so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged Florida
She did what?
Sep 4th
I’ve learned a couple of things about old people after being here almost two weeks:
- You must wave at everyone you pass on the road, and talk to complete strangers like they already know what you’re talking about.
- Gossip (the thing look down upon most of your life) is expected now that you have to seriously watch your friends for dementia and odd behavior.
- There’s a certain fascination with watching “The World’s Dumbest…” ALL DAY LONG.
- They’re always cold. Some are funny, some are crotchety, some are pretty cool but they’re all always freezing.
It’s funny the difference between my Mother’s society and my Father’s. Mom’s life revolves around meals/gossip with friends and TV at home. Dad gets out more, hanging at the American Legion a couple nights a week where there’s decent live music and liquor and his Saturday afternoon poker game. Two different approaches to being this age and they’re only a few months and a few miles apart. He just seems so much younger than Mom.
Someone kill me before I get this old.
Sorting Dead Guy Stuff
Aug 26th
So I’m here in Florida again. Mom flew me out here to help her clean out Orc’s stuff. So far we’ve cleaned out their bedroom closet and a smaller closet in the guest room. Weirdly, she has lawn and leaf bags big enough to use as body bags and we’ve filled two with mostly his clothes and some odd linens. There’s another full bag I took out today (dragged, rather) of trash. This morning we worked on their bathroom and gathered another regular trash-bag full of stuff.
This woman has enough shirts in her closet now to wear for an entire year. I cannot get her to sort through her own clothes while we’re at it. All of her paperwork is piled on the dining room table and I’ve been nudging her to plow through it and sort. I cleaned up the far side, but she gets snappy when I try to get “in her business.”
We both remember her saying “Oh, there’s my marriage license” in the last couple of days but now that she needs it (for social security) she can’t find it.
Not quite Hoarders as the rooms are all wide open, but there are the beginnings of piles here, there and everywhere. I don’t even want to talk about the kitchen. Pretty sure every food item is old, old, old because she eats out EVERY meal. EVERY.
But we’re getting along okay. I jumped on her because she often tries to take something out of my hand – like some 74 year old women can carry or move something easier than I can. I made it quite clear that I know when to ask for help and that my EX used to do that shit all the time to make me feel helpless. I hate it. I think she got it so we’re good.
What’s really funny is when she’s Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson it’s all good, but when I make a snide comment she stick up for them and tries to make me feel bad for judging them. I’m going to work on that this week too, though she’s never heard the name Judgy McJudgerson so I need to come up with a different pointer.
Hanging in there.
Vacation: What Else We Did
Dec 14th
Spent a couple of days at Dad’s until I just couldn’t stand the fleas anymore. Poor old guy. For whatever reason they don’t bite him so he didn’t notice how bad it was. I have flea bites on both legs and arms and across my chest. And Casey had to repair the toilet in the back bathroom too. Dad never uses it so the old thing just crumbled from the strain of all of us. Apparently all the guts just disintegrated.
- Dad is watching Hannity. I get extra points for keeping my mouth shut.
We’ve never agreed politically. We just don’t talk about stuff because every time he opens his mouth I cringe and laugh and he’s so damned serious about his opinions! Republicans.
We spent a couple of days at Mom’s too. She mentioned she had a TV in the trunk of her car so Casey tried to install it for her, but she decided that flat screen wasn’t big enough so they traded up. This comes from a woman who is so old school she never even had a VCR. Oh right, there was a new DVD player to hook up too. And what is the only DVD she bought in preparation for it?
- Someone kill me. Mom is jamming to Gaither Gospel Hour Christmas in the Country. Seriously, how did I come from these people?
Mom likes gospel. When the fuck did that happen?
We went back to Dad’s to finish up fixing the toilet:
- My father has provided my children with moonshine. Things are getting more interesting.
Strange night. Dad was uptight that I’d posted that and I tried to explain that anyone who follows me doesn’t care and would cheer them on and that nobody is going to hunt him down for breaking the law. Moonshine law? Who the fuck cares? Casey and Ginnie weren’t impressed by it anyway so after one drink we left. No, I didn’t try it.
As tourists, we went to the beach and watched these guys try to dig out a backhoe that had tipped over. Kira played (hands and feet) in the cold gulf water until she turned blue and we finally left. The next day we went to Mote Marine and saw sharks and turtles, jellyfish and a dead giant squid, manatees and dolphins. Kira’s convinced the dolphins were talking to her. Driving to Mote we passed some sand sculptures that had been there a while. Lots of pictures in my flickr feed so check those out.
Did another elderly breakfast thing. You have to do one of these sometime. You sit at long tables and eat stale donuts while they do park announcements, introduce visitors, sing some old songs and raffle off prizes. Three of them. Casey won $7 and Ginnie and I both won SBA dollars. Luck of the draw! Quaint. Casey went out to Bingo with Mom one night and to a casino on another.
The kids think Mom is great! She’s funny and nice and pays for everything, but they don’t have the history I do. Can I forgive and forget the years of verbal and physical abuse, being told everything I do is wrong and stupid, the sarcasm… and just accept her as she is now? I don’t know. My sister holds a grudge like nobody’s business but when it’s convenient for her she acts like nothing happened. I don’t think I hold a grudge as much as hold people accountable for their actions. If they own up I’m all about forgiveness. Food for thought.
Bill is the same, blows up in nastiness at the slightest provocation, hates black people, yells at Mom over his own inadequacies, etc. She keeps saying this or that food will kill him and I keep suggesting she let him eat whatever the hell he wants, preferably that which will kill him, hello?
- Raining again. The so-called sunshine state has sucked for sunshine this whole trip.
- Son, convinced Krystal is White Castle, has sidelined us in a cheeburger frenzy. After tasting, I’m not impressed.
- Interesting name for a salon: Whack-A-Do.
- 24 miles and we’re in Louisiana. Kids are debating New Orleans on a Friday night. It’s 40 degrees and raining so I vote no.
- 100 miles to Texas. Can’t wait! I just LOVE Texas! /sarcasm
- fucking Texas has the women’s potty locked for the night.
- Found potty. Switched drivers. At mile marker 822 now. *sigh*
- I’ll be passing @aranel13‘s house in a minute, too early again. Should we kill time til she wakes or fuggedaboudit?
So we left for home on Friday. Casey and Ginnie wanted to stay longer but Kira and I were done and it’s my goddamn car. We tried to meet up with @aranel13 on the way back through the Houston area but apparently she sleeps until noon or something. Hey, it was 8am this time instead of the 6am on the way out but still not late enough. We stopped at the Alamo for a while but drove straight through the rest of the trip.
- I miss my friends. Almost out of Texas and should be home late tonight.
- 50 miles to AZ! So tired. Love having multiple drivers.
- Quick shopping stop for fireworks at Borderline Outlet. Guy closed early so I called him and he reopened. Yay Droid!
- Hello Eloy. You look familiar. I do believe we are getting close to home.
- Home.
Road Trip!
Dec 2nd
Yup, we leave tomorrow morning… er, as I notice the time I should say we leave later this morning. As soon as traffic clears, like 9ish. Casey, Kira, Ginnie and I. Max has decided not to go, which doesn’t surprise me. He’s supposed to be looking at houses later this week.
So I’ve been mostly packed all day, most of the food/drink is taken care of, and I got my new DROID phone today so I don’t need a map anymore. I’m just waiting on everybody else.
This should be fun! No really, we’ve always been a road trip family.
Should be fun.
I’ll check in. Or you can monitor my twitter page for updates.
Road Trip!
Nov 23rd
So it’s official. The whole fam damily is going with me to Florida. Semi-spontaneous road trip across the lower half of the USA. We’ll be driving the I-10 over to the I-75 so if you’re anywhere around either of those and you want to meet up for a break let me know this week. It’ll be me and Ginnie and Casey and Kira for sure, Max is still deciding.
They’re giving me shit about my car. Of course, it’s the nicest car of the bunch but it’s still not good enough. Goddam Grand Marquis! It’s a great cruising car!
- *whine whine* there’s not gonna be enough leg rooooooooom! (yes, both of my boys are big/tall)
- *whine whine* we’ll have to stop all the time to get stuff out of the cooler in the trunk! (and stop to let the 3-year0ld move about too)
- *whine whine* It’s a V8 and sucks gas! (sure in the city, but once we’re on the highway it’s no big deal. It hardly took any more than the rental when we took two cars to California.)
- *whine whine* there’s no CD player, just a cassette deck! (fuck you and quitchergoddamwhining)
But I checked out rental cars last night and anything bigger is outrageous. SUV’s are a bit cheaper than Minivans, but they’re all over $900 for two weeks. Getthefuckouttahere!
We’ll leave next Wednesday the 2nd and plan on being back two weeks after that. Maybe sooner, maybe later. Maybe I’ll just dump their whiny asses in Florida and cruise up north alone.
All this why?
Mainly to see if there’s any way to peel my niece away from her no-good-asshole boyfriend so she can maybe get her kid back. There might be ass-kicking. My boys are both big and tall and pissed off about her situation. And while we’re there visit my parents and let everyone meet Kira before she graduated High School. Find out if my sister is ready to speak to me. The kids want to go to the beach. For a change of pace. To get the fuck outta Dodge for a while.
So if there’s anything along that route that we should stop and see we’ll have plenty of time. That’s the fun part of road tripping. Any suggestions? Anybody want to hang out along the way? Let me use their bathroom?
