Language

Why is it so much harder to fall asleep when nearby conversations are not in English? I don’t need or want or care what to know these workers are discussing but I can’t seem to block them out as well as I could the two English-speaking guys chatting in the very same spot earlier.

Nevermind, they’ve moved on.

Dear Person with the Blue Truck,

Hi. 

You have an AWESOME restored blue pickup truck with an extra-loud exhaust. I’ll bet you’re pretty AWESOME. I’ll bet you even have memorabilia all over your apartment too. AWESOME! I’m guessing everyone in this apartment complex thinks you and your restored blue pickup truck with an extra-loud exhaust are AWESOME too.

Here’s the thing.

We’ve already had more than our fair share of your AWESOME restored blue pickup truck with an extra-loud exhaust. If it wouldn’t be too much trouble we’d really appreciate your toning it down while plowing through our complex. Revving your extra-loud like a Harley on steroids engine while waiting for the gate to open really doesn’t make it move any faster. Roaring through the stop sign only endangers your precious truck and annoys the people who live near the entrance. And squealing your tires just wears them out faster. Trust me, I know tires.

I (we) don’t care how much you show off your AWESOME restored blue pickup truck with an extra-loud exhaust out there on the roads. Roar and rev and squeal until your heart is content but please, please, pretty please remember we all live in this complex and would appreciate a little respect. It’s our home, not your personal race track.

Thanks ever so much,

Resident

P.S. I really do think your truck is cool but you are quite a bit obnoxious with it.

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Okay folks, should I print and stick it under his wiper or do you have editing suggestions?