so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for June, 2010
Solid Oak Computer Desk for Sale
Jun 29th
I just thought I’d post this here before I hassled with craigslist. Craigslist might have started off as a great sharing place, but it’s all full of rip-offs and creepy people and pitfalls to watch out for.
Suggestion: Meet buyers in a public area. Great idea, but it’s not like I can truck this thing around hoping Person X chooses to buy it.
Anyway, this computer desk and matching bookcase are solid oak. I paid a pretty penny for it a few years back, but I just don’t use it or have room for it anymore.
You can plug the desk in and then plug all your components (printer, scanner, router, etc.) in behind the panel and then power them on and off in one place. You can even plug in your laptop in the front. There’s a slide out for your keyboard, adjustable shelves, space for your tower, and a shelf to put your feet up. The bottom drawer is set up for hanging files. Yes, the hutch can separate from the bottom of the desk so you don’t have to use it. Everything is is perfect condition except for the glued-on mouse pad area.
I want to get $700 (OBO) for the set, and I think that’s letting it go cheap. You can email me if you’re interested or you know of someone who is. I can probably get one of the kids to be delivery boy if necessary.
The last of my really nice furniture. *sigh* I’ll have to put it up on craigslist if none of my friends wants it. Don’t make me do that.
Children's Pageants
Jun 25th
I’m watching the latest episode of Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List where she and her Mom are guest judges at a little kids pageant.
We normal people know how sick and twisted it is to dress and make-up your 2-year-old and parade them like they are dolls. What are you teaching your child? Fake everything and maybe someone will think you’re special enough to win a trophy. And if you don’t win, then you’re JUST NOT SPECIAL ENOUGH. Beauty isn’t something a kid can practice and work on like sports or grades. You either have it or you have to fake it.
I’ve seen bits and pieces of these pageants on other shows. I tend NOT to watch because it’s all so… makesmesquickyinside. But about halfway through this episode they show the 4-6 year old little girls dressed up in their finery and egads… the look of unhappy desperation in their eyes as they stood there to be JUDGED by strangers! Just that 10 seconds is all you need to see if you’re EVER planning on putting your kid through this crap. Look at those kids eyes. It’s all there.
You might convince yourself that your child wants to do it, but in reality all your kid wants is your approval. Children perform for approval, and acting like they want what you want is part of that performance. If you really want to know if your kid is happy, watch them when they don’t know you’re watching. Better yet, have someone record your interaction with your child and watch it later. You’ll see truth when you’re not looking.
POOL Together
Jun 24th
One of my social groups (#EVTM) was invited to have their monthly breakfast meet-up at a new place in Mesa called:
It’s located in what used to be Mervyn’s on Stapley and Main and they’re kind of a start-up incubator for small businesses. You can rent space there to get your small business out of your garage! We were invited to the coffee shop, but there’s a customized cupcakes booth/store next door and a florist moving in next door to that. I think I saw a Realtor booth around the corner.
It is all still under construction though the coffee place is open and you can go in and wander around. I’ll bet in 6 months the place will be hopping with activity. Skylar mentioned a farmer’s market, an enchilada lady, clock repairs, meeting area, jewelers, embroiderers, and more.
And wi-fi!
The difference between this place and something like Gangplank is actual storefronts without fronts. Everything is more open like an upscale flea market. Less office area, more mini-mall without the higher rents.
I think they’re having a soft-opening at the end of July. You should go down and check it out. Hopefully this place will give Mesa the boost it deserves.
I wish I knew someone who had a small business that could work out of there.
#DNPP
Jun 21st
Okay, on last week’s Evo @ 11 show somehow… it was decided there should be a Debbie’s Nude Pool Party… yeah. 
I don’t know how I get talked into these things.
Nobody would come to a nude pool party if I held it. I still say that. But this just keeps rolling along despite my objections. Evo has spread the word. People came up to me at #evfn and asked when my naked pool party was scheduled. I’m getting tweets!
So… sometime in the beginning of August? Maybe? Really? Will people really get naked around their friends? We’re not 20-something co-eds.Would you… when it comes right down to it, would you?
The person I was 30 years ago would have no problem. Naked? Fuck yeah. But I dunno, years of twisting myself into the responsible adult I am now is making it harder to go back to the person I was, who I prefer to be. Not to mention my general unattractiveness magnified with no clothes on.
I’m house-sitting for Evo and Sheila for a couple of days, so I spent a bit of time practicing. Practicing being comfortable with my nakedness outside of my own home. Their dog is not impressed. Now I need to practice being naked around other people.
Anyway, there’s probably a Debbie’s Naked Pool Party at ShEvo’s sometime this summer.
And I’m the person least excited about it.
Summer Travels
Jun 17th
I’m going to TAM! Well, not really. I’m going to Vegas July 8-11 to hang out with the illustrious when they’re not at the actual convention. I really can’t afford the tickets to TAM 8 so I’m tagging along for the parties… and VEGAS!
Then July 21-25 I’m going to San Diego ComiCon with my friend CJ (@twinklergirl) . That should be a ton of fun but exhausting. Dragon*Con kicks my ass and this is bigger. But I can’t wait.
Then I have to move the first weekend in August. Gotta get a cheaper apartment… okay, a dump that costs less. I prepaid and bartered for the above trips but the next one is on me. And might cost a bit. So Ginnie and I are getting an apartment together again. She’s not a bad roommate, as long as there’s no guy along. We should be fine. Should.
The end of August I’m taking a road trip up to Minnesota. I’m not sure when I’m leaving (or coming back) but the sooner the better. I wonder how long I can stay there.
I suppose I should come back. I have commitments with PodCampAZ and podcasting. I thought about heading east after Minnesota, but the further I go there’s the long trip back. Alone.
The Good Guys
Jun 15th
Here’s my disclaimer: I haven’t watched the show yet and have no desire to do so.
I’ve always liked Bradley Whitford, but the ‘stache is awful. Ladies man? Uh, no, not this lady or any lady I know. Dumbchick magnet maybe.
And doesn’t Colin Hanks look like he should have a British accent?
I don’t think this show will last. When does a mis-matched cop show ever succeed? Where can the story go? It might be friggin’ hilarious, but I’ll betcha it gets old fast and dies.
Broken ties
Jun 13th
If you’ve known me for a while, you know my lack of relationship with my sister. We were never close, but I took in her daughter years ago when they were having issues in her family. Miss B lived with us for two years. When she finally went home my sister stopped talking to me at all. I never knew why, not that it bothered me all that much. Just a small annoyance. Kinda funny.
You remember my trip to Florida last December. Since then Miss B’s life has gotten even shittier. Scumbag Dan is the root of all her problems – though I don’t let her off the hook entirely. She, like her mother, has continued to choose a man over her child. She’d rather live in hell with him than give him up and get her shit together.
Right now they are living with my mother because she’s not strong enough to kick them out. No matter how much everyone in the family yells at her, she can’t seem to put Miss B out on the street and Scumbag is part of the package. There are still constant excuses why he won’t get a job and continues to suck the life out of everyone around him.
Even though Friday they were served with papers that my sister succeeded in legally severing their rights to their child. The final death nell in my opinion. Now Miss B has absolutely no reason to ever dump the asshole and try. There was no reason for that! Beth could raise that baby and do everything necessary without that final cut-off! My (gag) sister has permanently written off her own child at what, 22 years old? WTF!
I… I would never. Even though That Girl has done what she’s done, every time Casey talks about having her permanently/legally removed from Kira’s life I advise not to. Get the stupid divorce and permanent custody, but don’t take that final step. People change. Especially those in their 20s. There is always someday. If a parent chooses to give up their child, that’s their decision to live with. But to take a child away with no hope of ever getting it back or having any right to any contact is too much.
I’m sad for my niece. Someday she may become the person she could be, but she’ll never be whole. I’m sad for my sister who at her age should know behavior is not permanent and cutting people out has repercussions years later. How does she not remember her own history? I’m saddest about that little boy who will grow up in confusion and anger because his family couldn’t stick together through thick and thin. What lessons will he learn from this?
And with my fucked up family, how did I learn that no matter what these are your children? Even at our worst, I never shut the door, I never cut off my kid, and I never would. Yes there are some times you can say never.
Another parenting FAIL
Jun 13th
Last evening was so beautiful I decided to take Kira to the park to kill time before bath and bedtime – one can only take so much Nick Jr. There was a huge party going on at the north end of the park including at 40-50 little dark haired children who weren’t speaking English.
I like this little park. There’s two separate climbing/slide structures, a giant fake rock in the middle to climb on, musical drum-like things and a splash pad. What I didn’t like was the ton of trash this party dumped all over. The playground was littered with empty soda cans and little chip bags, party gift bags and other assorted garbage. None of the various trash cans were full, it’s just that these kids would bring crap over from their party and when they were done would just drop it where they were and run off. Yes, twice I watched children old enough to know better finish off a product and toss the container over their shoulder.
In the hour we were there, not one parent instructed a child to pick up their garbage nor did they do it themselves. I watched a group of 4 boys jump off the big rock into the sand (about 6 feet) and jam sticks into the sand to show their distance, climb up and jump again. How they managed to do that without breaking a leg or poking an eye out, I don’t know. Again, no parents around advising them of the stupidity of such moves. There were three or four toddlers that would wander by me at different times without an adult in site. One manged to cross the whole park before Mama finally got off her ass and yelled at a bigger kid to go get her.
And Kira was overwhelmed by the hoards of wild sugar-infused kids who all knew each other and kept running her over. When none responded to her attempts at friendship, she ended up playing in a corner of the sandy area by herself. Time to go home.
I’m tempted to go by today and see if possibly they cleaned up before they left last night. I’m guessing no.
And they wonder why some of us don’t want them here. Disgust?
We'll never agree
Jun 10th
I wish people wouldn’t feel the need to beat you over the head with their opinion:
ME: Hot atheists and agnostics http://bit.ly/b37g57 Aren’t Agnostics just Atheists with a fear of commitment?
(Meant to be humorous)
Other Person: agnostics = there is a god! Athiests = there is no such thing as this god nonsense
To which I stupidly reply:
ME: Agnostics are just-in-case Atheists. You can’t have God without religion. Like believing in Huck Finn without Mark Twain.
Which in turn opens the angry floodgates:
OP: uhhhh… I’m agnostic. Yes, you can have spirituality without religion. You can’t be Christian without Christianity though.
OP: it’s more about abandoning religion than anything. Don’t tell me what I am.
OP: people don’t understand that spirituality and religion are two totally different things.
Oh, I had a reply but I refrained from comment there. I mean it’s twitter! Land of the quick comments not long discussions.
OP: that is like saying people of earthly (pagan) religions are athiests because they don’t believe in the Christian God.
My eyes are glazing over here…
OP: or that I am an athiest because I believe in and thank the universe for what I am blessed with. I am not Christian…
Fine, whatever you say dear. Go eat a cookie and calm down.
ag·nos·tic: (wishy-washy)
- One who believes that it is impossible to know whether there is a God.
- One who is skeptical about the existence of God but does not profess true atheism.
- One who is doubtful or noncommittal about something.
a·the·ist: (definitive)
- One who disbelieves or denies the existence of God or gods.
Somehow I think believing in a Mother Nature type energy (pagans?) or Lady Luck or any sort of mystical energy is different than believing in God or Muhammad or Buddha. There is no big giant head controlling the entire universe.
I believe in my parking angel. I have an angel on my visor that if I rub her tummy and ask nicely a great parking space will open up as if by magic. It works nine times out of ten. Do I think she’s getting her power though God? Shit no. But maybe she’s tapping into some karma-luck energy field. Or maybe it’s just coincidence. Who cares.
Oh right, the subject of this post. I learned a long time ago there’s just no arguing with people. You state your opinion and leave it at that. What’s the point of defending your position over and over again? You’re not going to change someone else’s mind.
Drives me nucking futs when people do that. But not as much as when they can’t spell Athiest.
Pride in my kids
Jun 9th
I’m very proud of my kids. All of them. Yes I make comments and sometimes talk about this dumb thing or that bad move, but all-in-all my kids are doing well.
Sure, in the grand world their accomplishments might not make a blip. My kids will likely never be professionals making big bucks. Never be doctors or lawyers or ever wear button-down shirts. But you know what? Who cares.
My oldest son is raising a daughter on his own. He gets up every day and makes sure she’s clean and fed, learns manners, gets exercise and not too much TV.
He talks to her and plays with her and makes sure she’s in good hands when he needs a break. This child is never mistreated. I’m very proud of him as a parent. He’s struggling financially because he can’t find a decent job that will pay enough to put her in a GOOD daycare, so he chooses to stay at home and make the best with what he has. No matter how he’s tried to get his life together, he can’t catch a break. But does he give up on his child? No, she’s his life. He’s a better parent to her than I was to him at the same age.
My second child was recently in the Army where he served his country with pride. 
Now he’s taken a job he hates so he can support his wife. They’re living in a house with two other families and still barely getting by. But he’s not angry or bitter. He just keeps looking ahead and making plans for his future.
My daughter is trying. Her dreams have been sidelined for the moment, but she’s taken steps to get back on course. She’s working and living on her own. 
We’re not a dirt-poor family. I’d say we’ve always tried to stay (at least) lower-middle class. We’re not white trash. We don’t go hungry and we keep up our homes and pay our bills. At the moment all of them are free from legal issues and have drivers licenses and insurance. Hey, this is a huge accomplishment from 5-6 years ago.
All three are taking steps to do online college classes starting next fall. I don’t know if they’ll follow through but I’m proud of them for trying.
In my world they are all accomplished. My kids didn’t have advantages. Yes I expect more, but for now I’m proud of how much they’ve grown. They still make mistakes, but who doesn’t? And though the boys have had problems with the law it was never anything serious. Stupid shit but never hurting other people. They’re all GOOD people always willing to help each other and their friends when they can.
I love my family.
