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We are family
The Rest of the Trip – DC Half
Nov 8th
Yeah, this is long. And confused so bear with me. I’m still recovering but if I don’t get this down I’ll forget even more.
We left Tuesday morning and drove up through New Mexico, Texas, and somewhere in Oklahoma Ginnie took a wrong fork and we decided to go for it. Up through Missouri and Kentucky, a bit of Tennessee and finally Virginia. Ginnie got to see her first massive leave changing, the hills and mountains of the east (they are vastly different than the mountains we have here) and we did plenty of talking. We slept in the car the first night but got a room the second. I didn’t want to show up at my friend’s house smelling too bad. Somewhere in there we had tire issues. Or I thought we did, turns out there was nothing wrong with the tire, just that obsessively checking the pressure and using inferior air pumps made the tire appear to be leaking.
We decided to take the Blue Ridge Parkway up though part of Virginia. Now she understands why I loved Virginia so much. It’s a beautiful state and I wish I could still live there but I can’t deal with the cold. Or as it turns out, the traffic. That started backing up clear down to where I used to live in Stafford and didn’t get any better the rest of the weekend. How do those people deal with it? Loopy roads that pretzel so bad you couldn’t possibly find your way around without a GPS. And my Google Navigator was having trouble!
We got to my friend’s Paul’s house and got situated for the night. I had the asthma attack and the day proceeded as I said in my previous post. After the Rally, we took the train to an Atheist/Humanist meetup and eventually found Brian and Janice and especially Bruce. Ginnie really liked Bruce. I probably should have accepted his invitation in the first place. I think Ginnie would have been more comfortable. Anyway, we got back and watched most of the Rally they had recorded.
Sunday we got up and went back into DC. With the Marine Corps Marathon running most of the roads were blocked so we parked the car and rode the train again. The walk from the Smithsonian station to the Air and Space Museum was hard on me but we did it. Halfway through that we decided to hit the Holocaust Museum too. THAT walk was hell. I swear the cold air was trying to kill me but Ginnie was a trooper and patient as could be.
I think out of the whole trip the Holocaust Museum was the most important. Slow and crowded, but it was slow because everyone wanted to see, read and absorb every panel and display. It was very… moving.
From there we went back for the car and drove back into the city. Found a decent parking space nearby Lincoln and wandered around there. Then down to the Vietnam and Korean war memorials.
Monday morning we packed up our stuff and went to the Iwo Jima thing and then headed to Arlington Cemetery and took advantage of tourmobile. I certainly couldn’t have walked up those hills. Though other than not being able to breathe I felt fine. We visited the Kennedy gravesites and then watched the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns. I’d swear that ceremony was way more elaborate years ago when I lived at Fort Myer. Oh well. At the gates of the cemetery is the Women Veterans Memorial so we went in and looked up my name and there I was. I need to send in more information but the basic stuff is there. I think Ginnie was proud of her old mom.
Then off to Florida.
16 piece personal hell
Oct 4th
I’m frustrated as hell.
SmallChild got a set of Disney puzzles for her birthday from somebody and when it was time to pick out which gifts would live at Grammi’s, the puzzles came here. As far as I know she’s never done puzzles before. Maybe those toddler ones with knobbed pieces that fit in animal-shaped slots. Maybe.
So last night we sat down and tried to put the puzzles together. This adorable and extremely bright child has no spatial awareness. I tried 47 times to explain about edges and corners and looking at the pieces for similar colors and patterns to match them up and SHE JUST DOESN’T GET IT!
She might get two obvious pieces together. She knows what the pictures are supposed to look like. And she’s really good at putting other things together like doll furniture and jewelry kits. She just doesn’t get that the pokey-out part must match up with a holed-out part and that the flat side means it won’t fit in the middle of the puzzle. It’s hit or miss, mostly miss.
And it’s driving me insane. How can an otherwise fairly intelligent child NOT GET IT? And she insists on trying over and over again and won’t play with anything else.
Arrrrrrrgggggg!
Okay, time to be calm and nurturing again. Shit.
How’s about opening those new tubs of play-doh?
Enter Snarky Comment Here
Sep 28th
Oh My Fucking Shit!
So… that girl… you know which one. The female-thing that is technically still married to my son even though she’s on her third family somewhere (Kentucky, how appropriate) across the country.
She finally posted something new on Facebook.
Im engaged to a wonderful man !!!! Oh and i had a beautiful baby boy now hes two months old…. his name is aiden matthew stone
Arrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!
Now the only things I can think of posting in reply are soooo snarky.
- Congratulations! Will you keep this one for more than a year?
- Congratulations! Don’t forget your daughter’s 4th birthday tomorrow, Oh wait, you’ve already forgotten your daughter so never mind.
- Congratulations! Funny how you named him after the one man you’ve been with in the last four years that didn’t impregnate you.
- Congratulations! Guess that’ll be a long engagement considering you’re still married.
- Congratulations! Boys who are abandoned by their mothers tend to grow up and become serial killers. Do him a favor and adopt him out before he becomes attached.
- Congratulations, you fucking white trash whore.
Whew, I think I’m done. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.
Mommy Dearest
Sep 16th
This may be one of my last posts about my evil mother. You wanna know why? She bought a computer.
Wait, I’m still laughing…
Let me start over. Coupla weeks ago she told me she finally bought a cell phone. Which was hilarious at the time because I’d just gotten done talking to my father and he’d finally bought a cell phone. But I was at my friend’s house and I really didn’t get into it with her. So when she called me on her house phone tonight I remembered to ask her about it. Seems she can’t remember how to turn it on. Or what kind of phone it is. Or what kind of extras she has.
Let’s welcome my parents to 2010.
And then she informs me she bought a computer.
“Do you have Internet, Mom?”
“I don’t know, he came over and hooked everything up but you know how fast those things go and I never remember half of what they tell me.”
“Is it a new computer or an older model.”
“Oh, brand new!” And then I got the whole story about some neighbor got it from her kids for Christmas and then got a newer one and sold this one off.
On second thought, I think my blog is safe for a while.
Oh, here you are!
Aug 5th
No I didn’t forget ya, I’ve just been busy and distracted. Here’s how the last week went.
Thursday Mom called to tell me my cousin Jackie died unexpectedly. Well not that unexpectedly as I had noticed she was posting hospital testing comments on Facebook. I feel bad that I didn’t pay more attention before it was too late to commiserate. Apparently she went to her local Michigan hospital thinking she was having a heart attack and they sent her to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. Nine days later she was gone in her sleep. Something to do with Amyloidosis. I’m clueless about what that is.
Friday night #evfn at Whole Foods was fun. LaDawn and I went to Yucca Tap Room but after a drink and a game of pool I pretty much dumped her there. I had too much to do and didn’t feel well anyhow.
Saturday I spent the day packing the last of my stuff and in the afternoon Casey and bunch came over to move the heavy furniture. They said they’d move it all so I left to go have my…
Debbie’s Naked Pool Party. Seriously. Excellent. Party. I had three ciders and no problem getting naked. Good friends, good party and we even recorded a show during it.
I came home to my new apartment to find that no, in fact they did NOT move everything else after all. So Sunday Ginnie and I schlepped back and forth looking for house keys and then finally packing as much crap as I could into my car before Casey and bunch came back to move the rest…
While I drove to Phoenix to bail Max out of jail. Long story I really can’t go into, but I just paid the bail and left him to find his own way home hours later.
By Sunday night – between the moving and the stress and the humidity and the dust – I was really struggling to breathe so I ended up at the VA emergency room Monday morning. I might post more about that fiasco later. A couple of albuteral treatments and I’m just fine.
Monday night I went over to CJ’s to record their show (the first half is about Star Trek TNG/the second half about their life) about our trip together to SDCC.
I think I finally have my new apartment mostly put together. I need a few things like shelves and plug thingies. Most of the sockets in this apartment are two-prong sockets, which poses a problem in our three-prong electronic world. Easy fix, just gotta do it.
Whew, I think we’re all caught up. SmallChild and her cousin are here and we’re watching Ella Enchanted for I think the 615th time.
Broken ties
Jun 13th
If you’ve known me for a while, you know my lack of relationship with my sister. We were never close, but I took in her daughter years ago when they were having issues in her family. Miss B lived with us for two years. When she finally went home my sister stopped talking to me at all. I never knew why, not that it bothered me all that much. Just a small annoyance. Kinda funny.
You remember my trip to Florida last December. Since then Miss B’s life has gotten even shittier. Scumbag Dan is the root of all her problems – though I don’t let her off the hook entirely. She, like her mother, has continued to choose a man over her child. She’d rather live in hell with him than give him up and get her shit together.
Right now they are living with my mother because she’s not strong enough to kick them out. No matter how much everyone in the family yells at her, she can’t seem to put Miss B out on the street and Scumbag is part of the package. There are still constant excuses why he won’t get a job and continues to suck the life out of everyone around him.
Even though Friday they were served with papers that my sister succeeded in legally severing their rights to their child. The final death nell in my opinion. Now Miss B has absolutely no reason to ever dump the asshole and try. There was no reason for that! Beth could raise that baby and do everything necessary without that final cut-off! My (gag) sister has permanently written off her own child at what, 22 years old? WTF!
I… I would never. Even though That Girl has done what she’s done, every time Casey talks about having her permanently/legally removed from Kira’s life I advise not to. Get the stupid divorce and permanent custody, but don’t take that final step. People change. Especially those in their 20s. There is always someday. If a parent chooses to give up their child, that’s their decision to live with. But to take a child away with no hope of ever getting it back or having any right to any contact is too much.
I’m sad for my niece. Someday she may become the person she could be, but she’ll never be whole. I’m sad for my sister who at her age should know behavior is not permanent and cutting people out has repercussions years later. How does she not remember her own history? I’m saddest about that little boy who will grow up in confusion and anger because his family couldn’t stick together through thick and thin. What lessons will he learn from this?
And with my fucked up family, how did I learn that no matter what these are your children? Even at our worst, I never shut the door, I never cut off my kid, and I never would. Yes there are some times you can say never.
Pride in my kids
Jun 9th
I’m very proud of my kids. All of them. Yes I make comments and sometimes talk about this dumb thing or that bad move, but all-in-all my kids are doing well.
Sure, in the grand world their accomplishments might not make a blip. My kids will likely never be professionals making big bucks. Never be doctors or lawyers or ever wear button-down shirts. But you know what? Who cares.
My oldest son is raising a daughter on his own. He gets up every day and makes sure she’s clean and fed, learns manners, gets exercise and not too much TV.
He talks to her and plays with her and makes sure she’s in good hands when he needs a break. This child is never mistreated. I’m very proud of him as a parent. He’s struggling financially because he can’t find a decent job that will pay enough to put her in a GOOD daycare, so he chooses to stay at home and make the best with what he has. No matter how he’s tried to get his life together, he can’t catch a break. But does he give up on his child? No, she’s his life. He’s a better parent to her than I was to him at the same age.
My second child was recently in the Army where he served his country with pride. 
Now he’s taken a job he hates so he can support his wife. They’re living in a house with two other families and still barely getting by. But he’s not angry or bitter. He just keeps looking ahead and making plans for his future.
My daughter is trying. Her dreams have been sidelined for the moment, but she’s taken steps to get back on course. She’s working and living on her own. 
We’re not a dirt-poor family. I’d say we’ve always tried to stay (at least) lower-middle class. We’re not white trash. We don’t go hungry and we keep up our homes and pay our bills. At the moment all of them are free from legal issues and have drivers licenses and insurance. Hey, this is a huge accomplishment from 5-6 years ago.
All three are taking steps to do online college classes starting next fall. I don’t know if they’ll follow through but I’m proud of them for trying.
In my world they are all accomplished. My kids didn’t have advantages. Yes I expect more, but for now I’m proud of how much they’ve grown. They still make mistakes, but who doesn’t? And though the boys have had problems with the law it was never anything serious. Stupid shit but never hurting other people. They’re all GOOD people always willing to help each other and their friends when they can.
I love my family.
Worth the effort
May 18th
Today Kira learned orange slices don’t come into this world politely clean-shaven and in plastic bowls. In real life, they take a bit of effort.
At first she wasn’t sure. Watching me peel the skin off she wasn’t impressed. We chatted about how she usually gets her oranges and I showed her how we did it in the olden days.
“I hafta eat it with my eyes closed Grammi so I don’t see the yukky part.”
Yes it was a happy birthday
Apr 30th
If you didn’t know (and how could you have missed it) yesterday was my 49th birthday. 
It was a back-and-forth day.
Took a shower with no conditioner because son had moved my shampoo/conditioner into the other bathroom to bath Kira the day before and didn’t put them back, and I didn’t bother to check before getting in the shower. Thankfully there was a mostly dead bottle of shampoo in the corner of the shower.
Met up with friends at Liberty Market for #evtm (east valley thursday morning) and got my breakfast for free because it was my birthday! And after a while Jana bought me a hot chocolate.
Went to get my hair colored and it cost me more than I really wanted to spend. Even though I just got my hair cut and thinned, I was charged extra for thickness and length. But it looks good and I didn’t have to do it myself.
Stopped to get a bottle of water. They had a 2 for $2 sale. Cashier charged me $3.64. I handed her $4 but mentioned SALE. She stared at me and said they were already discounted. I mentioned SALE sign and pointed it out to her. She mumbled something under her breath and rechecked the register and grudging admitted I was right, handing me back $3. I didn’t bother to correct her again.
Went to see Date Night using a free pass I’d earned through Moviewatchers.com. Loved it! I’m not much of a fan of the slapstick which Steve Carell (and Jim Carrey and Will Ferrell) tend towards, but this was just this side of that line and hilarious. Saw another preview for Knight and Day and I might like to see that. Not a fan of Tim Cruise either, but he’s pretty good when he gets a part with a sense of humor.
Then to the car wash and oil change. Again, paid more than I wanted but didn’t get upsold into anything more than I went for. Slid over to Gangplank to edit/post Evo @ 11 and got it almost done before I had to leave for dinner.
Met most of my family (and semi-adopted kids) at Joes Real BBQ for (mine was free!) dinner. People rave about this place and I wanted to try it, but other than the to-die-for ribs I didn’t find it all that amazing. Had fun though. Casey did in fact get me a camera for my birthday but it doesn’t work – the flash never flashed – so I’ll have to take it back. He felt bad but it wasn’t his fault. Casey’s luck just sucks.
Mother called to wish me happy birthday and managed to spoil my mood with complaints about stuff she decides to do.
Went to Max’s to play games and drink, but I can never manage to stay there long. Fucking cats. We always have fun but I always have to leave.
So… overall a day.
How to Tame Your Dragon
Apr 25th
But what the hell do you do about other people’s children?
Casey and I took Kira to her first real movie theater movie today. We decided How to Tame Your Dragon looked appropriate and Casey had free movie passes to Harkins so we headed up to AZ Mills. Along with every other human with children in the greater Tempe area apparently. The mall was packed.
We were standing in line and I moved around Casey in time to see the little girl ahead of us lean over and give Kira a mean bullying look. Poor Kira was confused and hurt. Casey and I looked at each other and he said the kid told Kira to shut up. Kira wasn’t even saying anything. What can you do? The parents were busy buying movie tickets and missed the exchange. I wanted to yank the little brat’s ponytail.
Anyway, we bought our tickets and wandered the mall for an hour. I don’t know who was worse, Kira asking for everything in sight or Casey buying stupid stuff every 10 feet. He’d blown 10 bucks before we hit the first corner. Carousels and squishy toys and cookies and icees.
Back in time for the movie and she seemed interested in the upcoming Shrek movie. After a little confusion (she thought we were seeing the Shrek movie) she settled down pretty quick.
I will say this, she didn’t act up. Pretty soon she was in my lap, then Daddy’s then a quick trip to the potty and then she crashed before the kid and dragon became friends. She missed the whole lesson of the movie and chatted about scary fire-breathing dragons attacking us all the way home.
I loved the movie, but we’ll have to rent it for her and skip the scary parts.
