so don't ask if you don't want to know
Amusing and/or interesting
Stuff other people might find funny or just mildly interesting.
I gave them another chance
Dec 4th
You might remember my first FFRF: The Valley of the Sun meeting where I was less than thrilled. But I was on the mailing list for their Meetup thingy and was invited to this month’s event. It was held at (and in conjunction with) the Humanist Society of Greater Phoenix… in Mesa. And I have two words:
MUCH BETTER!
Okay, well it wasn’t because of the FFRF people, it was because of the Humanist people. I was engaged in conversation by one woman in front of me (whose name I didn’t get) and the couple behind me, the Lindquists. Very nice people. (Though when I asked them exactly what Humanists stood for they really couldn’t say – other than generalities – but made sure afterward that I got printed information.)
The speaker, Ted Cox, was engaging and funny. The presentation (What I Learned at Straight Camp) was clear and informative. He ended with ways to get involved. There was Q&A with requests to speak to him afterward about specifics. Very cool. Exactly like one would want a presentation to be.
Now this was a good experience.
__________
Now about the secular humanists. According to their pamphlet:
We are secular humanists. We have confidence in scientific knowledge and in people – their collaborative nature, intellectual capacity and desire to improve their lives and the lives of others.
We value freethought. We use evidence and open inquiry to understand our world and add quality to our lives. Our ethical values are informed by science and driven by the desire to meet the needs of the people in the here and now. Being a secular humanist means striving to behave decently without expectation of reward or punishment when life ends.
But in talking to the Lindquists (or Lundquists, I can’t remember which) they mentioned how some of their members are still one religion or another. Why? If you value scientific reasoning, how can you believe in any of the bible? And without the bible how can you believe in god? I’d like to attend a few more of their meetings to figure that part out.
Maybe I have found a good group after all.
Conspiracy Nut
Dec 2nd
My upstairs neighbor is a bonified conspiracy theorist. A few months ago I was trapped into a one-sided conversation about Burns Exterminating and his constant battle over some missing items.
I’m too polite sometimes. Really!
Today he knocked on my door with some excitement about our other neighbor paying X-amount less for his rent. Nutso wanted to know what I paid, and though its more than hot guy next door its still less than he’s paying and he’s been here five whole years! THEY should adjust everyone’s rent when the new rate goes down!
*ahem* Right!
Not likely. There are different rates every day depending on floor, location in complex, or the way the bosses balls are hanging. Your amount is the luck of the draw buddy.
Then he went on and on about the utilities and how the rates are set on some obscure criteria rather than actual meter readings. Something about a three month work trip he took and was still charged the same amount for water and gas…
Somebody shoot me. Better yet, shoot him.
Another Parenting Tip
Dec 2nd
Having been a victim of child sexual abuse there’s something I taught my children:
YOU NEVER HAVE TO BE ALONE WITH ANY ADULT.
There is safety in numbers. There is safety in witnesses. If your teacher wants to talk to you alone, insist on someone else being in the room. If your principal calls you into his/her office alone, insist on the door being open or another staff member being present. If ANY person in authority wants to see you alone, you have my permission to politely request there be a witness or refuse to comply. If you’re uncomfortable with someone then tell me. If Mr. Whosywhatsis gives you the creeps then you have my permission to avoid him. This includes coaches, cops, church people (when they visited their friend’s churches) or anyone in authority.
There’s no reason to be rude about it unless and until it becomes confrontational. There are ways to protect yourself without being a smart-ass about it. Be calm but firm, and if you get any crap about it insist that I be called in.
Sorry sir, it’s a family rule. Period.
Because you never know. Women have been married to pedophiles and never knew, people have worked alongside these monsters and never had a clue. Children are the least capable of determining character and are easily convinced of a person’s charm until they are backed in the corner and it’s too late. Pedos are slick. They’re masters at being in the right place at the right time.
Those Catholic priests and the people who covered for them. That football coach and the people who covered for him. I just read another article where a manager of child actors has been accused. My uncle was a deacon in his church and has two adopted children – the adoption process scrutiny should have found something but it never did.
Never leave your child alone with anyone especially if they don’t want to be there. If they say they don’t like the babysitter, find another one. If their relationship with an adult suddenly changes, PAY ATTENTION to why. The child may be afraid or not have to words to explain, but figure it the hell out before you let it go.
Yeah maybe I’m a little paranoid. I have cause. All it takes is a few minutes alone to change your child’s life forever.
I ar not stoopid
Nov 27th
This is an open letter to all television and radio advertising morons.
Dear Head-up-your-Asses,
I am sick and tired of most advertising coming out of your little nutshell of a universe. I am not stupid or clumsy, nor are my friends. I didn’t fumble and throw my hands up in the air the one time in my life my garbage bag split. I know how to mop without making a mess and I clean a bathroom without fumbling with 8 cleaners and multiple scrubbers.
This is the Internet age. I can search products and determine which are best for what I need. If you want to get my attention with your adverts, you need to treat me with respect. Give me an ad with your product shown clearly and why it’s better than the next guy’s (if you must).
Stop with the stupid. Stop with the over-dramatic fails. Stop with the obnoxious caricatures.
I will not holiday shop at Target. That woman in the fugly red jumpsuit is not me, nor is it anyone I know. I can’t relate to that character. I don’t want to BE anywhere near that thing that Target is using as their representative. And I love Target, I just won’t support that ad by shopping there until that campaign is over.
I wouldn’t have a Swiffer if you paid me to use it. The advertising turns me off the product no matter how much I would probably like to use one.
Don’t get me started on Mentos. I forbid that in my house, just because of the advertising.
Here’s the thing, I’m not going to buy a Ford truck or a different brand of laundry detergent because of the advertising anyway. I buy what I can afford or on the recommendations of my friends or family. I/we/most people I know tend to shop for what they’ve always bought or what they’ve tried at someone else’s house or what their parents always used. To get me to try something new, you need to give the me bare basic facts why I should.
Easy. Clear. Without trashing me or the other guy’s product.
Oh yeah, can you stop buying multiple commercial time during the same TV program? That just makes me hate you even more. Seeing the same stupid ad over and over doesn’t endear me to you. And you wonder why people are leaving TV in droves or recording shows precisely to skip past the commercials.
Make something compelling with smart people and about the positives of your product and we’ll watch. We’ll share! That Old Spice on a horse guy went viral because it was funny, smart and tongue-in-cheek, not stupid humor. Stop with the stupid, please!
One disgusted consumer,
Debbie Walke
Anne McCaffrey
Nov 22nd
At about 5 p.m. Monday November 21st, 2011, Anne McCaffrey passed away.
I’m writing this now because I want to remember, not link-bait. Just a few weeks ago we were discussing (on StorytellersAZ) heroes and icons and I couldn’t really think of anyone on the spot that I could mourn like people were going on and on about Steve Jobs. When I got home that night it occurred to me that Anne McCaffrey is the closest person to an icon that I have had in my life.
My first AMC book, DragonSong, was given to me when I was in the AF and working late shifts in the Pentagon. I loved it and went on a search for anything else she had written. Over the years I think I’ve read just about all of her stable of stories and own many of them. I’ve always looked in used book stores and at yard sales and I always buy if I don’t already have a better copy.
When I finally got on the internet one of the first places I visited was her website, complete with bulletin boards and a chat room – where I met some of my oldest friends. Come to find out Anne actually visited her chat room just about every day so I got to know her online as a real person. We chatted about everything under the sun and when she mentioned how much she missed Girl Scout cookies, I shipped her some.
I first met Anne IRL at Dragon*Con in 2003. She told everyone at the gather the story of those cookies and how when her sister-in-law was dying, those damned cookies where the only thing she would eat. Holding my hands the entire time, she had everyone in the room in tears.
I saw her again a couple years later, but I couldn’t get back after that.
I will always remember what an interesting woman she was. Bawdy, funny, smart and did NOT suffer fools. What they used to call a spitfire. Most people say her PERN series is their favorite and although I have a dragon tattoo because I love her dragons, my favorite series is the Freedom one. Then the Talent series. Then PERN. Blasphemy in the fandom, I know.
I don’t want to fly dragons, I don’t want to have some cool power and I don’t want to be picked up by aliens and dumped on another planet, because I’ve already done all that. I want to be like Anne was, strong willed and sassy. She’s my hero.
Now I gotta go dig out my AMC books and do some nostalgic reading.
Wow, Bookmans!
Nov 20th
I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t been in Bookmans in what is likely… years. Since the kids are grown and I just don’t have time to read books anymore (or the vision) it just wasn’t on my list. Sure I’d drive by and think I should stop in but I never do.
I will now.
I went today to meet a friend who was having a writer’s group meeting there. Wow has this store gotten so much better. Back in the old days it was kind of dark and smelled like moldy old books but now, wow.
It’s a whole new store.
The same basic principle applies. Gently used books and stuff for sale. But it’s much brighter, cleaner and better organized. And although the children’s section is freezing, they’ve got a ton of kids books and movies, toys and puzzles. There’s a coffee shop with the best damned hot chocolate I’ve ever had. The electronic section is cleaner. And they have albums (remember albums?) and music CDs, VHS movies, entire TV series on both DVD/VHS and old magazines. Even some jewelry and other odds and ends.
And get this, they now have gently used instruments! Which actually made me kind of sad and I don’t know why. A book is a book and you read it and pass it on. But a violin? Someone must have loved that violin and there it is, traded in.
So, if you want a movie – check your local Bookmans.
If you are looking for a specific book, look there first. You want to try to learn guitar? I’ll bet you can find a how-to book, a video AND the guitar right there.
This coming Saturday is all over the radio as buy local day. Go check out Bookmans for your holiday gifting. In fact, go there any time. Take along some of your gently used books or media and get credit towards your purchases.
Who is that again?
Nov 20th
One thing I come across at different events is live performances, either bands or dance groups, whatever. There’s some things I want to point out to these groups.
Actually, its one word: branding.
Who are you? What is your group’s name? How can I find more information on you? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wandered past a band at an event, liked their music and have no idea who they are. There are no programs, and they might have something illegible backlit in the kick-drum, but unless you’re standing right in front of the band (which I never do) you can’t see it.
It doesn’t matter how small you are, or if you only play occasionally on the weekends. If you have music recorded somewhere, you want people to be able to find it. Myspace is full of local music. Set up a Facebook page. Get clever and make your own website. Do something! Have a landing page somewhere with contact information, links to YouTube videos, places to buy/listen to your music, schedule of appearances and whatever else you can think of. Then for f*&k’s sake, get a banner made with your band name clearly visible and the link to your information. They’re not that expensive and will pay for themselves. You can make your own banner or A-frame sign at most FedEx Kinkos or Office Max. Add a QR code! It’s 2011 and everybody has a smartphone. Get something they can walk past and take a quick picture of to remember you later.
It’s not enough to have someone introduce you and mention your name. It’s not enough for you to stand up there and tell people your name. In bars or street events you have people who wander in and out who might be interested in more information about you if it were right there for them.
At every Ignite Phoenix event they hand out a compilation CD of local bands. You could be on that CD if we knew who you were.
It’s your own damned fault if you can’t get any business.
EDIT TO ADD:
Here’s a real example. I went to an event (Desert Bloom, I think) and there was a band called Black Carl. I’m not what you’d call a music lover but I LOVED this band. Sassy woman singer, good music, etc. They had flyers all over the bar with linkage to their online information. I now follow them on Facebook and Twitter and if/when they play somewhere I try to go. I actually PAID FOR THEIR MUSIC because I could find it. And I don’t pay for hardly anything. Just saying.
About those billboards…
Nov 14th
Don’t get me wrong, the signs are GREAT! I kind of have a problem with the locations though. The whole point is to raise questions and get people thinking, right? Who exactly? The churchy people, right? So why are the three billboards 
I’ve found so far is such shitty locations?
First one, the one on Apache Trail east of 80th St in Mesa. Surrounded by old fix-it shops and a block away from Castle Boutique. Not a great stretch of Apache Trail. Not a church or even a neighborhood in sight.
The second one I found at Dobson south of Main in Mesa, in front of some furniture store, actually on (what appears to be) railroad property. Swell. And I can’t think of a church within miles. Also not a family neighborhood. Mostly stores and industrial-type businesses. The only people who will notice it are the ones trapped by trains, and as seldom as trains roll through there, that’s not much.
The third one is only slightly better. It’s on Southern east of Country Club and right outside of Mesa’s only roller rink. Children. Get kids thinking. But it’s actually on crammed on railroad access facing the other way and there are giant palm trees blocking it until you’re right on top of it. I have NO idea how often trains roll through there to stop traffic.
Were these locations decided upon by the local FFRF people or by Clear Channel? Are the locations designed to comply with posting them but in the most non-offensive places available? Why not along the highways? Why not closer to actual neighborhood full of soccer-mom traffic? Why not outside of a major mall or giant shopping center? We certainly have enough of those in Mesa.
Only the Chandler Heights/Arizona Ave billboard is within my normal driving area so I likely won’t go looking for the rest. Maybe someone closer to them can scope out the actual locations and let me know. Are any of them in good locations?
In the valley:
Southern, 2,640 feet east of Country Club, south side facing west.- Chandler Heights Rd., 1,375 feet east of Arizona Ave., south side facing east.
Apache Trail, 20 feet east of 80th St., south side facing east.Dobson, 500 feet south of Main, east side facing north.- Washington, 115 feet south of 27th St., north side facing west.
- 16th St., 30 feet north of Grand Canal, east side facing south.
- Cave Creek Rd., 0.5 miles north of Bell Rd., west side facing south.
- Glendale Ave., 120 feet west of 25th Ave., south side facing east.
- US 60 Grand, 2,112 feet north of Northern, west side facing northwest.
Tucson:
- Ajo, 700 feet west of Alvernon, north side facing west.
- Speedway, 60 feet east of Main Ave., south side facing east.
The LAST PodcampAZ
Nov 14th
Well, that’s over. We had a great event! It mostly went off without a hitch. Only two no-show speakers this year and they both had legitimate excuses. We used eventday for registration and check-in, and having the rep scanning bar codes at the door meant attendee badges were printed on-the-spot and ready before they made it to the desk. Only issue there was a downloaded file vs. online access to an updated database so many late-registers couldn’t be scanned, but with just a few lines of information the badges printed out really fast.
We tried being a little greener, with the on-the-spot badges instead of pre-printing. We had a couple of monitors up with the schedules (also available on our website) instead of ending up with a ton of leftover printed schedules and programs.
We had give-aways in almost every session. We had great Q&A panels on writing, podcasting, and video (and something else I forget). I don’t have an exact body count yet but I estimate a little over 200 people came.
It was an awesome event.
Saturday morning started out with the announcement about The LAST PodcampAZ t-shirts. We’ve changed the name of our event to TechPHX. There were ongoing problems with using the Podcamp name (and rules) plus we’ve often found when explaining podcamp people get bogged down by the “pod” part and don’t understand that we’ve become a real ALL relevant media unconference.
And we announced we’re looking for new blood to be on the committee. We want to grow.
So watch for TechPHX information in the future.
Use a smaller paintbrush
Nov 14th
Quick background: After PodcampAZ this weekend some of us were relaxing together and of course someone pulled out a recorder. If she publishes this conversation I’ll let you know. We started the “official” conversation discussing the difference between the tolerance and coexist bumper stickers (she has the tolerance one on her car) and then moved on to other political points. In there a few times the Tea Party and the Occupy movements came up.
And I ended up yelling at someone.
I can’t remember my exact words (hopefully they’re on the recording) but the gist was every time someone would mention the Occupiers, Mr. Conservative would either scoff or make some snide remark. This bugged me. I’ve been working very hard to use a smaller paintbrush (shut up, yes I have!) when I think/talk about people who think opposite of me. So let me get this down here, paraphrasing myself, before I forget:
I have no real idea what the Tea Party is about. All we see on TV are the loudest most obnoxious, racists, hateful representatives but standing behind them are people who feel strongly enough about their feelings to take the time to gather to be heard. They may have had better leadership and organizational skills, but this and the Occupy movement have that in common. Years ago the poor and overworked rose up and said we’re not gonna take this shit anymore and unions were created to protect them. Well, unions have now become the screwers and people are rising up again to say the same thing. We don’t like what’s going on in America and we want to be heard.
The Occupy movement has no real solution but those people are in pain. Those people are wanting someone to know they’ve lost their homes and/or can’t find jobs or are in enormous debt or whatever and you can’t scoff at people’s pain. They feel strongly enough to gather and protest you must respect their feelings. Sure, people lost their houses because they made bad decisions but they were ALSO set up to fail by the banks. Sure kids gather debt in colleges but the loans were made easier to get and the jobs they’re now ready for are not there.
We watch our government throw millions of dollars at banks and the banks turn around and give their already high-paid execs millions of dollars in bonuses. It’s bullshit. Voting doesn’t work because the politicians either lie to get elected or just have such an enormous fight against the lobbyists and special interest groups and whoever they’ve got on their side that change doesn’t happen.
As another friend says, “the system sucks” and right now the Tea Party and the Occupy movement are made up of regular people trying to have a voice. These people are in pain. And you just can’t scoff at them. You can’t paint everyone you oppose with the same giant paintbrush. That is demeaning.
And that’s not right, that’s NOT okay.
Whew. I later apologized to Mr. Conservative for directing that specifically at him, but he admits I was right to call him out and he’d try harder to show respect. Now if we could get the media and government to do the same thing, show respect to the people trying to speak, maybe someone would come up with a fair solution. Right, that’s never gonna happen.
I really hope most of that conversation is published. We talked about much more but as with all recordings in public places who knows how the sound will work out until you get into editing. I’ll let you know what she ends up with.
