Something I’ve had to change from my previous thinking, is judging people by their appearance. Actually, judging might be a bit harsh. Maybe “instantly compartmentalizing people based on their appearance” would be closer. Judging implies I also add weight to whatever I compartmentalize them as, which I don’t do as much.

For instance, in my previous life (before social media) I’d see this guy and my first impression would be motorcycle builder or roofer. Not that there’s anything wrong with either, but you wouldn’t expect as much intelligence with people in those positions versus engineers or CEOs.

But I happen to know this guy Derek. He’s like, brilliant. He’s one of the founders of Gangplank, he’s heavy into growing Chandler, and he’s apparently the go-to guy for Phoenix-area reporters when discussing local business.

He’s so much smarter than me that when we’re in the same room I just listen in awe and try to interject something amusing occasionally. Nobody cares that he comes to work every day in shorts and t-shirts and ball-caps and might not even own a suit. What matters is who he is, not what he looks like. (Though I’m not sure about that beard-thing, Derek)

I use Derek as an example only because he popped up on my TV yesterday. He’s just one of countless people that have taught me that appearances can be deceiving. I’ve met so many really smart, articulate, nice people that from a distance the old me would have pegged completely wrong.

I feel like I’ve been coming out of a fog in the last few years. There’s my previous life of… well, too many mistakes to go into, but close-minded and safe works. And now there’s my new life where I try really hard to learn from my new friends and stop making assumptions. But we all need to stop making instant value judgments. I’m getting closer to being a decent person myself, but I occasionally backslide:


I’m sure she was a really nice girl.