Social events nowadays aren’t quite like they used to be… though some things never change.

Whereas our parents would group up and socialize with a small group of people they knew and with an agenda (bowling, pinochle, or specific celebratory events) we tend to gather just to hang out. #evfn has no agenda. Tweetups for breakfast have no agenda. We just go to hang out with our friends for a while and catch up, tease or whatever. And there’s always new people included.

We don’t seem to have that cattiness or gossipy thing that people used to have. Maybe it’s because the groups now are so transient, you’re not sure who is friends with who like those old fixed groups used to be.

We still mentally label people but not usually in a negative way. I for instance, am probably labeled to most people as mid-40s single (and likely a couple more labels besides) because humans tend to do that. That guy is mid-20s, buff, web designer, and gay. That girl is mid-30s, Realtor, Mom and so on.

But the thing that never changes is observation. Someone is always watching at these group events. I was at a breakfast and someone leaned over and asked me about another woman’s new wedding ring. I hadn’t noticed or heard anything about this couple getting married. Another time I was asked if the woman on a popular person’s lap was his wife. In fact no, but if you knew them all, you’d know it was just to be funny. I was at an event recently when the gentleman sitting next to me was a little over-close and when he went to the bathroom, half the table asked if we were together. People notice things.

But I don’t think it is in a catty or gossipy way anymore. We just cannot seem to shed the need to  label or pigeonhole people. I know I can’t. Seems like everyone I meet I check off a mental checklist so I can put them in the right slot in my mind. Though a lot of times with me it’s available/not. Maybe we’ve been trained to avoid offending people so we gather information to avoid our own faux pas. You don’t want to flirt with the not-so-obviously-gay dude, or make snide anti-Republican comments while chatting with the lady on John McCain’s campaign committee.

So just remember, people are watching and don’t be a dick. Right?