so don't ask if you don't want to know
Posts tagged casey
Repeat after me:
Jun 1st
“That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”
Not me! I’m fucking brilliant compared to my son and his idiot friends.
First there was the M-girl that was so trashed by the time they arrived in Vegas that she sliced the shit out of the back of her leg while shaving and then passed out cold in our hotel room.
Then there’s my son who disappeared for hours with the only vehicle, coming back late and with an empty tank so CJ and I despaired getting to the airport in time.
Then there was (again) my son who decided to stay with the bunch instead of flying safely home with me.
After that, there was the idiot B who drank beers while driving the van homeward, got busted in Kingman for a DUI and got the van impounded. Because my son was also too drunk to drive and apparently those two of the 6 were the only ones with driver’s licenses.
Those four other people who for some stupid reason don’t have driver’s licenses. How stupid is to NOT have a driver’s license?
The one who called me and got pissed off that I wouldn’t drive up there and save them. From their own stupidity.
(Let me clarify, had they had car trouble or an accident or something else out of their own control, I would have gone to get them.)
Oh, and the drunk ass driver and his wife who left their kids at home with her parents and let the power run out instead of putting extra cash on the m-power. Priorities, right?
They got B out of jail late this afternoon and because the van is in his name they couldn’t get it out of impound before closing time. So they’re stuck there another night.
Life lesson #54. Don’t fucking drink and drive doubledumbass! What a bunch of fucking losers.
Repeat after me: “That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Done being nice
Jan 13th
I’m losing it. I’m so pissed off I could slap the shit out of him. I’m tired of excuses and bullshit and trying not to set him off because he’s so fucking sensitive to criticism. Time to be the screaming mother again.
Why can’t I be done being the screaming mother?
Because he’s staying here for a couple of days, supposedly to use my computer and look for another job, because he’s screwed up at work where he has the best job A. of all his friends, B. that he’s ever had, C. that pays a ton of money and D. that put him on suspension for smoking a cigarette on the property. Possibly losing a job over a god damned cigarette.
Life, he’s just not coping well. He makes good money yet never has any. He’s edgy all the time naturally and now he’s practically vibrating.
He just can’t seem to accept that … as a single parent his personal life is over. That sure, maybe once in a blue moon you might get out and be yourself but for the most part she’s the priority. And it’s not just words. You can’t work all week and then spend every weekend wasted and dragging her around to all your friends for the party.
He’s not neglectful, but she’s got one small not-thought-out bag of clothes with her. Nobody took the time to plan outfits for days away from home, someone just threw a bunch of mismatched clothes in a bag. This is the usual thing. She has plenty of outfits but always looks like an orphan because nobody takes the time to plan shit out. Boots and one pair of tennis shoes with no laces, both sets of shoes too big. Two long sleeve shirts when the days are so warm. Nothing to sleep in. Typical.
Anyway, yesterday he went out all afternoon job hunting (just in case this suspension ends in him getting fired, he finds out Thursday) and came back with Daniel – who is also looking for a job and his wife just just just had their second child – and they tag-teamed my computer all night. Casey finally took Daniel home and picked up dinner, gave Kira a bath and actually sat still with her until her bedtime. Then he went out to another friend’s and was out til at least 2. The living room light was still on when I woke up at two. Sometime between 2 and five I hear snoring out there so I know he’s finally in.
Because at 5 I’m woke up with a crash. I robe up and trudge out there to see what crashed and he’s over in the corner of the living room where at first I think he’s looking out the window but I soon realize he is in fact PISSING. The crash was him kicking her toy tub out of the way so he could PISS IN THE CORNER. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
“CASEY! What the fuck are you doing? Are you so goddamn drunk you’re pissing in my fucking living room? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He is confused and then horrified. He mumbles something about not being drunk (I don’t know, that or sleep walking) and cleans it up.
I can’t scream at him. I have a toddler sleeping three feet away and Ginnie downstairs who has to get up for school in a little while. I can’t have the conniption fit I need to have right now. I want to yell and throw shit and have the knock down drag out bitch session we both need. I’ve been biting my tongue for too long but that’s it. Today he gets it. He can’t keep going like this, like he’s on a tightrope. He needs to accept that he can’t party like a single guy and parent half-assed anymore. He’s been dealt this hand and he’s got to buckle down and be what she needs. Her fucking mother is useless. Last I heard she’s about to dump her two new babies on the state and take off for parts unknown.
I keep fearing any moment now he’s going to dump Kira on me. I can’t do it. I can’t afford to take her on full-time and I certainly can’t do it physically without help. So I need to figure out just how far to bitch and push him without making him just take off and leave her. He knows, he was raised to know what responsibility is, and he’s under the impression that he can have it both ways. No, you can’t and as soon as you accept that, and that and stop partying all the time we’ll all be better off.
Shit.
What is it with these guys? All of his friends. Jake’s wife just had a baby and he has no job and they live with her mother. Daniel’s wife just had their second kid and he has no job and his wife supporting them. Ben’s wife is due any minute with their second and he has no job and they’re living with her parents. Mike is a single parent and they live with his sisters. Chad has a shit job and bitches when he has to watch their 4 kids while his wife works full-time to support them all. And yet every weekend there’s a party somewhere. They all have enough cash for cheap beer and staying up all night.
I’ve tried all my life to avoid being white trash. I’m not starting now. I’m not tolerating this shit anymore. He needs to suck it up and get his shit together. That’s it. I just have to wait until Ginnie leaves for school and Kira is distracted and then I’m jumping in his shit.
I am.
Let's just hope I don't regret this
Jan 3rd
You know, my PC has been slowly falling apart. First the fancy flat screen took a giant dump virtually overnight, so I’ve been using an old monitor Ginnie got from her school. It literally takes up my entire desk. I have it butted against the back and the screen sits three inches from the front edge of my computer desk. Hard to see that close up. AAAANNNNDDD the whole issue of not being able to turn the whole thing off for fear it won’t power back up again. I sleep three feet from this computer that rattles and ticks all night.
But I would die if I didn’t have a computer. Seriously. I neeeeeeed you people.
So recently a friend offered me her laptop. She’d had to send it in for something or other and couldn’t wait to get it back so she went out and bought a new one. Smoking deal I really couldn’t turn down. Really.
I know, I know, I’m broke all the time and have no job, and struggle to pay my bills, and am getting sick of soup and cereal, but it was a smokin’ deal! Priorities, right! I’ve been doing the right thing for a year now and I just needed to do this. I asked if I could get out of my lease and that’s a no-go so I’m stuck with this rent until August.
And now I really have to get a JOB. I know I keep saying that and have even made a half-hearted attempt to clean up my resume and perused craigslist a couple of times. In fact, Evo keeps sending me craigslist ads for jobs for which I am in no way qualified. People keep telling me I should bluff my way but my innate honestly keeps me from applying. Oh sure, I’m a quick learner and I could probably figure out some of these programs as most WP or database programs are pretty similar. I’m not a complete techtard.
Job fairies are as imaginary as Santa and God so I’m vowing Monday morning I’m kicking myself in the ass and doing some serious job hunting. I need a paycheck.
I put myself on Yahoo Personals. I’ve heard a couple of people say they’ve had pretty good luck with it. If I can’t get sex I as least want some company.
Max left a message yesterday and he’s fine.
Casey got a message yesterday that someone had broke into his house and stole his big ole flat screen TV, stereo and new house phone. He still spent all day here and when I got home from #EVFN last night his car is here but I dunno where he and Kira are.
#EVFN you ask? Haven’t I mentioned that to you? What started out as a bunch of local twitter people getting together for Phoenix First Friday (art walk every month), which turned into #PFN dinner/drinks at various locations every Friday night, which morphed into #EVFN for those of us who didn’t want to trot out to Phoenix every week. We select a different location in the east valley and anyone can show up. We’re up to about 25-30 people wandering in and socializing. We keep picking up new people who see we’re having such fun and get them on twitter too.
It’s a good start to a Friday night, and I’ve been going out with my friend twinklergirl after and watching her (and others) do karaoke. I’m | | this much closer to actually getting up and trying it myself. Who knows.
Mini Update
Dec 10th
Child support check is 10 days late. And I can’t find the stupid folder with my divorce papers in it to look up my number to call and find out what’s going on. I’ve torn my frakking desk apart and no sign of it. I just looked that stuff up a month ago, where could I have put it down?
Max called today. He’s in Kirkuk but his girlfriend is still in Tikrit.
Mesa’s museums are free on the first Sunday of the month now, so we took Kira out and about. We had a really good day. Casey’s growing his hair out for the first time since he was 12.
Ginnie backed into a rental car tonight. The business was closed so I made her go back up there and leave a note with her information. She says she couldn’t find a crack around the door to slide it in and didn’t want to just leave it out in the open. It’s just a mark on the fender, so I suggested she go by after school tomorrow.
Not much else going on. Biding my time.
Quick update on the camping thing
Oct 14th
Froze my ASS off. We went just north of Snottsdale by Bartlett Lake and not in a “real” campground. Which meant tree-peeing and plenty of wandering room. The guys spent most of the time taking down and breaking up dead trees for firewood and made a ginormous fire. I guess it’s the group’s favorite place to camp and they’d made a fire pit on previous trips. The kids had a blast getting dirty and I put my tent up all by myself, but ended up sleeping in the backseat of my car because it was so frakking cold. I made a bed for Kira in the hatch and had to get up 4 times during the night to startup the car and blast the heat and cover her back up. Poor baby was shivering. The other family kept themselves toasty by cuddling in their tent. S’mores on the fire and sausage/egg burritos for breakfast!
Fun but never again.
Going Camping
Oct 11th
Overnight.
In the desert.
With #1 Son, Kira, his friend Daniel, his pregnant wife, and their toddler. Maybe Mike and his toddler daughter.
As usual, I’m going into this pessimistically. And stopping for Strongbow on the way.
Seriously.
Grammi will be sleeping in the back of the SUV and wearing a can of insect repellent.
And to top it off, my phone has croaked. Went to get a new battery last night and the battery is fine. The charger port is fucked. I don’t have time this morning to get it repaired or replaced.
Oh Jebus H Criminy Shit
Oct 6th
So Friday morning Casey and I went to this used tire place to get . . . reassurance? He knows a guy who knows a guy and they cut us a break. I’d budgeted $120 for a new tire (for a car I hope to unload pretty damned soon) and ended up paying $25 on a fairly new tire. Except it wasn’t the one “damaged” in my hit-n-run, it was the one on the other side that was so bald there was no tread left. The “damaged” tire we found out was fine once he got it up on a jack. And guess what! My car doesn’t shimmy and grind anymore. For the moment anyway. Now Ginnie can stop angsting about the car.
And here I was thinking I was about $100 bucks up right? No such luck. Ginnie came home from school with a couple of envelopes: one for a class ring and one for her announcements/cap & gown. Order due TODAY. Thanks for the financial warning School people!
On the edge
Oct 1st
I’m seriously thinking about defaulting on this car. I don’t know what else to do. Casey called me today to yell at me to get a new tire. Apparently his father checked it out and there’s a big chunk missing where it was jammed into a strut underneath. Could blow any minute. Fuck.
I got my check today and after paying all my regular bills (except the fucking car payment) I’m left with less than $200. New tire means no birthday present for Kira. New tire means being stuck at home more than I am now. New tire my ass. Car payment will likely be used as a down payment on something else.
Speaking of their father, Ginnie keeps dropping comments that I don’t really want to hear. Only to hope that as long as he’s happier maybe he’ll hate me less and someday we can be in the same room – for the kid’s sakes. She says she wants to ask him for either help getting a car or a new laptop for Christmas. And that he should be able to help her seeing as how his new live-in girlfriend makes big bucks and where could his money possibly be going, etc. I DON’T FRICKING CARE! I don’t ask. It’s none of my business and I don’t want the kids reporting back to him either.
Other than the car, I’ve been having a pretty lucky day. Slept good, great bagel for breakfast, decent sales at the grocery stores, good parking . . . knocking on my wood desk now.
Going to Gangplank tonight to record the Gangplank Podcast and Evo @ 11. I’ve been working on a new intro so we’ll see if Evo likes it. If so, it’ll be on this week’s show. And I’m going hunting for a better word processing/desktop publishing program than MSWorks. Works sucks ass. I’m managing, but I’ve volunteered to do the program for PodcampAZ and I’d like a little more flexibility.
S’all. Mebbe mo laterz.
Weekend Update
Sep 28th
Had Casey and The Screech here most of the weekend, until I had a hissy fit early this afternoon and he took his kid and slagged off somewhere. I’m just so tired of being trod upon. You know how they say the best thing about being a grandparent is you get to hand them back when you’re done? Yeah, I can’t seem to hand her back. Even when he’s HERE he expects me to supervise her the entire time. He stays around long enough to put her in bed (though doesn’t wait ’til she’s actually asleep) then goes out with his buddies until 3-4 in the morning. Then gets irritated with her when she gets up at the normal time in the morning and wants his attention. You’re her father for christ’s sake, play with the kid. She’s sick of Grammi already. And he knows that and gets all apologetic after. She’s two tomorrow and isn’t old enough to get that Daddy A) isn’t a morning person even on his best day and B) still wants to be young and stay out all night. So I alternate snark with blunt-ass comments about what he needs to do.
Her Birthday party is next weekend. Mr. Nice Guy lent quite a bit of cash to an old friend weeks ago and hasn’t seen a return on that since. His next week’s check is clear so he can throw her party then. And Buck is planning on going so I won’t. Let him have the day.
I’m forcing myself to read The Catcher in the Rye because apparently you’re supposed to have read this in school. I didn’t. Please tell me there’s a payoff in the end? This is on my top 10 most boringly pointless books of all time. If this whiny, hateful crap is all there is, how on earth did this crap get published in the first place? I don’t get it. Unless there’s something interesting in the end. I’m about halfway and I’ll really be pissed if nothing happens.
Max called with the latest deployment information. He’s being sent to Camp Speicher in Tikrit, leaving October 17th, spending a week in Kuwait again and then onto the base. Another month maybe until he gets a phone that works there. We’ve been through this before.
Other than this night, I tried really hard not to think about where he was and the increased danger. He didn’t tell me about getting hit by shrapnel and all that until he came home on leave. I don’t dwell on it. There’s nothing I can actively DO so there’s no point in worrying, right?
Except for some reason this time when I DO think about it I’m covered in this HUGE dread cloud. I don’t know why. I totally believe in the power of positive thinking which is probably why I don’t think about Iraq. This time is harder. I didn’t say anything to him, but this time is 10 times worse.
Think POSITIVE thoughts Debbie.
I’ve been wracking my brain about this fucking car. I’m so screwed. It Blue Books at around $4k and I owe over $16k. My credit is already shit, so I’m seriously thinking about defaulting and dumping the damned thing. Someone suggested bankruptcy. Never EVER get a Land Rover. This fucking car has caused me nothing but hassle and angst since I drove it off the lot. It’s been doing that shimmying grinding thing it was doing last year. Yes the parts were warrantied, but I can guarantee you that dealership will fuck me over as much as they can if I take it back. Plus the cheap Tire Pros tires I bought are already getting thin. I’m not picky anymore. I just want a dependable car with A/C (and maybe a decent stereo) that can move Ginnie and I and everyone else who depends on us for transportation. I have to have A/C. I spend way too much time sitting in this car waiting for other people and half that time with a baby in the back.
Can’t think of anything else. Catch y’all later.
Ketchup/Catsup time
Sep 12th
Man this has been a busy and stressful week. I’m sitting on my ASS this morning and not doing SHIT.
Monday Casey called and said he had no money for mPower and could they stay with me until he got paid. Sure, and as soon as Ginnie got home from school with my car, I drive out to south Phoenix and picked up Kira and came home. Then went back out to Tempe to pick up Casey from work at 8. I told him then that I need someone else to take Kira Wednesday. Period. I have stuff to do.
Tuesday morning took Ginnie to school (7:45) and then Casey back to work (10:00), and then picked Ginnie UP from school (12:15) and she watched Kira nap while I ran out to Chandler to Gangplank (2:30) to work on Tyson’s podcast and then ran back home (4:00) so Ginnie could do what she had to do and then back to pick up Casey from (8:00) work.
Wednesday was worse. The same school and work driving and dumping but throw in a visit to twinklergirl‘s music for toddlers class thing. Which kind of freaked poor Kira out, but now that she knows it’s okay this time to run and play and have fun – as opposed to being shushed and calmed down every time she gets rowdy – she’ll have more fun next time. Casey on Monday had arranged for his friend/my neighbor to take Kira from 4 – 9 and reminded them on Tuesday and yet . . . nobody home. I texted a bitch-note to Casey and he tracked them down. They’d forgot. Pissed me off. Finally connected at 4:30 and I sped over to machinegirl‘s new place in Tempe to take her to Gangplank with me. We got there just before 5:30 but they’d started the Gangplank recording without me. Relaxed for a bit, then recorded Evo’s podcast. machinegirl decided I needed to unstress by having ice cream! That worked for a few minutes but after picking Casey up from work and dropping her off at home we hit WEATHER.
So much for unstressing. It poured buckets! Hydroplaning down the US60 alternated between fun and terrifying. We got ahead of it and got home just before it hit here. Hail, sideways rain by the buckets and flooding in the parking lot.
I tried to edit the Gangplank podcast but I was just too tired to make sense of unfamiliar material. It’s tough to shave out stuff and make a shorter coherent cast when you have no idea what they are talking about. Yesterday morning I bitched at Casey and told him I needed at least 2 hours without Kira and he needed to step up and keep her out of my room, which he did. At least I got one job done. Then he decided to send her to another friend’s for the rest of the day. I was too stressed.
On the way some Fucktard just about took off my bumper sliding in behind me and as I turned into the gas station I flipped him off. Then he drove around the building and as he passed me walking into the station he yelled Asshole at me! Then I (using all my pent-up frustration and stress) screamed FUCK YOU at the back of his truck. Casey jumped out of my car ready to kick ass. I took off around the other side of the station to see if he was still around. You seriously didn’t want to fuck with me at that moment! But alas, the pussy was gone, and I was left with a half-dozen very surprised gas station patrons staring at me.
Got Casey to work (11:30) on time, dropped Kira off at Chad’s (I can’t say Chad without a snarl. I used to hate him and his family but he’s much better now) and managed to only be a couple minutes late picking Ginnie up from school. She and I came home to a quiet apartment and I talked her into watching Fame with me. One of my all-time favorite movies, and she really liked it. She and I had been like ships passing in the night with no chance to talk for days! Then she took off and I finished my editing and watched another movie – something with Morgan Freeman as a bad guy and John Cusak – and just chilled out.
Today I’m not answering my phone. Don’t get me wrong, I love Kira and spending time with her, but I need time in there for me and my commitments. Too much time in the car, too much stress of getting everybody where they need to be at certain times, IN the heat with the poor kid strapped in the back seat. She was whiny and sometimes rightly so. Kids need stability and there was nothing stable about this week. And to top it off, Wednesday morning she stepped on an ant hill and had 7 bites on and between her little toes, which she whined and complained about for two days but would go absolutely ape-shit if you tried to put any kind of medicine on them. Even in her sleep. Poor baby.
What a week. Somebody somewhere has GOT to want to get their drink on tonight. Please?
