so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for July, 2011
What a great weekend!
Jul 24th
Which actually started Friday. I spent a nice day with Kira, dropping her off just in time for #EVFN. We tried a new place this time, Flanny’s, and though we ran out of room in our reserved area, it worked out just fine. From there some of us had an impromptu #DNPP. What a great bunch of friends I have!
Saturday I woke late, did some work, took a nap and headed out. Went to a friend’s backyard party where the only people who talked to me were the few I already knew. Which was fine – lots of little kids to watch (when they’re still cute) and interesting food I wouldn’t eat.
After that I headed to the Torch Theater where my friend Tyler joined the improv group to tell a few stories. Now that was fun.
It wasn’t that late so I went to Max and Krystal’s to hang out by the pool and have a late dinner. Came home and went to bed at 4 and slept til noon today.
I love my life.
About Manning Up
Jul 21st
I was in a conversation last night wherein someone threw my “I wish they would man up” comment right back at me.
Jerk.
Just kidding. He’s absolutely right.
Here’s the deal, #2 son has driving issues. I won’t go into them here (believe it or not I do respect other people’s business) but I’ve had similar issues in MY life. So he’s been taking my car to school every day this week. It’s not that much of a bother to me as I spend most of my time sitting at home anyway but it’s just another thing, ya know? He needs to get to school so I let him use my car. I could “man up” and say no, then he doesn’t go to school, fails and never gets a decent job. The boy ain’t taking the bus (it’s way far) or the bus-train-bus thing either. No car, he doesn’t go. Period.
The other son has a great job but his hours are horrendous. He has to be at work by 4 am which means every day is a struggle. Where does Kira go for the day? There are no day cares open at 3:30am, we’ve looked. I take her once or twice a week, his other friend does too when she’s not busy, and a neighbor takes her when she doesn’t have to work. But it’s all so irregular and not really good for Kira. She spends the night (who wants a knock on the door at 3:30 am) everywhere and anywhere. There’s no stability. He’s doing the best he can! What’s the answer? They keep telling him they’re going on midnights, but that’s been the word for weeks. So, he’s manned up by getting off unemployment but this great job is killing him.
The girl… well I absolutely can’t go into her issues here – but let’s say she’s doing the best thing for a shitty situation.
I wish my adult children were better off. I want to advise, but I don’t unless they ask. I want to push but they’re adults. I want to be more done (I know as parents we’re never really done) than I am at the moment but they still need me around. At what point do we get to be the occasional helper instead of always on call?
I don’t understand it. At my youngest’s age I was on my own, married and taking care of business as I should. I’ve raised them to be independent, and yet they can’t seem to get there. Is it the economy? Are other young adults having this much trouble or just mine? It seems so simple: find a good job, a decent place to live, and GTFU.
I am woman
Jul 13th
I never considered myself a feminist. Feminists are hard-core out there fighting the good fight and all that. I just agree with their goals and rah rah from the sidelines.
I’d say as little as 5 years ago women were doing pretty well at equality. Yes, there were still battles to fight but the war was proceeding well.
Then I started to notice more and more hootchies in videos. Then strong well-established female singers started portraying themselves as hootchies. I want to yell at them “your talent is what you want to promote, not your body!” I don’t even watch music videos anymore.
Then there’s the chipping away at women’s rights to do what they want with their own bodies. States that can’t outright outlaw abortions are now making it almost impossible for low-cost medical facilities that happen to do abortions to remain open for other women’s health needs.
Now coming soon to a TV near you are two new *scoff* shows. There’s Pan Am – let’s remember women as sex objects in the air – and The Playboy Club – let’s remember women as sex objects in private clubs.
I really think feminism is backsliding.
Don’t get me wrong, I think women should be as sexy as they want to be. But I think it sends the wrong message to show women as JUST sex objects. Can’t we have strong smart women who also happen to be sexy? Do we have to promote the idea that women should be dressed skimpily and simper over every man’s needs with little or no thought to their own?
Do we really have to train a whole new generation of men that women are just meat?
Oh my aching back
Jul 12th
Last Wednesday I sat for hours at Gangplank. My back hurt a little after that but eventually it went away.
Thursday night I had dinner with friends and the more I sat there visiting, the more uncomfortable my back got again. I stopped at the store for a few supplies on the way home and went to bed.
Friday morning I woke up before dawn with breath-catchingly acute pain in my lower back. Like my mostly right but also left lower back muscles were tied in knots. I barely made it to the bathroom without screaming. 
I tried icing. I tried heating. I tried stretching. I tried laying flat on my back on the couch. I tried one 800mg ibuprofen. I tried two 800 mg ibuprofen. Doing all that in micromovements by holding my breath and clenching my teeth.
All day Friday and Saturday were spent pretty much on the couch. Even my beloved recliner hurt me. I found the pain lessened the more I got up and moved but eventually I had to park my ass somewhere and the worse pain would come back. My bed made it worse and on the couch at least I had the coffee table to lean on to get up when I needed to.
Sunday was better, Monday was even better, and today I got up and managed a shower – I was beyond earthy on towards rancid – and went to the drug store and mailbox. Mostly now it’s just a dull pain with the occasional stab when I move wrong.
My back doesn’t like it when I raised my hands up to wash my hair, or reach around for the seat belt and especially that sneezing fit I just had.
I don’t know what the fuck I did but I certainly won’t do it again.
Independence
Jul 7th
I once worked with a woman in Florida who didn’t know how to drive. She and her hubby worked at the same place so he did all their family driving. And she’d never written a check before either. I was astounded she was perfectly happy letting him do everything for her. And it wasn’t a religious family thing, it’s just the way it was. I asked her what she was going to do if something happened to her husband and she just smiled and said her son would take care of her. She was in her mid-40s at that time. How sad is that?
Right now I know someone struggling with the leap of faith to leave her abusive husband. I know it’s scary to claim your independence but do you see the years ahead under the control of someone else?
I tried to raise my daughter (and my niece when she was with me) that is was perfectly fine to want a man but you should never need one. You should be able to take care of yourself and then add a partner, not depend on someone else to take care of you. Someone having control over you is a scary situation.
I woke up a few years ago and got my own independence back. I don’t think I actually depended on him, I just got too comfortable in that relationship and forgot who I was. Sure it was a difficult decision. Financially if I’m careful I’m fine, but all those things you think you need a man for? You really don’t.
I wish my friend would take her leap. She has a safety net with her children until she can set up her own independence. She’s a beautiful intelligent woman who loves to cook. I’m sure someone would hire her.
I wish my daughter would stop depending on a man to fulfill her. I guess the spoiled baby girl part of her missed the be independent message. She has all the skills to be a whole person on her own but she seems to have this need to have a man right there all the time. Or at the very least find one who can actually, you know, take care of her instead of wallowing in her laziness with her.
You have to be a whole person by yourself then find someone to share space with.
I’m the happiest I’ve ever been now that I’m taking care of myself. Yes, I’m lonely for the companionship of a man who likes me, but other than that I’m doing spectacular alone! I’m not sure that if I found someone to be with that I’d give up my independence again.
I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem right for one human to be under the control of another human being. Adults anyway.
Don’t be a Haboob
Jul 6th
We don’t get a lot of weather here in Arizona. It’s either hot as hell or not quite as hot as hell. But very occasionally we get WEATHER.
I was over Max’s with Kira last night and Max goes out on the patio to have a smoke and that’s what was rolling directly towards us. The awesome force of nature. The true meaning of AWEsome. I hear it was 50-70 miles wide and at least 50 mph.
Took about 2 hours to blow over, visibility was “not far” and the constant possibility of a tree or awning falling on my car kept me trapped at his house. Everything is covered in dust this morning. Like a volcano’s ashes.
Lonely Day
Jul 4th
I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely lonely
lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I can’t
go back to bed
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
Everybody knows that something’s wrong
But nobody knows what’s going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It’s shaping up to be a lonely day
I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
So what’s the theory?
Jul 3rd
One reason I don’t believe in the bible is that whole Adam and Eve thing. Not that Adam and Eve matters, since nobody is a descendant of either of them. Wouldn’t we all actually be descendants of Noah? Everyone else died in the flood. Not that it matters because it’s all bullshit anyway.
But there’s something I’d really like to understand about evolution but that I’m too damned lazy to research.
If the theory is we evolved along with monkeys/apes from a common AGENT-X did it all happen in one area and then humans wandered the earth and set up communities or did it supposedly happen all over the planet within a certain time frame?
Eskimos look the way they do because they’ve physically adapted to the constant cold. American Indians or Aborigines or all indigenous people all have physical characteristics for the most part because of where they are on the planet.
So that means all over the planet humans spontaneously (well, as spontaneously as in within maybe a few thousand years) evolved from the muck with the physical characteristics they needed to survive in their region or humans evolved in one place and then wandered for a while and set up shop and those that survived did so because they – over time – physically adapted to their environment?
Really, how did that all work? They didn’t really go deep into evolution in my schools.
I know it’s crazy but my theory of aliens planting us here sounds much more plausible. Look, they could have genetically altered people’s DNA to ensure their survival in different climates and dumped a few here and there. Maybe their planet was dead and they wanted to start over on our beautiful planet. Makes much more sense to me.
Stupid adorable kitty
Jul 3rd
Did I ever tell you how much I dislike cats?
I spent the night at my son’s house last night. They have two cats, one that has learned to stay the hell away from me, and then there’s Snickers.
She’s a slow learner.
So about 4am this morning I crashed on the couch and Snickers decided to keep me company. Sure, as long as she just cuddled behind my butt I was okay with it. But every time I moved – to get a drink of water or roll over – she thought it must be time to attack my head.
The first time she landed over by the TV. The second time she did this cute backflip before running off to safety.
The fact that I’m only sneezing a bit this morning is a testament to my allergy meds. And my chest is only a little heavy.
Stupid adorable kitty.
Living on tuna
Jul 1st
The good news is my car now has functioning air conditioning. At least until the compressor totally takes a shit. Apparently it’s iffy. But at least I know Max can fix that!
The bad news is… over the phone “it’s seven hundred and twenty” sounds an awful lot like “it’s a hundred and twenty.” Go ahead, repeat those over and over and you have to agree. I misheard the quote and had a very happy day yesterday up until the moment he called me back to tell me the car was finished and the total amount. FUUUUUUUUCK.
Oh well, it’s only money.
D’ya know you can live on tuna and macaroni and cheese fairly cheaply?
Other cheap meals include PB&J and bagged cereals.
And now I must call and make the stupid car payment on this stupid car.
