so don't ask if you don't want to know
We are family
Hey Buck!
May 22nd
Last night was the last straw. You screwed up your last chance.
I watched her face, at the moment she was happiest and most excited, as she called you to find out where you were. Because I’m such a bitch I wanted to get out of your way so you could come over and congratulate her. And you weren’t there.
I stood there and watched her face as she was told whatever reason you weren’t there. I’ve never seen anyone so crushed in my life. Her face literally fell. There amid all her friends and people who do care about her, she fell apart. Sobbed.
You cocksucking motherfucking bastard of a so-called father. Prick. Asshole. SOB. Useless whiny piece of shit drunk-ass fucktard.
How could you? I know you hate me and I don’t really give a crap. But when you use that as an excuse to fail as a father that’s on you. YOU MISSED YOUR DAUGHTER’S GRADUATION!
I’m no longer going to encourage these kids to call you any more. I’m done taking the high road and biting my tongue and telling them to try and set up visits. Other than a few snide comments on twitter or here I have not been “trashing you all over the Internet.” Stop using me as an excuse for your own failings as a father. Accept responsibility.
You failed and it’s all on you. There are no excuses.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
You Called Me!
May 15th
** The following is an approximated and condensed version of the conversation I had with my mother last night, 1 am her time.
Phone rings, my mother’s ring tone.
Me: Hello?EM: Is Buck there?
Me: Um, no, he’s not available at this number ever again.
EM: Oh, uh, this is his mother-in … er I mean ex-mother-in-law. Do you know where I can reach him?
Me: And this is your daughter if you don’t recognize my voice by now Mom.
EM: Oh shit, you dumbass! What the hell are you doing?
Me: You called me, Mom. And why am I the dumbass? And why are you calling Buck in the middle of the night?
EM: You didn’t call me for Mothers Day so I thought I’d call you.
Me: Bullshit Mom, I talked to you the day before Mother’s Day and you just dialed my number thinking you were calling my EX HUSBAND.
EM: Mumble mumble sleeping pill, how was your Mother’s Day honey?
So I told her how my day went and she moaned about her bad health and Orc’s bad health and the bills and how bankruptcy didn’t help her a lot and how she was up after taking her sleeping pill and making out bills. Blah blah how are all the kids and about Ginnie’s graduation and so forth.
EM: So what did you do for Mother’s Day?Me: Mom, go to bed. And don’t mail out those bills until you double check them tomorrow.
EM: What, you don’t want to tell me what you did for Mother’s Day?
Me: I already did, which is how I know you really need to go to bed.
I never did find out why she was calling the ex. She always did like him better than me.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Weekendy schtuff
Dec 10th
Friday night Casey stayed over. Actually the whole weekend. Anyway, I went to Tempe to pick him up and we went to Ginnie’s restaurant for dinner (yuk) and then out to try and find the kid some shoes she can’t take off every 3 minutes and he and I jackets. I have a pretty heavy flight jacket but this time of year I need layers of lighter clothes. No luck on that hunt.
Saturday morning we got up and we went to a couple of stores and found THE cutest boots for Kira. No, we don’t generally need boots here in AZ, but these were the only things without Velcro we could find in her size. That girl has figured out Velcro. Velcro is LAME. And I found a zippered hoody of my own so I can stop wearing Ginnie’s Shady one cuz I’m just to old to pull off wearing a Slim Shady jacket effectively.
Kira was not fond of the crappy WalMart Santa. Better luck next time. Oh, and I loaded a few more pics on flickr in Kira’s set.
We picked up Eliza (machinegirl) and went to the studio. Casey and Kira came in for a moment and then he took the Kira to see her Mother while we did Wingin’ It. Seriously GREAT show. Very funny.
Anyway, it was reported that the Kira-Mommy visit went well. No fighting, just discussion and we might do the whole thing again next weekend. Eliza got a ride home from someone else (I hope) and we stopped for Pizza in Tempe and came home. Casey futzed around with Kira and after she went to bed he went out with friends.
Sunday? More just hanging out and finally they left and I got some housekeeping done. I’m trying to stay off the computer so much.
Name Dropping
Nov 25th
I never know how much to identify people here and how much is invading their privacy. It’s such a twitchy subject. So I decided I’d go all out and name everyone I could remember and if I piss someone off then I’ll edit.
I went to the awesome housewarming party of Evo Terra and his Lovely Wife Sheila ©.
Damn fine party. There were quite a few people whose names I can’t remember and will never see again from their work and hockey associations and people from podcasting.
TSDivaDani brought her extra-hot and adoring husband, his sister (Veranda, Malinda, Verona?) and her husband* who is an inker. What the hell an inker does is beyond me but that dude was cool and funny. Dani has a great family and now I can vouch Dani truly does have a husband. A very hot husband who actually is a nice guy too.
Then there was TD0013 (Kevin) and his wife “The Admiral” and I wish I could remember her name. She’s a pip. I haven’t seen Kevin since before the pool party in 2006 so I’m fairly sure he doesn’t have a clue who I am.
Of course there was Jack Mangan. Evo and Kevin ragged on the poor guy all night, as guys tend to do, but I got a chance to verify for myself that he’s happy and a certain relationship is going well for both of them. That’s all I wanted to know.
Good eats, drank a couple of Strongbows (and forgot the remainder, oh well) and hours of conversation. I remember vague details about bathrooms, mirrors and junk. I seems to remember being told to shave my crotchal area if I want to attract a man but I really don’t see how that can help in casual conversation. “Hi, my name is Debbie and I’m as bare as a baby! Buy me a beer?” Who knows. I miss talking to Evo. The man has no limits.
* Updated to say that Mr. Inker dude is apparently Al Gordon and he has been Wikied. If he’s good enough for Wiki, he’s good enough for me.
car accident
Mar 10th
My sons were in a car accident today. Coming back from a day at the lake apparently the driver swerved to avoid on oncoming car and drove into a boulder the size of a semi. The little nursey-poo that called me with the usual lack of information sounded pretty chipper so I didn’t let myself get too worried. She’d mentioned one son, and knew nothing about the other and I knew they’d left the house together. CONFUSION.
So I get to Scottsdale’s hospital and Casey’s getting a CT. So I call home to catch hubby and HE says other son Max’s friend called the house and that Max was supposed to be at the same hospital. Trudging back inside (no cell phones allowed inside) I get the security guard (what, no receptionist?) to find out what the hell’s going on. Meanwhile Ginnie is freaking out and I’m trying to remain calm.
Eventually I’m allowed back there and Max is right across the aisle from Casey, both in neck braces and BOTH with very nasty attitudes. They can’t move to see each other, but they keep yelling across the aisle at each other. Buttheads. Max pissed cuz Casey got the helicopter ride and Casey pissed cuz they cut his new clothes off him. Fortunately nothing more than bruises in the long run but there I am again, keeping everyone else calm. Another couple of hours and we all get to go home.
Of course then I lose it, screaming and cussing half the way home – nobody to blame in this instance. Stop for gas and Casey starts wandering around in his hospital gown like it’s the latest fashion, and again at the pizza place. Head injury or just plain idiotness?
They all went out again afterwards. Happy Birthday Casey! Wear a seatbelt this time!
