I’ve never had anyone physically close to me have cancer, so I really don’t know the hands-on effect on the stricken or those around them. Oh sure, cousin A or far-away friend Z has had it and I get snippets, but to be right there witnessing, helping, supporting? Not so far. A person can only empathize so much from a distance.

My beautiful niece Brittany (Miss B) had skin cancer when she was 16. Of course, with her living in Florida and me being here I had no real connection to that process. And except for the wicked scar in the center of her back she seemed to sail right through that experience.

But just as all thoughts of it fade away, cancer strikes again, as it is wont to do.

Last Thursday I noticed on Facebook that she was in the hospital and within hours she called me to tell me what she knew at the time. She had 3 spots on her lungs – one the size of a tangerine – and they’d scheduled a biopsy for later that afternoon. After a shitload of text messages between me and my kids, calls to my Mom (grrr arg) and a call from my Dad, my (surprise!) sister actually called me. The biopsy was done and another surgery to help her breathe better. Although they have to wait for the biopsy results to be sure, the doctors think this time our Miss B has lung cancer. Inoperable. Plans (apparently) to try chemo and stuff are in the works but who knows how it will all turn out. Don’t tell “our mother” or post anything online right away. Hey, I waited a few days. The last thing she said was Brittany is a strong girl and she’ll come though this just fine.

Well… now… she’s certainly strong willed. When she lived with me we butt heads all the time. But she’s also very sensitive. That girl has had so much shit in her life already. I guess that which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Or as the tattoo across her chest says:

Victory is sweetest when you’ve known defeat

We’re all pulling for her to get through this. There’s not much more we can do at this point. I’m not certain of her health insurance status so maybe at some point we’ll be raising money. I can surely help with that.

Hang in there Miss B. I love you and miss you and wish I could be there to… do something! I can’t do shit across the country, but you’re in my thoughts hourly and I know you’ll fight this as hard as you can.

Me? I just want to punch somebody. The fact that my family has lousy communication skills means I keep up with the news via Facebook status updates. Today she’s in pain and the meds aren’t cutting it anymore.

Shit. Fuck cancer.