I’ve been sooo busy. And since I can’t work because I have Kira here all week and the TV is on and the washer is running (for a clean uniform for tomorrow) and the stove fan is on, here I am.

First there was Ignite Phoenix 12 on the 4th, then a bunch of friends of Jack Mangan got together the next day.

My sister got here last Thursday and we and the rest of my family got together that night to work on banners and posters for our Music and Laughter Benefits Brittany thing. Beth got to spend time with my whole bunch. I taught about 40 AmeriCorps kids what podcasting is at Gangplank on Friday and then went to #EVFN. Saturday morning we took a drive out to Saguaro Lake and I wasn’t even tempted to leave her out there. Saturday night was spent getting everything ready for the Benefit so Sunday morning we did NOTHING. Napped even.

Sunday night. Well, I was disappointed but we still made some money. I had hoped for a couple hundred people and we didn’t come close. Maybe it was the location. Maybe it was because it was Mother’s Day (which I don’t give a shit about) or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. My friends Tyler and Katie, Vinessa, Ruth, and Dani all came through with raffle items or promotion. And although some the comics were… local-for-a-reason the bands were pretty good. I’ll admit I didn’t particularly care for the screaming band, but the people that did show up seemed to like them. Oh well. We all walked away determined to try again.

My visit with my sister went better than I expected. There wasn’t any mean or snarky and we had a lot of talks. About our childhood and our parents, our kids and husbands but I never did find the right time to ask her about the big one. We skirted around about the time Brittany was here but I still don’t even have a hint as to why she cut me off for so many years. I haven’t forgotten but maybe I can just let it go for now. I told the kids I would take the high road while Beth was here and I did. Who knows how our relationship will go from here. At least we can come together for Brit.

I’ll tell you what, all those years I worked in Kindergarten our kids never learned a third of the things this kid has learned at Learning Foundation and Performing Arts charter school. The conversations we have!

First of all, they let her in a year early even though she has a late September birthday. She loves her teacher and though I don’t particularly care for the way they’re teaching her to write her letters (some sort of “monkey tail”) everything else is outstanding. She’s bringing home spelling tests (which she aces) with words like this:

• act
• grin
• blue
• Sunday
• five
• six
• rock
• duck
• swim
• picnic

These are not Kindergarten words. In fact, when I worked in Kindergarten we didn’t even DO words yet, just letters and sounds. And next week’s word list includes words like fantastic and and jumping. Who does that at 5 years old?

Plus she has art, music, PE, and Spanish. There are only 7 kids in her class compared to the 20+ kids in the public school where I worked and my kids went to. I have completely revised my thinking that public schools are good enough. I’m excited to see what she learns next. I’m so proud of her.

LAST Sunday I went to a birthday party for my friend Dani at a roller skating rink… and I didn’t fall or break anything.

Wednesday was a great day! My friend Tyler and his wife Katie took me to a Diamondbacks game! We got to go out on the edge of the field and in the dugout before the game. We had great seats and great ball-park food. The Phillies beat the ‘Backs, but it was still fun! He tells the whole story better so click that link. And I still have a bit of cotton candy left!

Thursday morning I met with friends for the monthly #EVTM at one of my favorite restaurants. Then I picked up Kira from school and Ginnie and Jack and we had a nice evening. Spent most of the day Friday with Ginnie and Jack too.

Friday night I went back out with Tyler and Katie to the Phoenix Improv Festival to see my friends Jose and Nina in action. That was fun!

Yesterday, after my weekly meeting with the Ignite Phoenix crew (Yay! Ignite 12 is this Friday Night!) I went downtown to the Capital building and held up my sign in support of Unite Against the War on Women. Then out to dinner with Crystal.

Whew.

Today is starting slow. I had and issue with my cable that started last Friday and the tech came this morning and replaced the box. The problem is, the “new” box keeps rebooting itself. We’re up to 14 reboots since he left about 90 minutes ago. Wait, it just did it again.

I’m supposed to meet friends for breakfast – everyone is waiting on me – and then get my hair colored and meet with the whole family at Max and Krystal’s place for dinner. We’ll see how the day turns out.

Happy Birthday to me!

And the cable box just rebooted again.

I watched on the Today show when People Magazine announced this year’s Most Beautiful Woman. Turns out it’s Beyonce. Followed shortly by this article on Jezebel where the author felt it necessary to point out Beyonce is the first black woman in 9 years…

First, it’s friggin’ People Magazine. PM is like a gossip rag for children. Always politically correct, seldom a bad thing to say about anyone and if they do, it’s usually in a nice way. It’s vanilla. White bread. Light reading for fun. Not the New York Times. Who cares?

Second, Beyonce IS beautiful. Not sure if she’s the most beautiful but whatever. I’m sure PM’s choices were from a very small pool of popular celebrity women. And beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Third is where I have a problem with Jezebel’s article. Here I am, a 50-year-old white woman that has spent her entire life trying very hard not to see people by color. I try very hard to think about people by their behavior and not their skin. I often fail but I’m trying. I’ve never thought of Beyonce as a black woman any more than I’ve thought of Jennifer Lopez as Hispanic. I mean I know they are, but it doesn’t matter, they are beautiful talented women, period.

If people of color want to be treated with the same respect as white people (which is what I often hear) then why do they insist on bringing up the differences every time? Why can’t Beyonce’s cover be celebrated for her looks (as shallow as that is) without bringing up snarky remarks about how there hasn’t been a black cover since Halle Berry – another beautiful woman regardless of her skin color? In the comments of the Jezebel article there is conversation about how light-skinned both of those women are and People Magazine needs to pick a really black woman!

Look, many if not most of us are trying. We’re fighting internally years of ingrained bigotry and trying our best to be better people and treat everyone equally. When is it good enough? How can we continue to grow as humans and treat everyone equally when we’re continually reminded of people’s differences?

I’ve been in this ongoing conversation regarding gay marriage rights. (For your sake, don’t load that in Firefox as it takes forever – try Chrome.) Anyway, it’s your average back-and-forth between the Christians and the rest of the world. Actually, it’s more polite than usual even though I’ve been called an idiot and told I’m going to hell. Here’s a nicer comment:

Hi Debbie Walker, I understand that everyone wants to believe whatever they want to believe, but our constitution is clearly based on Judeo/Christian moral believes. I’m not trying to make the USA look like a Christian country by any means, but the institution of marriage comes from de God of the Bible, the only God, outside the ones we make ourselves to be in our lives as individuals (money, sex, golf, football…). So based on that, Christians have a right to stand for marriage as prescribed by God. We can’t avoid sinning against God, but changing the meaning of what marriage is, or sin is, is going to find opposition. Of course, as in most situations, the ones that oppose are demonized (bigots – homophobics, etc.). I’m not fretting about it. God is still in control, and I don’t fear whatever happens here on earth, in this short life. There is wrong and there is right… you and I know it from within. We can’t go by whatever every minority wants unless their rights are truly violated. At least we can express our opinions about it. I just hope and pray that those that call themselves Christians won’t fight about this. That they would just vote if it comes to it. That they would express their love for the sinners (as they are loved by God as sinners), and be carriers of grace, but most importantly, be carriers of the good news of salvation through Christ alone, who die on the cross for our sins.

And my response. I’m a little bit snarky, not because of his comment but because it’s just another in a series of better-than-thou misinformation that these people really believe:

Gee, it’s funny that way before any mention of your god came along from the aborigines to the American indians, from the pagans to the orientals, every societal group has had some form of marriage – a recognized committed relationship before witnesses. I don’t think you have the monopoly on what a marriage is.

And that’s the fine point. Way before there was a bible for these people to base their entire lives upon, there were societies from the smallest backwoods tribe to massive amounts of say, early Japanese that had never heard of Jesus or the Christian God. And they all had rules and punishments based on just treating each other decently. There were marriages, and punishments for theft or murder, there were various “laws” on property rights and commerce. All of the things that we call civilized have developed all over the globe without knowledge of the Judeo/Christian religions. Amazing! Maybe they had their own gods or maybe they just plain wanted peace and happiness and knew you had to have agreed-upon rules to accomplish that. Thou shalt not kill is not an original thought, y’all.

This one is closer to what responses I usually get:

Bob August: Debbie. Hepatitus A, B and C, HIV and any other STDs in our blood supply. How about the sexual molestation of children by these perverts. Have you ever heard of NAMBLA? “Sex after eight is too late”. They want seven year olds and you want to make them respectable. You deserve to have your children taken by these criminals!

(Bolding mine) So because I support gay marriage, I deserve to have my children raped? How very Christian of you.

Bob Baker: Debbie Walker Are you crazy not affect him it affects the whole country you idot. I am not a church goer but I know what perversion and immorality are. It is un-natural and is perverse.90% of child molesters are gay or lesbian thats a fact, because they are perverse.

People still really believe this bullshit. So I called him on it (as did others) and he doesn’t respond. Typical.

And then there’s the more recent conversation here. This story is about the MAAF (Military Association of Atheists & Freethinkers) asking the USAF to stop requiring bibles be placed in every room in on-base housing because it’s, you know, unconstitutional.

And of course the Christians can’t read and assume the MAAF wants the bibles themselves removed. Sure, it would be nice but that’s unconstitutional too. They just want the requirement removed, right? But the Christians just don’t get it. Over and over the comments are all about Christian oppression. Well, it IS a Christian website and the article is written by one of them so…

When the atheists or even those Christians who believe in the separation of church and state try to keep the comments to the facts, it’s the Christians who always start the name-calling. They can’t keep to the topic! Bringing in homosexuality and Nazis, and how this is a CHRISTIAN NATION! and everyone else should just leave or die or go to hell.

This is America…the founding fathers made this nation on Biblical teachings. The Bible is every part of this great nation. If you don’t like it..there is plenty of other countries out there you might like…and they are not doing near as well as this nation because they don’t follow Biblical teachings. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Actually there are a lot of nations doing well without the overwhelming control of religion. Wander around online and you’ll see comments from Australians, Canadians, and Europeans where religion plays a very small part in their government and every day life.

No matter how many times you politely link to factual documents regarding the founding of our country they just don’t get it. And we usually try very hard not to link to biased websites with our facts. But they always, always come back with either bible quotes or links to bible-based websites.

Talking to these people is like trying to use logic with a 2-year-old in the middle of a temper tantrum. I just don’t understand the mind that has convinced itself the their God has a special purpose for the USofA and that we should all be happy to abide by it.

This is just a sample of the conversations I’ve been in lately. I keep trying to bring logic and reason and they still respond with LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU! But maybe someone does. Maybe I can reach one small mind and encourage it to think. I wish I were as eloquent as some of my fellow non-believers but I keep trying in my own way.

If there’s only one thing in the 1st world that is worse than bra shopping, it’s bathing suit shopping. Why can’t we just go full-on with the sun-is-bad thing and go back to suits that go from knees to shoulders? Why can’t designers come up with something between this:

and this:

You know, something attractive yet covers all those nasty areas of the body: tummy, thighs, back, and what my Grandma always called jodhpurs. Maybe a little V-neck action though? Something women can be comfortable in that doesn’t make them look like shit in one way or another. Let’s face it, only about 10% of women look good in a bikini anyway. If we all agree to this style we’d all be much happier.

Right?

*grumble grumble* Okay, FINE! I’ll keep looking.

Crap. You know humans are gonna get back to this style sooner or later with our ozone layer depleting. Why not now already?

I’ve been told so many things in my life about this so-called heaven. Nobody seems to have any idea exactly what it is but they all seem to agree that it’s a great place.

In heaven you meet up with your deceased loved ones. And then what? What if great-grandma wasn’t such a nice person and you really don’t want to spend eternity allowing her to pinch you when she thinks you’re wrong? What if your 1st husband and your second husband don’t like each other and you’re stuck in the middle forever? What if it’s someone who loved you but you didn’t love? Are you trapped by their side or do you get to wander off. To where?

Everyone is deliriously happy and singing all the time, loving God and praising him… forever. Seriously? Does that really sound like something you’d want to do?

Do people who are born gay and have denied their gayness because they’re convinced they can’t go to heaven if they don’t get to finally be happy gay people in heaven? Or do they have to deny their predisposition forever there, too?

I just don’t see the benefit of the heaven I’ve been told about. Actually, most people who’ve discussed it have talked about getting there, not what it’s like after you’ve arrived. It’s like little girls dreaming about their weddings without a thought to the actual marriage.

Seriously, imagine being in a complete state of bliss every moment for eternity. Imagine the best orgasm you’ve ever had times infinity. You’d be happy for 10 minutes tops. After that it’s drudgery.

You can’t have good without bad. You can’t have interesting without boring. You can’t have life without death and when I die I just want to be done. I don’t want to go to heaven and I won’t because I’m an Atheist and I don’t believe in it so if by some bizarre chance there is one I don’t qualify anyway.

Personally I don’t know anyone who actually qualifies by their own rules. Everyone has a dark side, a prejudice or has committed some “sin” they haven’t admitted to. Some little bible rule they’ve decided doesn’t count or convinced themselves means something different.

So tell me what you think heaven is. I really want to know. What is this place you’re working so hard to get into? What do you expect when/if you get there? What have you been taught about heaven?

Why can’t people be good to each other simply because they should. Not for any heavenly reward but because it’s right. Why isn’t it just okay to have a great life and be done when you die? Do you really need a promise of heaven in order to be a decent human being? That’s so sad.

As I watch the video below and I can admire the beauty of the mountain and the snow and I can admire the fearlessness of the hang gliding skiers. But never in my entire life have I ever had any desire to do any of these things.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I might have once wanted to try water skiing, but never snow skiing. I have a few times in my life watched hang-gliders in awe even back when they were more like kites than parachutes. I think I would have liked race car driving but never four-wheel driving or off-road anything. Some people are born with that adventure gene but I wasn’t. I’m not envious though. I yam what I yam.

It seems those sports where your path is laid out are more my style. The whole leap out into the unknown is where you lose me. But I don’t think it’s fear. I’m not afraid as much as I’m just not willing to trust the unknown path. You hold a gun to my head I might jump out of an airplane but I would never chose to do so. Practicality maybe?

Devil's Tower - September 2010

Didja know that in my youth I rode motorcycles? I wasn’t afraid and I didn’t go 5 miles under the speed limit. I was all-in… on the road. I once got on a dirt bike and it was a completely different thing. I had to ride the “trail” slowly one time before I could have any fun at it, and even then it wasn’t that much fun.

I like to see where I’m going. I prefer pools over lakes. I love to drive on all the back roads but I have no desire to venture off the trodden path.

I think that applies over my whole life. I have a hard time going to new events alone. I have to convince myself to even try new foods. I did venture out a couple summers ago on a long road trip alone. No real plan, just drive and see the country all alone. It was exhilarating, but I still didn’t venture off the path. And I can’t wait to go out and do it again.

I don’t think it’s fear. I think of it as more like practicality. Is the unknown worth it? Maybe to some people but usually not to me. The familiar is comfortable. The new is…

Right there in my reader this morning was Friendly Atheist’s post where he quotes from this video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

They’re bullies. And we know that we people stand up to the bully on the playground — the bully on the playground intimidates, that’s what he does, intimidates people into silence, into fear, into avoiding the bully. And oftentimes the bully is the paper tiger and when the righteous individual who is being bullied defends his or herself and punches the bully in the mouth, guess what, the bully more times than not has a glass jaw, falls down and then everyone on the playground says “whoa, the bully was a weakling after all.”

That’s the secularist left. The secularist left are bullies. They try to bully and intimidate and push religious intolerance and religious bigotry on everyone else.

WHAT. THE. FUCK! Religious people are the bullies in your little scenario.

If you want to compare the ongoing battle between the religious and the secularists, you might want to remember the bully then goes whining to the teacher. You’re whining. Because you can’t bully anymore, your previous victims are fighting back and not starting the fights. You whine because the downtrodden have rebelled. Look in a fucking mirror!

Secularists, atheists and even people who just believe different gods than you have been bullied for centuries. Right now in small towns and communities all over this country people are afraid to admit they don’t believe. They’re bullied in the most despicable ways. Read the stories in r/atheism where people are thrown out of their homes and disowned by their loving parents, they lose jobs, are forced to listen to the preaching and are constantly told “YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOREVER!” Which, actually, doesn’t mean anything to us other than your hate is so strong you would wish this upon another human being. Christian love, my ass.

We’re just punching your bully in the face to protect ourselves. We’re just plain tired of your shit. You have completely over-stepped your boundaries and we’re fighting back. You started it, just like your proverbial bully.

There is no war on religion. You can believe what you want in your churches and homes with people who choose to believe as you. Secularists just want you to keep your beliefs out of everyone else’s life. We’re fighting to stop religious-based legislation. We’re pointing out the fallacies in your “this is a Christian nation” lies. We want our free America back. Stay where you belong and out of our wombs, our bedrooms and our schools and we’d get along just fine.

In my family we have a saying, “Don’t poke the bull.” Eventually the bull gets tired of it and turns on you. Well the bull has turned and you deserve it, so quitcherwhinin.

My friend Mur published this letter to her daughter.

People need to stop and think.

Men need to stop comparing what they think is weak behavior to being womanly. Stop having the mindset that it’s okay to sneer at another man and call him girly names like sissy, pussy, little girl, etc. Girls throw like girls, men who can’t throw just can’t throw. Period. Men who cry are just releasing tension, not acting like a woman. It’s not funny and far more damaging when you use comparisons to females in a disparaging way. You’re just perpetuating the women are lesser humans than men bullshit. Children watch and learn from adults around them and pick up the language and sentiment. If your juvenile need to razz your male friends at any given moment is part of your limited personality then use other words.

Women need to stop treating each other like shit, too.

Why is it okay to call any woman other than your mother, sister or daughter a whore? Men have been allowed and often encouraged to fuck any female they can, but the women they do it with are sluts? What the fuck is that? Women are supposed to “keep their legs closed” outside of marriage but men can cat around whenever they want. If a woman cheats on her husband people’s first thought is she’s a whore, but a man cheats on his wife and people’s first thought is there’s something wrong with the wife and the other woman is a whore. The man holds no responsibility?

Why is there still such a double-standard?

We are all adults. We should be able to make our sexual decision equally. If a woman wants to enjoy a variety of sexual partners that’s her decision, just like a man’s prerogative is his. And what business is it of yours what other people are doing in their beds?

And all this disparaging makes it okay to pay women less for doing the same job as a man?

I have male friends who don’t think of women as lesser beings. They talk to women in business as whole people rather than not a man. It can be done.

It starts with teaching our children stupid terms like girl toys and boy toys. Or games or interests or abilities. We start this early and perpetuate it their whole lives. Why? Why are young girls discouraged from science and math? Why are young boys discouraged from cooking and babysitting? Why is it okay to harass young girls who enjoy sports by calling them tomboys? Why can’t it be girly to be really athletic? Why can’t it be manly to be nurturing?

Most people automatically do this everyday in one way or another and it has to stop. When you hear yourself or someone say something comparing the “victim’s” action as not appropriate to their sex as defined 50 years ago, STOP IT. Train yourself and others around you to stop defining stereotypical roles. Give a little girl a tonka truck or a science kit if she’s interested. Give a little boy a doll or dance classes if that’s what he wants. Stop encouraging your daughter to wear pink if she hates it. Let your son wear it if he wants to. Stop calling women whores and sluts just because they like sex.

Stop treating women like lesser beings, after all you wouldn’t be here if a woman wasn’t willing to have sex, birth you and raise you up. What? Your mom isn’t like other women? Bet me.