancer leiomyosarcoma.
Jack Mangan asks that we make April 1st Joe Day and use pictures of Joe as our avatars and just generally take time to think about our old friend. Feel free to copy this one I made or make up one of your own.
Beatnik Turtle’s song Mason Rocket was dedicated to Joe. There was a sort-of contest on Wingin’ It to come up with a new nickname for Joe because he thought Joe Murphy just a little plain for podcasting. Mason Rocket was one of his favorite choices and when he died our friend Mur Lafferty had this song commissioned.
One of Joe’s favorite songs was Jonathan Coulton‘s First of May, so we podcasters recorded our own cover in memory of Joe. You can listen to that, too.
If you don’t know who I’m talking about, just know you missed out on a really funny, and really nice guy.
Sorry @jchutchins, I was out of town
Mar 17th
Holy Crap! I haven’t really been paying attention to my friend JC Hutchins’ latest project. Not due to a lack of any talent on his part mind you, just my own busy not paying attention to anything kind of life. I missed all the lead-in to this! Shame on me.
Go to JC’s website to get more information. I will now.
I feel so stupid.
7 Things About Me That Have Nothing To Do With Social Media
Dec 30th
Debbie Walker, Social Media Gnat?
Gay, a pushy bitch nice lady I met the other night tagged me with a challenge to list out 7 things about me that have nothing to do with um, whatever it is that people do for a living. She’s in real estate, and Justin (another twitter friend) who tagged her is a mortgage dude, etc.
1. I don’t have a job/career at the moment. I’m a disabled veteran who is lucky enough to get permanent paycheck from the Government to live on. I’m on the lookout for something to supplement my income due to the recent (post incredibly bitter divorce) refusal of my ex to pay his child support anymore. I live in Mesa with my daughter, get out regularly with friends, and spend hours on this computer. Oh and I’m an Atheist, too.
2. I’ve actually spent years around computers. Running a remote computer site at the Pentagon while in the Air Force (many MANY years ago) and from there desktop publishing (shhh, it’s classified) for a couple of different Government contractors in Virginia and Florida. When we moved to Arizona I stopped working (really bad health at the time – I have great drugs now) but eventually got bored sitting at home and worked at my kid’s elementary school for a few years as a Kindergarten Aid, volunteered on the PTO (hitting all the officer positions at one time or another) and put together the entire school’s yearbook by myself.
3. I have three kids and one granddaughter. Casey is 25 and a single father, Max is 22 and currently in the Army in Iraq, and my daughter Ginnie just turned 18 and graduates this May. My granddaughter Kira is a little over 2 and is the light of my life as long as I don’t get stuck with her for days at a time. I was married for 27 years until it all came crashing down over the last few and ended last February.
4. The highlight of my year is to attend Dragon*Con, one of the largest Sci-Fi/Fantasy conventions in the US. I’ve been going for years, mainly to see my friends and sometimes to meet quasi-famous people and bask in their auras. Or something. I’ve met quite a few wonderful people there that have become interesting friends. And yes, a few jerks. I love the adventure, the costumes, the parties, the food (cuz my friend Calla always makes me eat new stuff) and the entire atmosphere of being around like-minded people where I’m not the geekiest person in the room.
5. I’m a faux geek. As compared to most of the people I’ve met in the last few years, I’m maybe an apprentice geek. I like some Sci-Fi/Fantasy books and movies but while I can recognize a few author’s names, I’m not into it all enough to memorize stats on them. I’m a bit more of a Firefly/Serenity fan than the average person (attending multiple movie theater showings and collecting a few related items) but I don’t like, dress up and/or affect a countrified speech or do fanfic. My family thinks I’m a geek. Little do they know. I don’t even read fanfic. I’m also quite a fan of Anne McCaffrey and have collected most of her books and have hung out with her in real life. She’s great but I wish I’d known her when she was younger.
6. I’ve been getting more and more involved in podcasting. I started hanging out during the recordings of a now defunct show called Wingin’ It and eventually become a regular. Now I’m running the mixer and recording equipment for a couple of shows, Evo @ 11 and Gangplank, and I get to do the editing on both. This stuff is so much fun! I’ve attended PodcampAZ for the last two years, helping on the steering committee this year cracking the whip when they’d get off track, and publishing the program.
7. Ooo, let’s get introspective with this one. When I’m out and about I feel thinner and attractive and then I look in a mirror and go “oh yeah, that’s me now – chubby and old.” I don’t think people like me no matter how many times I’m told/reassured otherwise. At most I’m tolerated. I’m sure my low self-esteem is a drain on my friends but I know it’s my issue and they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. Gee, a date might help my self-esteem a bit. Of course, my overactive self-hate gland would convince me someone put him up to it, right? I need psychiatric help. At least I have a great sense of humor! And a healthy (if unused) libido.
Tadah!
I’m supposed to post the rules, so here they are:
- Link your original tagger (Gay Potter – don’t snicker, she’s a nice lady) and list these rules in your post.
- Share seven facts about yourself in the post.
- Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names and the links to their blogs.
- Let them know they’ve been tagged.
And I just can’t wait for these 7 individuals to tell all about themselves.
1. Jack Mangan
2. Sheila_Dee (before Evo does)
3. Tyler Hurst
4. Cherylyn Feierabend
5. Dani Cutler
6. Elizasea
7. Heather Linder… Binder… Biedersomething
Have Fun!
