so don't ask if you don't want to know
Personal
Personal stuff about me and my family.
New Business Cards
Jan 17th
I got my new business cards yesterday. What do you think?
Okay fine, technically they’re not business cards. My moo-cards, while adorable, had outdated information on the back and I needed to get something new. Bite me.
I probably shouldn’t have designed/ordered them so late at night when I was tired. I like them, but I probably should have leaned a little more to the professional side. Or not.
Did I mention I’m a little lost in this going-int0-business-for-yourself thing?
Really? How?
Jan 11th
The latest thing is posting just your bra color on facebook which may or may not have started as a Victoria Secret catalog suggestion. Rumor has it that morphed into using the idea to open discussions on breast cancer awareness. It’s all bullshit. We’re all well aware of breast cancer by now.
How exactly does posting your bra color of the day do anything to fight against breast cancer?
Remember all those green washed avatars to support what was it, Iran? How exactly did that make a difference?
The blacked-out avatars at least was a visual clue to whomever was looking that many people were aware of that particular political topic. IIRC it had something to do with copyright laws and screwing people over. At least that did something.
Then there’s the ribbons on your cars. There’s a variety of available ribbons for every friggin’ cause out there. Supposedly if you buy an actual ribbon some of the money goes towards that cause. I’m not sure how accurate that is. But photo-shopping a ribbon on your stupid avatar doesn’t do squat.
Just because it’s so easy to “show your support” of a particular cause it doesn’t really mean you are actually supporting the cause ya know. Stop paying lip service and make some effort.
The next time you’re all fat and happy and say you support X-cause-of-the-day I want to know how. Did you give blood? Donate to cancer research? Send a care package to the troops? Write an actual letter to a politician?
Really? Then stick THAT on your avatar.
My Friend Tee Morris
Jan 9th
He’s one of the most generous men I’ve ever met. 
When our podcasting friend Joe Murphy died, Tee was the front man for the website and podcast, first to raise money for Joe’s family and then to help fight leiomyosarcoma.
Tee was a founder and one of the first authors to give away their audio books at podiobooks.com. He’s been recording and giving away his work since.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s also trying to sell his published books. I really like his Morevi series but Billibub Baddings is my favorite. He and Evo wrote the original Podcasting for Dummies.
Plus, he’s a hell of a DJ. And adorable. And sometimes annoying with all that energy. I could bring up positives about Tee all day.
But with the recent passing of his wife Natalie, he’s now also a single father. The community has come together to help him in one of the few ways we can:
We can help take some of the financial pressure off Tee in raising Sonic Boom. Believe it or not, authors aren’t rolling in it. Hopefully we can be as generous to Tee as he is to us. I’ll be donating as soon as I can.
So if you have a few spare bucks you can send along to someone who will definitely need them please do so.
18 Months
Jan 4th
18 months ago tonight was the last time…
I’ve stopped looking. I certainly don’t expect anything that serendipitous to happen again, nor anything more average either. I’ve been hit on exactly once since then if you don’t count my long-lost friend who lives across the frakking country. I don’t expect anything to happen there either. It’s a nice thought though.
You know what I miss most? I miss skin. I miss naked tactile contact. I was never much of a hugger before but now I am, and I think it’s a sub-conscience substitute for that more intimate contact. I think that might be what I miss most about being married… freedom of touching.
My last little encounter, while pleasant, wasn’t even close to good – fast, fun, and other than it being situationally interesting, forgetful.
So what’s wrong with me? I get out and socialize. I’ve stopped actively hunting and being quite so obvious about my needs. I’m clean and not that fat. Everyone tells me they like me, I have friends, and even the occasional meaningless flirtage. But I can’t seem to connect with anyone. I just don’t get it.
What the hell am I doing wrong?
I got it!
Jan 1st
Hang on… I think her name is Crystal or Kristen or Christine or something like that.
Shit. I’m awful.
Duh me! Look her up on Facebook!
Her name is Krystal!
Went out with a whimper
Jan 1st
Jezuz christ, the last few days of 2009 were certainly eventful.
Except Christmas. I got nothing for Christmas but the flu. Then again, I didn’t get anyone else anything either. I may have even had the HiNi flu, I dunno. There was a moment in there I would have gone to the emergency room had I the energy to shuffle out to my car.
So for New Year’s Eve Eve (Wednesday) I decided to take everyone out to Texas Roadhouse. We’d not had a Christmas Dinner, or much of a Thanksgiving either. My number one adopted son Shane and his daughter tagged along too. We had a really great dinner and I agreed to take the two little girls home with me so they could all go out. Peachy.
Yesterday morning the girls and I went to McDonald’s for breakfast and play. They were fighting and whiny and I couldn’t get either father on the phone. Came home and tried to do my business while they continued to fight and whine. Finally at noon the guys stumbled in to get them.
Shortly after that I got a text from Max asking what I was doing the rest of the day.
- Making a dump cake
- Cleaning my kitchen
- Taking a nap to prepare for being up late
- Wrapping the two lousy gifts I managed to get for my friends
- Shower and dress up
- Be at ShEvo’s by 6:30 to record a show
- Party the rest of the night
Not much right? He responded:
can u take an hour outa that and spend it with me? we r gonna get a courthouse marriage today and id like you to be there
WHAT THE FUCK?
Sure his divorce was final earlier this week and I knew he’d been spending most of his time with Shane’s sister… OMG I can’t remember her name! Shit. My bad. I’d only met the girl through a dark car window one time. That’s it. She seems nice enough and I love Shane so I can assume with the same upbringing… I dunno, I’ll have to wait and see, right?
At least I got to be at this wedding. That’s the same judge that Max, Shane and Casey have all stood before for not-so-good reasons but I didn’t see a flicker of recognition in his eyes. Small town.
Anyway, on to Sheila and Evo’s for our recording and their party. I’d had trouble since the flu with my breathing whenever I exerted myself and it just got worse and worse all night. By midnight I was being a downer in a really great party and in real guppy distress and my friends were all offering to drive me to the hospital. Fine. I asked Katie and Tyler cuz I have to go downtown Phoenix to the VA and I know Tyler lives the closest and Katie lives near me so it wouldn’t be as inconvenient – plus they hadn’t been drinking.
Technically it was after 12:30 by the time we got to the ER and 3:30 when got home, but I’m just going to chalk it up as 2009 not letting go. More on that later.
2010 has GOT to be better, right? I feel great this morning!
Welcome to the Deadbeat Club
Dec 27th
I accidentally answered the phone the other day and encountered the dreaded bill collector.
May I speak to Gerald?
There’s nobody here by that name.
May I speak to Debra?
This is she.
Oh, but you don’t know who Gerald is?
Yes I do but he’s not available at this number.
Do you know a number where he might be available?
Nope, we’ve been divorced for almost three years and I don’t have a number.
Blah blah blah, she exhausted every question possible about how to located him or if I knew where he was working or how much he made, etc. Then she started in on me and I gave her the barest minimum in responses.
(Here comes the good part.)
She: So after your necessary bills you have about $1000 left over a month so you could afford to make some sort of payment on this debt, right?
Me: Not really, I still have other bills and I do have to eat.
She: Well, what do you spend your money on? Cable TV and Internet? Eating out all the time? You could go with the basic plans and save money and stop going out and wasting money.
Me? Seriously? You’re suggesting I sit in the dark and eat Ramen so I can afford to make payments on a vehicle I no longer have? What kind of good-effort payments did you have in mind?
She: Even $25-50 a month would go a long way in clearing up your credit.
Me: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE TO PAY OFF $14,000 WITH $25 A MONTH PAYMENTS? I’d be dead of boredom and starvation long before the first grand was paid off. No thanks, my credit is so far down in the crapper that the world’s best plumber couldn’t dredge it up.
She: So I should just put you down as refusing to negotiate?
Duh.
My position on being a deadbeat: It’s the business or bank’s responsibility to NOT give me credit. If they’re careless enough to throw away their money, why is it my responsibility to give it back? And with interest? What a rip-off! I made enough car payments to pay off the actual price of that car. It’s not my fault they chose to apply my payments to their interest scam first, and then when the car exploded and got ran over and repossessed it wasn’t worth enough to get the rest of their money. Price of doing business, yo.
Now with people it’s different. I hand someone money and I never expect to get it back, then when I do it’s a bonus, right? If someone hands me money and it’s a loan, I pay them back as soon as possible. (Thanks Mom, did you get my check yet?) People are people and I don’t renege on people. Just businesses.
Anyway, I told her not to bother calling me when she got further down the list and found the loan on his truck that we defaulted on too. Let it go beyotch, we ain’t paying. Blood out of a turnip and all that.
Illness Update
Dec 24th
As if you care.
Okay, some of you care. Thanks!
Anyway, as of right now I don’t feel any congestion in my chest, though deep breaths ache and coughing hurts – which is typical with chest problems and asthma. Hopefully that will pass. My lower back still feels as though a hatchet is embedded across it and the coughing jerks me around and I wanna scream, but I have no voice left from coughing and moaning.
I just need a really good cough medicine, and Dayquil ain’t cuttin’ it anymore. Must send GirlChild out for some supplies.
Last night I planned on going to the VA this morning to see what they can do for me, but the very thought of getting dressed and dragging my ass out to the car and into the hospital depresses me. I dunno whether to go to their emergency room or to my regular clinic for a walk-in. Either way, I just don’t want to.
I miss Kira. Casey came by the other day and she stayed on the other side of the room and looked at me with huge eyes. “Get better Grammi so I can hug you.”
I don’t have any Christmas plans. Traditionally we have pizza on the Eve and open one present, but I haven’t shopped yet. The trip to FL was my present to the kids, but I wanted to get something for Kira. We haven’t done anything special for Christmas Day in a few years. The kids have always had significant others they wanted to spend the day with. At this particular moment I just don’t care. Take pictures and call me later.
Very Bah Humbug.
I'm siiihiiihiick
Dec 21st
I can’t stop shivering though I’m wearing long Johns and in bed under my heaviest comforter. I’m Dayquilled cuz I’m out of Nyquil.
Can’t stop coughing and my throat feels like fire. My chest feels like Smallchild is sitting on it and I can’t get a decent breath.
Wanna pass out. Wanna call paramedics. Want this damned medicine to kick in.
This typing thing is actually helping. Takes my focus off my breathing and slows it down. Stops the panic.
Hey the shivering stopped. Still cold tho. Getting sleepy.
Is this the hini flu?
Hope tomorrows a better day.
trying to post from droid
Dec 20th
Today was a great day…
Other than my laptop being completely fucked and pulling something in my lower back.
Took Kira to breakfast with Santa.
Got some of the outside decorating done.
Went to another “Slumber Party” and didn’t spend a dime.
Went to karaoke at Kirk’s with good friends.
Made it home safe.
Also got the car checked and oil changed this week for $5.
Found the free computer here at the complex to use.
Sent the money to Mom that I owed her.
Got hit on at Kirk’s by some guy who I probably wont call.
He seemed like an OK guy, just jobless and living in downtown Mesa, which usually sends up a “halfway house” vibe. There’s a pretty large contingent of pedophiles and other sex offenders living in downtown Mesa. But the attention was a little ego boosting.
G’night.
