Found a note on my door a couple days ago. A two-day notice of intent to enter apparently  every apartment in the complex.

This inspection is for our annual lender inspection and is a mandatory inspection of all apartment homes located within our community. Due to the nature of this inspection, we can not accommodate appointments or reschedule.

WTF? Annual lender inspection is a new one on me. So sometime 9-5 today or tomorrow someone will be inspecting my apartment for what? What would the lender be looking for? Illegal activity? Improper remodeling? Poor hygiene? Hoarders???!!!!!

I’m resisting the urge to attempt a massive deep cleaning. My place is a little messy with little girl stuff as I don’t bother to clean up after the kid unless I’m expecting company of my own. There are 2-3 dishes in the sink and a bag of trash by the door to be taken out. I suppose I could vacuum… fuck that.

The worst part is I have to be dressed. I’m seldom wearing real clothes when I’m home alone because I’m an elderly shut-in. I have “house clothes.” Let your imagination wander.

Bring it on lender inspectors.

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OK, so they came and went. Three guys, one to check if I had all the appliances and that they worked, one guy went in to the bathroom (without the light on) and spent a couple minutes doing I dunno what, and the third guy wandered around looking at the edges of the ceiling in every room with a giant flashlight presumably looking for water leaks.

Seriously, what was the guy doing in the bathroom? I didn’t hear any water running or flushing, but what would you inspect in the bathroom in the dark? He didn’t even have a flashlight. Creepy. And now I have to pee and I don’t want to go in there.