If you’ve known me for a while, you know my lack of relationship with my sister. We were never close, but I took in her daughter years ago when they were having issues in her family. Miss B lived with us for two years. When she finally went home my sister stopped talking to me at all. I never knew why, not that it bothered me all that much. Just a small annoyance.  Kinda funny.

You remember my trip to Florida last December. Since then Miss B’s life has gotten even shittier. Scumbag Dan is the root of all her problems – though I don’t let her off the hook entirely. She, like her mother, has continued to choose a man over her child. She’d rather live in hell with him than give him up and get her shit together.

Right now they are living with my mother because she’s not strong enough to kick them out. No matter how much everyone in the family yells at her, she can’t seem to put Miss B out on the street and Scumbag is part of the package. There are still constant excuses why he won’t get a job and continues to suck the life out of everyone around him.

Even though Friday they were served with papers that my sister succeeded in legally severing their rights to their child. The final death nell in my opinion. Now Miss B has absolutely no reason to ever dump the asshole and try. There was no reason for that! Beth could raise that baby and do everything necessary without that final cut-off! My (gag) sister has permanently written off her own child at what, 22 years old?  WTF!

I… I would never. Even though That Girl has done what she’s done, every time Casey talks about having her permanently/legally removed from Kira’s life I advise not to. Get the stupid divorce and permanent custody, but don’t take that final step. People change. Especially those in their 20s. There is always someday. If a parent chooses to give up their child, that’s their decision to live with. But to take a child away with no hope of ever getting it back or having any right to any contact is too much.

I’m sad for my niece. Someday she may become the person she could be, but she’ll never be whole. I’m sad for my sister who at her age should know behavior is not permanent and cutting people out has repercussions years later. How does she not remember her own history? I’m saddest about that little boy who will grow up in confusion and anger because his family couldn’t stick together through thick and thin. What lessons will he learn from this?

And with my fucked up family, how did I learn that no matter what these are your children? Even at our worst, I never shut the door, I never cut off my kid, and I never would. Yes there are some times you can say never.