Telling it like I see it
so don't ask if you don't want to know
She did what?
Sep 4th
I’ve learned a couple of things about old people after being here almost two weeks:
- You must wave at everyone you pass on the road, and talk to complete strangers like they already know what you’re talking about.
- Gossip (the thing look down upon most of your life) is expected now that you have to seriously watch your friends for dementia and odd behavior.
- There’s a certain fascination with watching “The World’s Dumbest…” ALL DAY LONG.
- They’re always cold. Some are funny, some are crotchety, some are pretty cool but they’re all always freezing.
It’s funny the difference between my Mother’s society and my Father’s. Mom’s life revolves around meals/gossip with friends and TV at home. Dad gets out more, hanging at the American Legion a couple nights a week where there’s decent live music and liquor and his Saturday afternoon poker game. Two different approaches to being this age and they’re only a few months and a few miles apart. He just seems so much younger than Mom.
Someone kill me before I get this old.
Oh sweet jezuz
Aug 31st
I’ve been made her executor. Had to be reminded that it doesn’t entitle me to execute her, though the thought has crossed my mind a time or two.
She bought a crap cell from Walmart last year and forgot to buy minutes for about three months. It sits in a drawer. “It’s too hard to figure out!!11!!Y” So I got her a new cell phone and added her to my family account. We’ve spent a few snippy hours going through the basics and I remind her every time we go out to bring it along – to get her into the habit. Tonight she went to the 7-11 for coffee and didn’t take it. I know this because the house phone rang and she was calling me to see if I needed anything – using the 7-11 phone. So now we’re REALLY going through and learning all about the phone.
FRUSTRATION!
Is it really that hard to learn how to use a low-tech, barely a phone cell phone? Am I so over-techie I can’t relate? It’s fucking 2011!
I also let her know she can turn off her computer. She hasn’t touched it since I was here last November but it’s still on and flashing all it’s annoying lights. What a waste. I’m not sure I have the patience to tackle learning the computer too.
BTW, you can’t put a 100 watt bulb in a 60 watt socket and expect it to last long. I’ve swapped out a few around here.
Then there’s the collecting of soda can pull tabs. She has hundreds of people collecting soda can pull tabs for her all over the place. Everywhere we go someone hands her more. I explained about Snopes and how the whole pull tab story is bullshit, but she’s convinced turning them in someday will give someone free dialysis time. Whatever, I’ll let her have that dream.
I’m going nuts here.
PodcampAZ Needs Speakers!
Aug 31st
One of the reasons we love PodcampAZ so much is the endless supply of information. We also realize that the term “media” is growing up, and always expanding. No one rolls their eyes at using Facebook anymore to promote, because everyone links to Facebook! Many companies and freelancers make social media success less of a guessing game and more of a science, but there are many mediums within the realm that are getting less attention than they should.
Right now you’re thinking “Yeah! I want to hear more about ______!” 
So how do we geeks, let alone anyone who isn’t on Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Foursquare, learn about all of these new or under-represented technologies? How do they merge their existing skills with new ideas and make life even more awesome than it all ready is?
They ask you, and your friends. We all use a form of media in some way, or you wouldn’t be reading this now. And we bet you know someone who uses it in an innovative way that we all want to know about. They might not even realize there’s a place to share what they know.
Please help us get all of these questions answered all in one weekend at PodcampAZ 2011 on November 12-13.
Nominate yourself, your work buddy, Twitter or Facebook friend, or even your sister to help out. Each speaker will receive our undying gratitude, an audience eager to learn and a chance to learn from other successful, charming people just like them.
Sorting Dead Guy Stuff
Aug 26th
So I’m here in Florida again. Mom flew me out here to help her clean out Orc’s stuff. So far we’ve cleaned out their bedroom closet and a smaller closet in the guest room. Weirdly, she has lawn and leaf bags big enough to use as body bags and we’ve filled two with mostly his clothes and some odd linens. There’s another full bag I took out today (dragged, rather) of trash. This morning we worked on their bathroom and gathered another regular trash-bag full of stuff.
This woman has enough shirts in her closet now to wear for an entire year. I cannot get her to sort through her own clothes while we’re at it. All of her paperwork is piled on the dining room table and I’ve been nudging her to plow through it and sort. I cleaned up the far side, but she gets snappy when I try to get “in her business.”
We both remember her saying “Oh, there’s my marriage license” in the last couple of days but now that she needs it (for social security) she can’t find it.
Not quite Hoarders as the rooms are all wide open, but there are the beginnings of piles here, there and everywhere. I don’t even want to talk about the kitchen. Pretty sure every food item is old, old, old because she eats out EVERY meal. EVERY.
But we’re getting along okay. I jumped on her because she often tries to take something out of my hand – like some 74 year old women can carry or move something easier than I can. I made it quite clear that I know when to ask for help and that my EX used to do that shit all the time to make me feel helpless. I hate it. I think she got it so we’re good.
What’s really funny is when she’s Mrs. Judgy McJudgerson it’s all good, but when I make a snide comment she stick up for them and tries to make me feel bad for judging them. I’m going to work on that this week too, though she’s never heard the name Judgy McJudgerson so I need to come up with a different pointer.
Hanging in there.
Know
Aug 15th
I’m not an artist. Oh, I can draw a tree or horse and you can tell it’s a tree or horse, but I really can’t draw. I can create a pretty decent elephant out of play-doh but anything more intricate than that and I’m stumped. I have friends who are really good artists – even make a living at it – and although I may not like what they create, I can appreciate the talent that went into it. I try, but I know my limits. You can tell when someone has a talent for art and when they’re just okay.
I can sing but I’m not a singer. I like to sing, but I know I’ll never be really good at it. Some people can’t sing at all, but at least I can carry a tune. There are so many people who sing for the joy of it, and that’s great! The problem comes from people who have an over inflated idea of their own abilities.
I can write in complete sentences and with acceptable grammar. I get my thoughts across fairly well, but this is about as far as I want to go with writing. I know I’m not a writer. I know actual authors, blog writers and others who can and do make a living at it and it takes way more effort (and imagination) than I have the attention span for.
(Yes Charlotte, I know you’re not supposed to end a sentence with for, but that’s how I talk. Can you imagine me saying “for which I have a span of attention” or whatever.)
I know what I’m good at. I’m a good mediator. I know when a discussion needs to end or a compromise should be reached or the subject needs to be changed. I know I’m good at audio editing. I know what needs to go and what needs to stay and how the timing of a conversation should go. I know I’m a good driver. I know how much I can drink before I have to stop. I know I would do whatever I could for my family and friends. I know my memory sucks so if I forget someone needs to remind me. I know I’m a good person.
There are still things I’m not convinced I’m good at. I know I have issues with my self-esteem but I’m working on it. I’m trying very hard to believe people when they tell me good things about myself.
I’m actually trying very hard to decrease my overall negativity. Honest!
I hate that people often say “Debbie ain’t happy unless she’s got something to bitch about.” It seems to me that even though I’ve tried to stop being so negative I’m not getting any credit. Geeze people, give me a break. I’m trying. I know I’m naturally a negative person and I’m trying to change that.
I know my limitations, I know my failings and I know my positives. I’m still working on the in-between stuff.
I don’t need no SEO
Aug 15th
Look, I write this blog because I want to take notes on my life. I write this blog to share my feelings on whatever subject I’m focused on at the moment. I write this blog for me and my friends to communicate.
I don’t really write it for the entire world. If and when the entire world wants to read it, fine. But I don’t really give a shit.
I don’t need to be found. IF I write something interesting enough my friends will share that’s up to them.
So please SEO spammers – STOP BUGGING ME.
I delete your comments. I hate your comments. I may even hate you personally. Fucking people who make money spamming people. As if even though I was smart enough to set up this blog in the scary internet and use it often, I’m not smart enough to go find SEO help among the 10-20 of my friends who DO SEO STUFF FOR A LIVING. In fact, I have an SEO.com sticker on this very laptop that I’m using. I don’t need or want your help, thanks.
So please SEO spammers – leave me the fuck alone.
I hate spammers. Stupid lazy asses. Get a real fucking job.
Fantasy vs fanaticism
Aug 11th
I like happy dragons. The Anne McCaffrey version of dragons and Puff the magic dragon and Pete’s Dragon, but not the Chinese version of dragons full of fire and death. In fact, my first tattoo was of a happy dragon. I love the idea of it. But I know it’s fantasy – there have never been dragons. But it’s fun to imagine, right?
Santa Clause is a really nice fantasy. Fun to believe in when you’re a kid and fun to help kids believe in.
Aliens! Egads, I KNOW there’s no scientific proof of aliens ever actually being here but I think it’s fun to think so. It’s just FUN.
Fairies are fantasy, but that doesn’t stop us – even as adults – from loving Tinkerbell. Unicorns are fantasy, but that doesn’t stop some people from having collections of unicorn art.
Ghosts, gods, superheros, vampires, bigfoot… the fantasy list goes on and on. Somebody made these stories up years ago and they were such good stories we still enjoy them today. What story imagined today will become the next bible or scary campfire tale?
The problem comes when adults believe in these things with such fervor that they base their lives on them. UFO hunters? Ghost hunters? Religious people? Even worse are those people who set up businesses to take money from the fanatics. If you don’t know the difference between fantasy and fact, how can you protect yourself from the shysters ripping you off?
Thousands of people spend money on psychics and horoscopes. Millions of people tithe 10% of their income (or more) to a church. And what do they get out of it? Maybe piece of mind. Maybe hope? Is it worth the cost? Do you know the difference between your fantasy and actual facts? Is there scientific proof or is it all allegorical? Science expects you to get a consistent result when you test a theory. Can you test your fantasy and get the same results every time?
What Did I Do Wrong?
Aug 10th
I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to figure out where I went wrong with my kids. There are certain things you try to teach them while you have them and I thought I did a pretty good job! But my adult children are struggling – not as successful as one would hope.
I taught them to take care of themselves. To cook the basics, clean, do laundry, use thrift in shopping (but not too thrift, some things are worth paying a bit more for) and all those other basic things one needs to survive.
I taught them to help other people. To be aware of others around them and to behave appropriately in any situation.
I encouraged them when they tried new things. I attended every band/orchestra concert, play, and sporting event.
I paid attention to their schooling. I attended every student/teacher conference and helped with homework when I could and nagged them to do it every day. I volunteered at their school and got to know their teachers – at least in elementary school. By middle school none of them wanted Mom around, you know.
Their father taught them by example what work ethic meant. He went to work every day and worked hard no matter how much he hated any particular job. He had job loyalty. He took excellent care of his tools.
I’ll admit when I started parenting I made a ton of mistakes. I was a screamer and a spanker. Poor Casey caught the brunt of my ineptitude. But by the time he was 6-7 I’d settled down and tried to correct my mistakes. Was that too late?
I never coddled any of them. When one got hurt you either shook it off or dealt with it appropriately. (Maybe I should have been more concerned when Ginnie complained about her wrist for days – turns out it was actually broken.)
My kids weren’t spoiled. I laugh at labels (yet Max can’t buy anything without a label on it) but I did manage to keep them in new clothes when they needed them. Paying for college was never an option but we often discussed the military and/or how to get alternative financing.
I taught them to be responsible for their mistakes. I bailed them out of jail, but they were responsible for their fines. I stood next to them in courtrooms. I never gave them money to get out of legal trouble.
I think I was a good example but I listen to other parents gloat talk about how well their kids are doing and I just don’t get it. The law of averages dictates any family has one (not failure, just not as good as they could be) screw-all kid, but none of mine will ever be successful. They will struggle and fight for everything in their lives.
Where did I go wrong?
Beyond Tacky
Aug 9th
I have found the worst, tackiest, most horrible “game” show ever.
Repo Games.
Here’s the gist: Your car is being repossessed. It’s on the damned truck. The Host gives you a choice of answering 5 trivia questions (3 out of 5 wins) and if you win they pay off your loan and you keep the car. If you miss three questions, they take the car. They even raise and lower the lift on the truck as you answer.
Who thought this shit was cool? I’ve had a car repossessed. You kinda know it’s coming but suddenly there they are and you have no say. In my case, Buck had the car at work and they just sat there staring at me until he came home. I wasn’t allowed to call him and was forced to sit outside with my two kids in the heat until he came home and handed the car over. This was 20-some years ago, but I still remember how embarrassed and helpless I felt. I was calm and compliant but if those fuckers had turned it into a game show I would have lost my shit and turned into one of those screaming shrews.
Way to prey on people in a tight spot just for fun. Assholes.
Google -
Aug 9th
I gave Google+ a chance, I really did. I’m sticking with Facebook for now, thanks. Why?
- On Facebook, people have to ask permission (friend or ignore) to see even your most basic posts. If you set it up right, you can choose who sees what, but strangers can’t see and can’t post to your wall. On Google+ the person chooses you to share with and you then have to decide whether or not to allow it or block it. It’s the difference between ignoring the knock at the door vs pushing out the intruder. And Google+ is a glass house.
- When I’m out there perusing articles and I want to share, I can’t find an easy way to share on Google+, yet there are Facebook share buttons everywhere or I can use the share add-on on my browser. (The Google+ share on my browser is dysfunctional.) It might be because it’s too new, but I don’t have the patience for this shit.
- Google arbitrarily deleting/freezing accounts of people using pseudonyms. I know many people who use fake names for various reasons. You want to have a life, but your employer is uptight? You’re an author or actor. Or you have a plain but popular name – Debbie Walker – and you want to stand out as a specific person – spellwight.
Plus, I just don’t understand it. And it’s an ugly Johnny-come-lately.
Maybe I’ll check back in a few months to see if it’s easier to use. I love gmail and google’s search, but their google+ is really a minus for me.
