This is gonna be really long. That’s why all my photos are on flickr and if you want to see them go there.

My car had issues with one of the coils or spark plugs or whatever but I got that fixed and took off. 10 minutes in the car and I decided to go completely off my rocker and head towards areas talked about in those Little House books. I wandered back roads to Sleepy Eye and then Walnut Grove to the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum. That’s where I got this giant chip busted out of my windshield. I don’t even know where the rock came from. Oh well.

From Walnut Grove I went to De Smet where she actually grew up. I stopped by the homestead, but they wanted a chunk of money and a wagon ride to show me everything so I passed. Ended up near Murdo, SD for dinner and then spent the night in the car.

Guy walks in the restaurant and says anyone wanna see a horse? Everyone goes outside. I’m in freaking South Dakota! Horses are unusual?

The next day I stopped at the infamous Wall Drug for (an expensive and not very good) breakfast then toured the place. Bought a nice leather purse I liked for $14. Wall Drug is enormous and completely touristy. Way too much crap.

Wandered through Sturgis and Sundance before heading to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. Breathtaking and way cool. I managed to walk the path around the entire tower (1.3 miles) though I was done about two seconds before I came across the Halfway Point sign. Shit. But I did it and am kind of proud of myself. I decided right then and there to pony up the cash and camp at the KOA at the foot of the damned thing. Had my tent up and shower done by 7 because the campground movie was… can you guess? Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Which was canceled because of this ginormous storm. I should have stashed the tent and stayed in my car! That storm was scary as hell! Lightning and thunder and wind and rain and I’m zipped in the tent and can’t see anything and the wind is gusting and my fat ass is the only thing holding that stupid tent down. It kept folding over on me (no, the stakes disappeared years ago) and I kept picturing myself wrapped up tubal in a polyester tent and sleeping bag. Eventually it passed and I crashed until about 1am when the cold drove me into the car after all. My light AZ sleeping bag isn’t very useful when the temp drops too far.

Next day I headed towards Deadwood, SD for breakfast. I love Deadwood. I could live there if it didn’t get cold in the winter. Then to the Crazy Horse Memorial Monument. Huge museum and a bumpy bus ride to get closer. From there I stopped by Hot Springs but I didn’t do anything.

Blew through Colorado on the major highway. You don’t really see much doing 85 mph. Stopped for the night in Santa Fe at this cute little Silver Saddle Motel, but I really didn’t get to enjoy much because the elevation made it hard for me to breath.  Saturday morning I decided to take another back road home. South of Albuquerque I found the US60 and headed west.

And stopped almost immediately because some little town was having it’s Labor Day parade on the ONLY STREET. I’m stuck behind the last police car disappointing small children because I’m obviously NOT part of the parade. So I blared some George Hrab as loud as I could stand it the whole length of the parade.

You know there’s a tiny town called Pie Town? Right there on the continental divide. I stopped for pie in honor of my friend Mur Lafferty. I’m not really a fan of pie, but I knew if I ever saw Mur again and passed up the opportunity she’d smack me.

And then I was home! Nice vacation but more expensive than I though it would be. I can’t tell you if the car ate more gas because the windows were open the whole time or if it would have been cheaper if the A/C worked. Who knows.

What I do know is, the next time some Fucktard tries to tell me I can’t do something they can just fuck off. I was fine. Better than fine. I did GREAT!

Thinking about my next road trip. Where should I go?

Here’s the deal.

We’re leaving in a bit to go camping. No computer (ack!) and likely my phone will die before the weekend is out because I forgot my car charger in my car.

And my car is at the repair shop because my 7th cylinder is retarded. Let’s hope that turns out to be a slight and only temporary retardation.

Anyway. Tubing, Strongbow, campfire, tents, the whole shebang. Should be fun… right?

Successful camping is when:

• Nobody gets hurt
• Nobody goes to jail
• Nobody wrecks their vehicle*
• There’s still beer in the keg

So, Casey/Jake/Ginnie/that other guy went out early Saturday morning to grab the space and the rest of us didn’t get out there til after 4. Of course, nobody told me we were going that late or I would have done things differently. Last I heard, everyone was meeting at Max’s around 10. Shit, I was there, but for various work/jail/overslept reasons, we didn’t leave til 3 in the afternoon.

We went to Sycamore Creek (33°41’36.07″N 111°32’24.49″W) and had a great open space to set up. Shane’s truck with all the stuff had a bit of a mechanical problem on the side of the road but with a bit of finagling, he got out there eventually. There were 19 of us around a giant bonfire, one keg, three grills, and 6 tents.  And Ginnie’s dog.

I got to shoot a 9mm, didn’t have to cook or be responsible for anything and tried desperately and mostly succeeded in NOT being everyone’s Mother. They all called me Mom, but I didn’t ACT like one.

The few pictures I took with my phone are HERE on Facebook. My real camera died and my DROID, though awesome, doesn’t really take good pictures.

I couldn’t keep my feet warm in the sleeping bag so I didn’t sleep well. I’d taken an extra blanket but Ginnie didn’t bring anything to sleep in so I let her have it. My brand spanking new blow up mattress didn’t fucking hold AIR so that goes back today. Cold out there by the water. Other than not being able to sleep I had a really good time with my kids and their friends. Glad I didn’t take my car as the dirt road out there has been washed and rutted pretty badly by recent rains. Also glad the proposed second night stay was vetoed midway through Sunday morning.

*apparently after I went to bed at 1am a couple of the guys got in a fight and zoomed out in their vehicles. One kid hit a tree, but didn’t really do much damage to his SUV (or himself) but they all came back laughing at his stupidity which ended the fighting part.

Sitting here waiting on Max to call me that he’s ready. We’re all, and I mean ALL and sundry, going camping today/tonight/tomorrow. My family and a bunch of their friends. I’m going as the voice of reason. Me. Yeah.

The plan is to fill the empty KEG waiting in my car, pack up lots of GUNS and head out to the desert.

This isn’t gonna end well.

At least all the children are farmed out to babysitters.

Casey’s birthday was last Wednesday and Max’s is tomorrow so it’s a celebratory drunken festival of fun. Max hasn’t been home for his last few birthdays so he’s ready to party. I might just record certain phrases so I don’t have to wear myself out repeating them.

• Don’t point that gun this way!
• Please put that shotgun further from the bonfire.
• I’ll pass on the beer and eggs breakfast, thanks.
• Yes Officer, we’re insured.

So, if the unforeseen (wait, I see it coming so it’s really foreseen) happens, here is my Last Will and Testament:

• I ain’t got nuthin’ and nobody gets it. Give my crap back to Goodwill.

Wow, that was easier than I thought it would be.

PS If there’s anything on the news, could you record it for posterity?

Froze my ASS off. We went just north of Snottsdale by Bartlett Lake and not in a “real” campground. Which meant tree-peeing and plenty of wandering room. The guys spent most of the time taking down and breaking up dead trees for firewood and made a ginormous fire. I guess it’s the group’s favorite place to camp and they’d made a fire pit on previous trips. The kids had a blast getting dirty and I put my tent up all by myself, but ended up sleeping in the backseat of my car because it was so frakking cold. I made a bed for Kira in the hatch and had to get up 4 times during the night to startup the car and blast the heat and cover her back up. Poor baby was shivering. The other family kept themselves toasty by cuddling in their tent. S’mores on the fire and sausage/egg burritos for breakfast!

Fun but never again.

Overnight.

In the desert.

With #1 Son, Kira, his friend Daniel, his pregnant wife, and their toddler. Maybe Mike and his toddler daughter.

As usual, I’m going into this pessimistically. And stopping for Strongbow on the way.

Seriously.

Grammi will be sleeping in the back of the SUV and wearing a can of insect repellent.

And to top it off, my phone has croaked. Went to get a new battery last night and the battery is fine. The charger port is fucked. I don’t have time this morning to get it repaired or replaced.