so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for June, 2010
Voices in my head
Jun 7th
No, I don’t really have voices in my head. Just one. And it sounds just like mine.
I call that voice UnderMe. It’s the voice that talks to me about my insecurities, laughs at my too-late-to-stop-it mistakes, berates me when I feel good and shows me a reflection in the mirror that looks good when in real life I don’t. UnderMe is a spiteful bitch. Actually she sounds a lot like my mother now that I think about it.
You know that commercial with the guy on the pier hearing cigarette cigarette cigarette while the shark chews on his arm?
Yeah, I hear that. Plus other words like fat fat fat, eat eat eat, alone alone alone, stupid stupid stupid.
My friends, bless them, keep that voice away. I don’t hear that voice when I’m out with my friends, unless I drink too much then it yells. I don’t hear that voice when I’m with my kids and their friends. Of course, when I leave I hear STUPID STUPID LAME blaring all the way home cuz I’m so easily talked into doing something I shouldn’t, like lend money or babysit.
Does everyone have an UnderMe voice or is it just me? How do I shut the bitch up?
Internet Swimming
Jun 3rd
A friend of mine posted this on twitter:
The phrase tech-savvy really needs to be abolished. It’s time to expect that ppl can use computers.
This comes from a young man who makes his living on the Internet. In fact I have a lot of friends who make their living on the Internet. These people are so totally immersed online and surrounded by the like that sometimes they forget there are people who don’t even swim.
If you picture the Internet as a giant swimming pool:
- You have those that jump off the high dive and spend all day and all night in the water, diving deep and cavorting around, barely coming up for air. If they’re not on their laptop/computer they’re still tied to their smartphones. They chose total immersion and love it. <- this is me, sort of. I’m more of a floater than a diver, but I’m mostly submerged. I get it all, I just can’t manipulate it as well as most Internet swimmers. Most of my friends are like this.
- You have those that jump in and swim around the shallow end for a while, but don’t venture far from the ladder. email, Facebook, myspace and basic Google searches are all they try to do. Overwhelmed by the infinity of the Internet, they chose to inch forward. <- my kids and their friends
- And then you have those sit beside the pool in chaise lounges. They know the pool is there and maybe ask those in the pool to help them out. They don’t swim, they don’t even sit on the edge to dangle their feet. They are so totally afraid intimidated by the crowded pool that they prefer to sit aside. <- my parents and their friends.
Don’t underestimate the amount of lounge chairs outside the pool. Don’t get so immersed in your Internet world that you can’t see those sitting outside anymore. Invite them in, but don’t punish them for choosing to stay out. You can’t dump people in who aren’t prepared to swim or the rest of us have to save them. The Internet should be a choice.
Disjointed posts
Jun 2nd
1. New owner of four brand new tires. Now I feel safer making plans to drive to Minneapolis. I was sitting outside the Firestone place when some guy in a low-rider pulls up and offers me a CD of his band’s music. “Is it like what you’re listening to right now?” At his nod I decline his offer politely, “Sorry dude, that’s not my kind of music, thanks.” AND HE GIVE ME A NOISE AND A DIRTY LOOK! Seriously? Do I look like your demographic? Sure, this middle-aged chunky white woman just loooooooves hip-hop. Save your CD for someone who gives a shit.
2. I love trees. Trees are what make summers in Arizona bearable. I wish people were better at trimming where they overhang walk areas. The other problem with trees is birds. Bird shit to be more specific. You really take your chances when you park under a tree so your car won’t burn you.
3. I put my 60-day notice to move. I don’t have a clue where I’m moving to, but I need to get out of here. A two-bedroom apartment is too much strain on my budget, leaving me with nothing extra. Spent a few hours on craigslist and rental sites yesterday looking for a decent studio but no luck so far. A converted garage or MIL apartment would be perfect. I just need a home base for when I’m NOT traveling.
And why am I always so sure travelling should have two ls?
