so don't ask if you don't want to know
People are stupid
I just can’t help pointing these people out.
The good, the bad and the ugly
Jan 6th
The good: I traipsed up to Fry’s Electronics and for $14 I got an adapter to hook up my old hard drive to my new laptop so I can recover my files. Doing that now a little bit at a time. It’s not attractive but it’s working.
The bad: My friend Tee Morris lost his wife to… I think the flu this morning. I hope he has local support to help him and his young daughter through this difficult time.
The ugly: After Fry’s Electronics, I went to Fry’s grocery store (no relation) to pick up a few things. I cannot believe how many people take joy in standing around blocking the fucking aisles. I went to push my cart past some fat kid twirling around and he crashed right into me. Stupid Mother yelled at me for not watching out for him. I actually said, “Oh I’m sorry, is he retarded?” Kid was like, 12 years old – a little old to have to watch out for as you might a smaller child.
“No he’s not retarded!”
“Then maybe you should keep the little fucker under control!”
Welcome to the Deadbeat Club
Dec 27th
I accidentally answered the phone the other day and encountered the dreaded bill collector.
May I speak to Gerald?
There’s nobody here by that name.
May I speak to Debra?
This is she.
Oh, but you don’t know who Gerald is?
Yes I do but he’s not available at this number.
Do you know a number where he might be available?
Nope, we’ve been divorced for almost three years and I don’t have a number.
Blah blah blah, she exhausted every question possible about how to located him or if I knew where he was working or how much he made, etc. Then she started in on me and I gave her the barest minimum in responses.
(Here comes the good part.)
She: So after your necessary bills you have about $1000 left over a month so you could afford to make some sort of payment on this debt, right?
Me: Not really, I still have other bills and I do have to eat.
She: Well, what do you spend your money on? Cable TV and Internet? Eating out all the time? You could go with the basic plans and save money and stop going out and wasting money.
Me? Seriously? You’re suggesting I sit in the dark and eat Ramen so I can afford to make payments on a vehicle I no longer have? What kind of good-effort payments did you have in mind?
She: Even $25-50 a month would go a long way in clearing up your credit.
Me: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE TO PAY OFF $14,000 WITH $25 A MONTH PAYMENTS? I’d be dead of boredom and starvation long before the first grand was paid off. No thanks, my credit is so far down in the crapper that the world’s best plumber couldn’t dredge it up.
She: So I should just put you down as refusing to negotiate?
Duh.
My position on being a deadbeat: It’s the business or bank’s responsibility to NOT give me credit. If they’re careless enough to throw away their money, why is it my responsibility to give it back? And with interest? What a rip-off! I made enough car payments to pay off the actual price of that car. It’s not my fault they chose to apply my payments to their interest scam first, and then when the car exploded and got ran over and repossessed it wasn’t worth enough to get the rest of their money. Price of doing business, yo.
Now with people it’s different. I hand someone money and I never expect to get it back, then when I do it’s a bonus, right? If someone hands me money and it’s a loan, I pay them back as soon as possible. (Thanks Mom, did you get my check yet?) People are people and I don’t renege on people. Just businesses.
Anyway, I told her not to bother calling me when she got further down the list and found the loan on his truck that we defaulted on too. Let it go beyotch, we ain’t paying. Blood out of a turnip and all that.
Hey, something new!
Aug 29th
This is interesting. What an elaborate and completely bizarre way to mine your credit card information! Props to the person who thought this up and heads up to those gullible idiots who will fall for it.
I got an Care2 eCard from Secret a minute ago. My first thought was bullshit but then I figured what the heck, let’s check it out. I clicked the link and there was a beachy painting with lovers at the bottom, followed by this note:
DebbieHi Debbie… This is difficult for me to do because Im shy..but I have a crush on you. Ive never been able to tell you for reasons which you would quickly identify as obvious if you knew who this was. With that said I want you to guess who I am and approach me yourself.
To help you out with your guessing I made a few pictures and videos with Debbie written on my body. Theyre kind of risque photos so I had to made a profile at www.newsafesecure.com (copy & paste or type www.newsafesecure.com into your web browser). My username in the members area is DebbieandME09. Its a free website but you might need a CC or Debit to verify your age because I had to. Sigh.
But anyway sign up at www.newsafesecure.com and once you are inside search for me. I want you to guess who I am and then approach me yourself. Im shy and this is the bravest thing Ive probably ever done but you need to do the rest.
Kisses
Secret Admirer
Pshaw. There’s no way in hell I’m going any further. Oh sure, you might need to enter your credit card information so they can charge you $X-amount for the next 6 months until you get it killed, just to find out you’ve been suckered.
And on the off-chance that this is legit (hahahahahaHAHAHAHAHA) Secret should just send me a regular email so I can slap the shit out of you for being so scared of me. I’m looking for someone to admire me! And in the meantime, look up when to use an apostrophe.
Kisses
Debbie
P.S. I don’t pay for my porn, thanks.
Short-Shorts? Really?
Aug 19th
Apparently the major gossip discussion on the “news” channels is Michelle Obama’s clothing choice for her recent visit to Arizona. Seriously?
First, those are not short shorts. Mid-thigh is not short. If you can’t see the cheeks of her ass hanging out the back, they’re regular shorts.
Secondly, if you’ve never been to Arizona in summer you shouldn’t have an opinion. She’s dressed for comfort, especially when outside for an extended length of time. What should she wear hiking the Grand Canyon? A designer gown and high heels? That’s ludicrous.
And lastly, who the heck cares? That’s the problem with having multiple 24-hour “news” stations. Not enough substance to talk about that you need to fill your time with nonsense?
Michelle Obama has grace and style when she needs it. Why is it such a big to-do when she chooses appropriately? If she shows up in this ensemble for a state dinner then you stupid people can bitch.
My Meandering Mind
Jun 29th
I’m getting excited about my trip to Minnesota. I got the laundry done and most of my stuff packed. I may have to use the bigger suitcase.
I talked to the people at the new apartment and apparently my credit sucks so I have to come up with a bit more security deposit. The date is still on, August 8th. And I’ve decided there’s no way this carpet will ever get clean so I’m sure these guys will take replacement costs out of whatever deposit I may have had coming here. Oh well. EVENTUALLY money will loosen up.
I finished a couple of books last week. My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler was first. My friend CJ suggest it. It’s just a slightly amusing play-by-play of this woman’s one night stands. But about halfway through it just got boring and stupid. I mean, one amusing story at a time is cool, but this just goes on and on. I finished it. The other book was Seth Harwood’s Jack Wakes Up. I met Seth a couple of times (and we twitter) and he was in town Thursday for his book signing so I figured I’d get his book. I went and we all hung out after. He’s another podiobooks.com author. I’ve completely given up on listening to podiobooks. I can barely keep up with the regular podcasts I like, much less get involved with an ongoing story.
I cleaned the nail polish off my toes last night and freaked at how long my nails had gotten. Don’t have a man around to bitch about getting poked.
I have a bit of a dilemma regarding ThatGirl. You know she skipped town with her twins and ended at a homeless shelter in Indiana. She’d ran after the wrong man online. I heard she dumped her year old twins with his Aunt and now has signed them over. The aunt is adopting one of the girls and her cousin is adopting the other, so at least they will still have a connection. My dilemma is, I feel I should contact this family and give them Kira’s basic information so if in the future those girls want to find their sister they have something to start with. I’m not sure if I should leave well enough alone… or stick my nose in. There’s no telling what the future holds and how often Casey will move and change addresses and phones so if there’s to be an information exchange it should be now. For the kids’ sake. Then again, at the rate ThatGirl pumps out babies and then abandons them, there might be a whole litter out there in a few years so why bother.
Speaking of not having a man around. I don’t know why. I get out. I socialize. People seem to like me. I have (married or too young) men friends but I can’t seem to find or interest an available guy for me. Geeze, I don’t want to get married I just want companionship or even an occasional date. I wish someone could just tell me what I’m doing wrong.
I’ve had three different bites on my Dragon*Con tickets, yet no follow through. How hard is it to paypal $70 and your address to my email? Today if not sooner. Really, stop saying you want my ticket if you aren’t prepared to do it right now.
I think my ex-husband got married last week.
Has-been celebs have been dropping like flies in the last few weeks. I think Americans give their celebrities way too much attention and it climaxes with their deaths. Hours and hours of TV retrospectives and gossip mongering. Okay, David Carradine died jacking off, that’s all we need to know and maybe a quick replay of his credits before winning the Most Bizarre Finale Award. We don’t need 1,867 headlines of piecemealed out “information” repeated so often that the actual facts (if you ever find them) get lost in the noise. But that was just a warm-up for the whole Michael Jackson drama. Seriously, doesn’t anyone remember the child molesting? When he bought and paid for his children and dangled one over a balcony other weird shit we’ll never know about? Until the kids get old enough to write their own stories, that is. Although the man was one of the most talented pop songwriter/dancers in our history, he was FUCKING CRAZY. Yeah, I cut him the eccentric artist slack for a long time, but the scales were too unbalanced at the end. Maybe now the rest of his family will find some other tit to suck on. Probably Janet’s, she sure likes to put it out there.
Okay, I’m done for now. I really need to get stuff organized. Later…
Vegas, the final day
Jun 5th
It just occured to me that I forgot to finish that series of posts.
Saturday I tried to sleep in, I really did. I think I lasted until 9ish. Got up and packed up, got everyone else up and packed and went downstairs to replace the room key/players card I’d left in a machine the night before. I forgot to mention about the 45 minutes I sat in the elevator lobby waiting for Casey the night before because I’d lost my key.
I’d won a t-shirt with my player’s card, and wasted another $20 in the machines waiting for CJ to check out of her room and come over. We headed over to the all-you-can-eat-all-day buffet and had a nice brunch. And gambled some more. CJ had a lot better luck than I did, doubling her money, but I think we both eventually walked out losers. Went up to the pool deck to hang out for a while, then back to eat again.
I was so tired exhausted all I wanted to do was sleep or go home. Not a lot of sitting places in Vegas. Our ride to the airport showed up late, didn’t know how to get to the airport, stopped for gas on the way and got us lost AT the airport. Son’s dumbass friend. We should have took a cab, seriously.
Weird that I’d bought my plane tickets a week before CJ and we still ended up sitting next to each other. Casey chose to ride home with his friends so his seat was empty between us. And a really hot guy sat in front of me. He was a good sport with our teasing and flirting.
And then Ginnie was late picking us up from the airport.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Repeat after me:
Jun 1st
“That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”
Not me! I’m fucking brilliant compared to my son and his idiot friends.
First there was the M-girl that was so trashed by the time they arrived in Vegas that she sliced the shit out of the back of her leg while shaving and then passed out cold in our hotel room.
Then there’s my son who disappeared for hours with the only vehicle, coming back late and with an empty tank so CJ and I despaired getting to the airport in time.
Then there was (again) my son who decided to stay with the bunch instead of flying safely home with me.
After that, there was the idiot B who drank beers while driving the van homeward, got busted in Kingman for a DUI and got the van impounded. Because my son was also too drunk to drive and apparently those two of the 6 were the only ones with driver’s licenses.
Those four other people who for some stupid reason don’t have driver’s licenses. How stupid is to NOT have a driver’s license?
The one who called me and got pissed off that I wouldn’t drive up there and save them. From their own stupidity.
(Let me clarify, had they had car trouble or an accident or something else out of their own control, I would have gone to get them.)
Oh, and the drunk ass driver and his wife who left their kids at home with her parents and let the power run out instead of putting extra cash on the m-power. Priorities, right?
They got B out of jail late this afternoon and because the van is in his name they couldn’t get it out of impound before closing time. So they’re stuck there another night.
Life lesson #54. Don’t fucking drink and drive doubledumbass! What a bunch of fucking losers.
Repeat after me: “That was a stupid irresponsible thing to do.”
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Alltel means what exactly?
May 31st
It sure as shit doesn’t mean Allover Telephone… or anything close.
Alltel does NOT have coverage in Las Vegas. Las Fucking Vegas! One of the biggest tourist cities in the US, and I roamed the whole time.
Alltel does NOT have coverage on the entire island of Oahu. Goddamn Honolulu! Again, one of the top tourist places in the US.
Check out their “coverage map” if you can see it. Isn’t that special. Can’t enlarge it, can’t get anything specific, and their color options make it impossible to see the actual differences.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t have service in Atlanta either. Can’t remember.
I did find a way to run Internet on my laptop through my mobile (something called PdaNet) and it worked okay, but at roaming prices it would have probably been cheaper to get the WiFi from the hotel. Guess I’ll find out when the bill is due.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Hey Buck!
May 22nd
Last night was the last straw. You screwed up your last chance.
I watched her face, at the moment she was happiest and most excited, as she called you to find out where you were. Because I’m such a bitch I wanted to get out of your way so you could come over and congratulate her. And you weren’t there.
I stood there and watched her face as she was told whatever reason you weren’t there. I’ve never seen anyone so crushed in my life. Her face literally fell. There amid all her friends and people who do care about her, she fell apart. Sobbed.
You cocksucking motherfucking bastard of a so-called father. Prick. Asshole. SOB. Useless whiny piece of shit drunk-ass fucktard.
How could you? I know you hate me and I don’t really give a crap. But when you use that as an excuse to fail as a father that’s on you. YOU MISSED YOUR DAUGHTER’S GRADUATION!
I’m no longer going to encourage these kids to call you any more. I’m done taking the high road and biting my tongue and telling them to try and set up visits. Other than a few snide comments on twitter or here I have not been “trashing you all over the Internet.” Stop using me as an excuse for your own failings as a father. Accept responsibility.
You failed and it’s all on you. There are no excuses.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
Slumber Parties by Shauna
May 2nd
This is no reflection on the very nice lady who hosted the party. I think her name was Sherry. I’m so bad with names though I’ve met this woman once or twice before. She apparently does daycare during the day so there’s toys and kids stuff everywhere, which completely clashes with her husband’s empty liquor bottle collection as decoration. Not to mention the dead dear staring balefully out at us all.
So, Slumber Parties by Shauna was the event of the day. Okay, Shauna was polite and pretty and after telling us how she got into the business, she had a run-down on her private vocabulary for our private parts. What’s wrong with words like clit, vagina and anus? We got headlights, front door, doorbell, and back door.
After transporting us back to 1952, she started describing their products. Lubes and mists all including this mysterious thing called pheromones. Just Like Me Lubricant, Nympho Niagra, X-Scream, and Lime flavored Lickity Stiff. Coochy stuff? Like a Virgin to tighten your front door and Anal Eaze to deaden your back door, but don’t mix them up! Funny how the tubes look exactly alike.
OMG every time she mentioned anything anal you’d think anyone interested in THAT STUFF was crazy. Yet her most animated sales pitch, complete with hands and knees on the floor and wriggling, was in describing when you might need Anal Eaze. And nobody thought I was serious when I asked if the dildos were dishwasher safe.
Yes, I bought some non-silicone lube, something called Diva Dust so I can get sparkly when I go out, and a non-sex gift for my friend.
That was fun. I just wish I could have tweeted more. It was funnier as I went along but every time I started texting I made the poor girl nervous.
- Would it be tacky to twitter during a Slumber Party? Sex toys!
- The big hair girls are here.
- she’s using code words for private areas.
- This one woman is fascinated with the Tickle His Pickle book.
- Wet spot dehydrator in a can.
- Spread it around the edge of his helment and down the back of his soldier. Who writes this script?
- She didn’t think my dishwasher safe question was all that funny.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
