You’d think as much as I talk about dick I wouldn’t get asked the question. No, I’m not gay. I like dick. I like men. I like men with dicks. I even like some men who act like dicks because sometimes they’re really funny. I haven’t seen a real dick in quite some time but I Still. Want. Dick.

Oh right… the title. I hate sushi. I don’t want to try sushi. Even the thought of trying this one or that type is repugnant and makes me gag. In my mind, sushi is nasty. Yuck.

Exactly how I feel about having any sort of sexual intimacy with another woman. I’ve tried sushi once and I’ve tried another woman once and let me tell you both were gross to me.

But here’s the thing. Millions of people like sushi. Some of my friends love sushi. I’ve even hung around sushi places and I didn’t have to eat it. It doesn’t bother me a bit that other people eat sushi and it doesn’t change my beef-eating life in the slightest. Sushi had no effect on my marriage or my divorce.

Do I think sushi should be outlawed or sushi lovers shunned? That’s stupid. As long as I don’t have to eat it, why should I impose my sushi-hater feelings onto others?

Again, exactly how I feel about teh gayz. I don’t have to join in in what they do, I don’t have to click that link in my porn selections, and I don’t have to deny others what they want. If my girlfriend R likes women, far be it for me to deny her feelings. If C and T want to go home with other men, go for it. I think gay men are a perfectly good waste of dick but really, there’s a lot of wasted dick out there. At least somebody is getting satisfied. Go guys.

You either like sushi or you don’t. You either feel attraction to the same sex or you don’t. You can’t wish it different.

So you think gays and lesbians shouldn’t be able to marry or have/adopt children. Why? How exactly would either of those things change your life in any way? Really, I’d like to know. So you, like me, might find the idea of same-sex action repugnant. I can say it and still believe that those who DO like same-sex have just as much right to a life as sushi lovers. Why shouldn’t sushi lovers be able to marry? Why shouldn’t they be able to adopt a child nobody else wants and provide it with a sushi-loving home. I’d even bet gay parents wouldn’t force their kids to eat sushi if they didn’t want it.

If you tell me it’s because God didn’t like the gays I say bullshit. God didn’t say anything about gays, some bigot who made up the bible said it. Hey, as long as you’re writing a book to control the masses, let’s put your personal bigotries in there. As far as I know your God hasn’t actually said anything about anything. The bible is full of second-hand stores written hundreds of years later by some guy who may have talked to the barber of the second cousin of the neighbor who was there at the time. And then more men translated it over time. Like a good folk tale where the basic story remains but the details change for different audiences… but enough of that tangent.

Ask yourself this: (READ IT ALOUD) If my brother/sister comes out and wants to marry the love of their life – and it happens to be the same sex as they are – how exactly does that impact my life? Does it make me gay? Do they want me to watch or join in as they do gay things? Can I live the rest of my life without any difference based on their gayness? Does my relationship with them change at all based on what they do in their bedroom?

I’m betting you already know the answer.

So ask yourself this: (READ IT ALOUD) Am I a decent human being if I deny another decent human being the same rights that I have?

Let those who love sushi eat sushi and you can still eat all the steak you want. I do.

 

Think for yourself.