Telling it like I see it
so don't ask if you don't want to know
War? Hot nardly.
Dec 15th
We laugh over the claim every year that non-believers are waging war on Christmas. So here is my collection of recent battles:
Let’s start with Fox’s. Fox is the biggest PITA complainer and yet when they put up their ornaments this year, they were listed as “Holiday” ornaments. Apparently someone got the heads up on it and the page was changed to Christmas ornaments – though I can’t verify because as of this minute you can’t even get to any Fox ornament page. 404 my ass.
(Haha, I get a “potentially dangerous” warning from McAfee when I open Fox News website)
Another uber-religious blowhard, Rick Perry and his family wish you Happy Holidays.
Sure there are minor battles going on all over the country regarding government-sanctioned nativity scenes like this one in Santa Monica and another in Athens, Texas. Some city governments get it and let every religion (or non-religion) put up a holiday symbol but others assume when Atheists ask for equal treatment they’re really at war against Christians. Actually we just want fair and equal treatment for everyone, all or nothing.
The Atheists I know don’t complain about Christmas trees, official or otherwise. In fact, the rumor about the White House renaming their trees Holiday Trees is false. I don’t put up a tree anymore but it’s not for any non-religious reason. I love Christmas Trees, I just don’t have the room or the energy. In fact, Christmas Trees aren’t religious anyhow:
I love decorated houses. When I had a house I went overboard with the lights. I still have a 6ft winter penguin and a cute little inflatable reindeer. I love gift-giving and fellowship, some of the music and most of the other traditions for this time of year. I’ve even visited various nativity scenes (and a live one in Florida) with the kids over the years. The nativity is one of the nicer parts of the jesus myth. Who wouldn’t want to believe in a miraculous child? One of my favorite songs is Mary Did You Know? But to me it’s about as believable as Star Wars legends.
There is no war. People, especially Christians, must be reminded the season is NOT all about them, that’s all.
WTF is wrong with people?
Dec 12th
When did it become normal to change the way you do business because one person bitches? Or to cave to whatever some minority of your customers demands?
Case in point:
Lowe’s pays for commercials during a show called Muslims in America. I’ve not seen the show but I have seen the ads. Apparently Dearborn MI is a hotbed of normal people who happen to be Muslim, right? So they need a reality show? Okay, like an extended version of the …and I’m a Mormon ads. Whatever. Carry on.
Then Lowe’s pulled their ads because The Florida Family Association had their members send a bunch of anti-Muslim emails. BACKLASH blows up. Then some California state senator mentions he might call for a boycott against Lowe’s if they don’t apologize and re-run the ads. Poor Lowe’s. Who knew running a home-improvement empire meant you have to take a stand one way or another on Muslims? All Lowe’s wants to do is make money. I don’t shop there because they are anti-gay (and more expensive than Home Depot) but are they really anti-Muslim too? No, they ran the ads until they were pressured by religious bigots. Makes me wonder if their anti-gay history can be planted in the religious bigot garden too.
Another one: Alec Baldwin supposedly went a little nuts when a flight attendant wanted him to turn off his cell phone and now the flight attendant union wants the American Airlines to pull 30 Rock from the in-flight rotation.
Isn’t that a little much? Social media nightmare there. Nobody give a shit about Alex Baldwin making a fuss except the people who were there but let’s make a huge fucking deal about it.
I keep seeing more and more over-reaction to the squeaky wheel. Why is it companies are bending over backwards to keep the religious people happy? To keep any tiny portion of their customers happy? Just do your damned job and let people decide for themselves.
What happened to personal responsibility? If you don’t want to shop at Lowe’s for whatever reason then don’t. If you don’t want to sleep with people of the same sex then don’t. Stop getting offended over every little thing. Stop blowing shit out of proportion.
Stop trying to make everyone live the way you do.
Personally I don’t even notice which ads run during which shows. I don’t relate the plethora of Ford truck commercials to support of the message of any particular show. And though I have personal boycotts against certain companies I never expect anyone else to boycott with me or take any other action against them. I may provide information as to why I’m boycotting them but the decision is yours.
BTW Chik-fil-a is anti-gay too. Everyone should stop eating there. Seriously.
I’m kidding… but not about the anti-gay thing. If you really want to eat their food I won’t judge.
How to Yard Sale
Dec 4th
I used to yard sale every weekend. The kids can tell you stories! It wasn’t completely wasted time though. I found some treasures and the kids learned lots of lessons about navigation, directions and how to be alert to visual aids on the roads. MY kids don’t get lost and can read a map. I still go out occasionally when the weather is decent.
There are some pointers I’ve collected from wandering around looking for sales:
- Use neon poster board with large clear lettering and giant arrows. When I’m cruising and someone is behind me I can’t slow down to read your over-long sign. YARD SALE and an arrow. Maybe add FAMILY or NEIGHBORHOOD if applicable. Make them all the same color so I know yours from someone else up the next street.
- Put your dog away. Sure, he’s friendly but not everyone is dog people. Keep your kids out of the way too. I’m there to find bargains, not be entertained by your adorable brat or avoid stepping on little monsters.
- Don’t quibble prices on the little stuff. Feel free to negotiate over the big items like electronics and furniture but if I offer $1 instead of your $1.50 on a pair of earrings, just let it go. You’re just going to donate/throw it out if it doesn’t sell to someone so why not me.
- I will not dig through clothing on the ground or covered in cat hair. Fold clean clothing, put like sizes together and use a table. Hang stuff up. Please save my back.
- Price items or as least tables. And when pricing items, remember it’s not what you think something is worth it’s what someone is willing to pay for it. I don’t care if that was Grandma’s favorite doily, I’m not paying $5 for it. It’s a doily. I have no sentiment over your yard sale crap.
- Treat your customers with respect. Say hello. Pay attention when they look like they’re interested in something. Say thank you. You have set up a little store for the day so act accordingly.
I can’t think of anything else at the moment. Hope this helps.
I gave them another chance
Dec 4th
You might remember my first FFRF: The Valley of the Sun meeting where I was less than thrilled. But I was on the mailing list for their Meetup thingy and was invited to this month’s event. It was held at (and in conjunction with) the Humanist Society of Greater Phoenix… in Mesa. And I have two words:
MUCH BETTER!
Okay, well it wasn’t because of the FFRF people, it was because of the Humanist people. I was engaged in conversation by one woman in front of me (whose name I didn’t get) and the couple behind me, the Lindquists. Very nice people. (Though when I asked them exactly what Humanists stood for they really couldn’t say – other than generalities – but made sure afterward that I got printed information.)
The speaker, Ted Cox, was engaging and funny. The presentation (What I Learned at Straight Camp) was clear and informative. He ended with ways to get involved. There was Q&A with requests to speak to him afterward about specifics. Very cool. Exactly like one would want a presentation to be.
Now this was a good experience.
__________
Now about the secular humanists. According to their pamphlet:
We are secular humanists. We have confidence in scientific knowledge and in people – their collaborative nature, intellectual capacity and desire to improve their lives and the lives of others.
We value freethought. We use evidence and open inquiry to understand our world and add quality to our lives. Our ethical values are informed by science and driven by the desire to meet the needs of the people in the here and now. Being a secular humanist means striving to behave decently without expectation of reward or punishment when life ends.
But in talking to the Lindquists (or Lundquists, I can’t remember which) they mentioned how some of their members are still one religion or another. Why? If you value scientific reasoning, how can you believe in any of the bible? And without the bible how can you believe in god? I’d like to attend a few more of their meetings to figure that part out.
Maybe I have found a good group after all.
Conspiracy Nut
Dec 2nd
My upstairs neighbor is a bonified conspiracy theorist. A few months ago I was trapped into a one-sided conversation about Burns Exterminating and his constant battle over some missing items.
I’m too polite sometimes. Really!
Today he knocked on my door with some excitement about our other neighbor paying X-amount less for his rent. Nutso wanted to know what I paid, and though its more than hot guy next door its still less than he’s paying and he’s been here five whole years! THEY should adjust everyone’s rent when the new rate goes down!
*ahem* Right!
Not likely. There are different rates every day depending on floor, location in complex, or the way the bosses balls are hanging. Your amount is the luck of the draw buddy.
Then he went on and on about the utilities and how the rates are set on some obscure criteria rather than actual meter readings. Something about a three month work trip he took and was still charged the same amount for water and gas…
Somebody shoot me. Better yet, shoot him.
Another Parenting Tip
Dec 2nd
Having been a victim of child sexual abuse there’s something I taught my children:
YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE WITH ANY ADULT.
There is safety in numbers. There is safety in witnesses. If your teacher wants to talk to you alone, insist on someone else being in the room. If your principal calls you into his/her office alone, insist on the door being open or another staff member being present. If ANY person in authority wants to see you alone, you have my permission to politely request there be a witness or refuse to comply. If you’re uncomfortable with someone then tell me. If Mr. Whosywhatsis gives you the creeps then you have my permission to avoid him. This includes coaches, cops, church people (when they visited their friend’s churches) or anyone in authority.
There’s no reason to be rude about it unless and until it becomes confrontational. There are ways to protect yourself without being a smart-ass about it. Be calm but firm, and if you get any crap about it insist that I be called in.
Sorry sir, it’s a family rule. Period.
Because you never know. Women have been married to pedophiles and never knew, people have worked alongside these monsters and never had a clue. Children are the least capable of determining character and are easily convinced of a person’s charm until they are backed in the corner and it’s too late. Pedos are slick. They’re masters at being in the right place at the right time.
Those Catholic priests and the people who covered for them. That football coach and the people who covered for him. I just read another article where a manager of child actors has been accused. My uncle was a deacon in his church and has two adopted children – the adoption process scrutiny should have found something but it never did.
Never leave your child alone with anyone especially if they don’t want to be there. If they say they don’t like the babysitter, find another one. If their relationship with an adult suddenly changes, PAY ATTENTION to why. The child may be afraid or not have to words to explain, but figure it the hell out before you let it go.
Yeah maybe I’m a little paranoid. I have cause. All it takes is a few minutes alone to change your child’s life forever.
I ar not stoopid
Nov 27th
This is an open letter to all television and radio advertising morons.
Dear Head-up-your-Asses,
I am sick and tired of most advertising coming out of your little nutshell of a universe. I am not stupid or clumsy, nor are my friends. I didn’t fumble and throw my hands up in the air the one time in my life my garbage bag split. I know how to mop without making a mess and I clean a bathroom without fumbling with 8 cleaners and multiple scrubbers.
This is the Internet age. I can search products and determine which are best for what I need. If you want to get my attention with your adverts, you need to treat me with respect. Give me an ad with your product shown clearly and why it’s better than the next guy’s (if you must).
Stop with the stupid. Stop with the over-dramatic fails. Stop with the obnoxious caricatures.
I will not holiday shop at Target. That woman in the fugly red jumpsuit is not me, nor is it anyone I know. I can’t relate to that character. I don’t want to BE anywhere near that thing that Target is using as their representative. And I love Target, I just won’t support that ad by shopping there until that campaign is over.
I wouldn’t have a Swiffer if you paid me to use it. The advertising turns me off the product no matter how much I would probably like to use one.
Don’t get me started on Mentos. I forbid that in my house, just because of the advertising.
Here’s the thing, I’m not going to buy a Ford truck or a different brand of laundry detergent because of the advertising anyway. I buy what I can afford or on the recommendations of my friends or family. I/we/most people I know tend to shop for what they’ve always bought or what they’ve tried at someone else’s house or what their parents always used. To get me to try something new, you need to give the me bare basic facts why I should.
Easy. Clear. Without trashing me or the other guy’s product.
Oh yeah, can you stop buying multiple commercial time during the same TV program? That just makes me hate you even more. Seeing the same stupid ad over and over doesn’t endear me to you. And you wonder why people are leaving TV in droves or recording shows precisely to skip past the commercials.
Make something compelling with smart people and about the positives of your product and we’ll watch. We’ll share! That Old Spice on a horse guy went viral because it was funny, smart and tongue-in-cheek, not stupid humor. Stop with the stupid, please!
One disgusted consumer,
Debbie Walke
Anne McCaffrey
Nov 22nd
At about 5 p.m. Monday November 21st, 2011, Anne McCaffrey passed away.
I’m writing this now because I want to remember, not link-bait. Just a few weeks ago we were discussing (on StorytellersAZ) heroes and icons and I couldn’t really think of anyone on the spot that I could mourn like people were going on and on about Steve Jobs. When I got home that night it occurred to me that Anne McCaffrey is the closest person to an icon that I have had in my life.
My first AMC book, DragonSong, was given to me when I was in the AF and working late shifts in the Pentagon. I loved it and went on a search for anything else she had written. Over the years I think I’ve read just about all of her stable of stories and own many of them. I’ve always looked in used book stores and at yard sales and I always buy if I don’t already have a better copy.
When I finally got on the internet one of the first places I visited was her website, complete with bulletin boards and a chat room – where I met some of my oldest friends. Come to find out Anne actually visited her chat room just about every day so I got to know her online as a real person. We chatted about everything under the sun and when she mentioned how much she missed Girl Scout cookies, I shipped her some.
I first met Anne IRL at Dragon*Con in 2003. She told everyone at the gather the story of those cookies and how when her sister-in-law was dying, those damned cookies where the only thing she would eat. Holding my hands the entire time, she had everyone in the room in tears.
I saw her again a couple years later, but I couldn’t get back after that.
I will always remember what an interesting woman she was. Bawdy, funny, smart and did NOT suffer fools. What they used to call a spitfire. Most people say her PERN series is their favorite and although I have a dragon tattoo because I love her dragons, my favorite series is the Freedom one. Then the Talent series. Then PERN. Blasphemy in the fandom, I know.
I don’t want to fly dragons, I don’t want to have some cool power and I don’t want to be picked up by aliens and dumped on another planet, because I’ve already done all that. I want to be like Anne was, strong willed and sassy. She’s my hero.
Now I gotta go dig out my AMC books and do some nostalgic reading.
Wow, Bookmans!
Nov 20th
I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t been in Bookmans in what is likely… years. Since the kids are grown and I just don’t have time to read books anymore (or the vision) it just wasn’t on my list. Sure I’d drive by and think I should stop in but I never do.
I will now.
I went today to meet a friend who was having a writer’s group meeting there. Wow has this store gotten so much better. Back in the old days it was kind of dark and smelled like moldy old books but now, wow.
It’s a whole new store.
The same basic principle applies. Gently used books and stuff for sale. But it’s much brighter, cleaner and better organized. And although the children’s section is freezing, they’ve got a ton of kids books and movies, toys and puzzles. There’s a coffee shop with the best damned hot chocolate I’ve ever had. The electronic section is cleaner. And they have albums (remember albums?) and music CDs, VHS movies, entire TV series on both DVD/VHS and old magazines. Even some jewelry and other odds and ends.
And get this, they now have gently used instruments! Which actually made me kind of sad and I don’t know why. A book is a book and you read it and pass it on. But a violin? Someone must have loved that violin and there it is, traded in.
So, if you want a movie – check your local Bookmans.
If you are looking for a specific book, look there first. You want to try to learn guitar? I’ll bet you can find a how-to book, a video AND the guitar right there.
This coming Saturday is all over the radio as buy local day. Go check out Bookmans for your holiday gifting. In fact, go there any time. Take along some of your gently used books or media and get credit towards your purchases.
Who is that again?
Nov 20th
One thing I come across at different events is live performances, either bands or dance groups, whatever. There’s some things I want to point out to these groups.
Actually, its one word: branding.
Who are you? What is your group’s name? How can I find more information on you? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wandered past a band at an event, liked their music and have no idea who they are. There are no programs, and they might have something illegible backlit in the kick-drum, but unless you’re standing right in front of the band (which I never do) you can’t see it.
It doesn’t matter how small you are, or if you only play occasionally on the weekends. If you have music recorded somewhere, you want people to be able to find it. Myspace is full of local music. Set up a Facebook page. Get clever and make your own website. Do something! Have a landing page somewhere with contact information, links to YouTube videos, places to buy/listen to your music, schedule of appearances and whatever else you can think of. Then for f*&k’s sake, get a banner made with your band name clearly visible and the link to your information. They’re not that expensive and will pay for themselves. You can make your own banner or A-frame sign at most FedEx Kinkos or Office Max. Add a QR code! It’s 2011 and everybody has a smartphone. Get something they can walk past and take a quick picture of to remember you later.
It’s not enough to have someone introduce you and mention your name. It’s not enough for you to stand up there and tell people your name. In bars or street events you have people who wander in and out who might be interested in more information about you if it were right there for them.
At every Ignite Phoenix event they hand out a compilation CD of local bands. You could be on that CD if we knew who you were.
It’s your own damned fault if you can’t get any business.
EDIT TO ADD:
Here’s a real example. I went to an event (Desert Bloom, I think) and there was a band called Black Carl. I’m not what you’d call a music lover but I LOVED this band. Sassy woman singer, good music, etc. They had flyers all over the bar with linkage to their online information. I now follow them on Facebook and Twitter and if/when they play somewhere I try to go. I actually PAID FOR THEIR MUSIC because I could find it. And I don’t pay for hardly anything. Just saying.
