so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for April, 2010
Yes it was a happy birthday
Apr 30th
If you didn’t know (and how could you have missed it) yesterday was my 49th birthday. 
It was a back-and-forth day.
Took a shower with no conditioner because son had moved my shampoo/conditioner into the other bathroom to bath Kira the day before and didn’t put them back, and I didn’t bother to check before getting in the shower. Thankfully there was a mostly dead bottle of shampoo in the corner of the shower.
Met up with friends at Liberty Market for #evtm (east valley thursday morning) and got my breakfast for free because it was my birthday! And after a while Jana bought me a hot chocolate.
Went to get my hair colored and it cost me more than I really wanted to spend. Even though I just got my hair cut and thinned, I was charged extra for thickness and length. But it looks good and I didn’t have to do it myself.
Stopped to get a bottle of water. They had a 2 for $2 sale. Cashier charged me $3.64. I handed her $4 but mentioned SALE. She stared at me and said they were already discounted. I mentioned SALE sign and pointed it out to her. She mumbled something under her breath and rechecked the register and grudging admitted I was right, handing me back $3. I didn’t bother to correct her again.
Went to see Date Night using a free pass I’d earned through Moviewatchers.com. Loved it! I’m not much of a fan of the slapstick which Steve Carell (and Jim Carrey and Will Ferrell) tend towards, but this was just this side of that line and hilarious. Saw another preview for Knight and Day and I might like to see that. Not a fan of Tim Cruise either, but he’s pretty good when he gets a part with a sense of humor.
Then to the car wash and oil change. Again, paid more than I wanted but didn’t get upsold into anything more than I went for. Slid over to Gangplank to edit/post Evo @ 11 and got it almost done before I had to leave for dinner.
Met most of my family (and semi-adopted kids) at Joes Real BBQ for (mine was free!) dinner. People rave about this place and I wanted to try it, but other than the to-die-for ribs I didn’t find it all that amazing. Had fun though. Casey did in fact get me a camera for my birthday but it doesn’t work – the flash never flashed – so I’ll have to take it back. He felt bad but it wasn’t his fault. Casey’s luck just sucks.
Mother called to wish me happy birthday and managed to spoil my mood with complaints about stuff she decides to do.
Went to Max’s to play games and drink, but I can never manage to stay there long. Fucking cats. We always have fun but I always have to leave.
So… overall a day.
What a change!
Apr 27th
It’s verrrrrry nice to be pleasantly sleepy and it’s not quite midnight. Getting off the Theophylline was the best thing I’ve done. No more staying up til 2 am and fighting to go to sleep. Now that the aches are gone I feel almost like a normal person.
Goodnight.
Maternal Instinct… Not
Apr 27th
I’m watching the Today Show and again today they’re discussing this married woman who disappeared with another married man.
Shit that happens ALL THE TIME.
And again today they have “experts” diagnosing her relationship with her husband, that she MUST have some sort of depression because she walked away from her 1-year-old, she MUST have had some childhood trauma or she’s a monster for abandoning her child, blah blah blah. Why label? Labels give people easy excuses for shitty behavior.
Like I said yesterday, birthing a child doesn’t make you a parent. There’s no automatic tie between the birth mother and the child (else there wouldn’t be adoptions) and not every woman has 100% maternal instinct.
My 1stSon’s “wife” started catting around pretty quickly after Kira was born. When he kicked her out she rarely wanted to see Kira and proceeded to have twins by another man and after a year, took the twins to another state and dumped them. I hear she’s moved on and is now pregnant again.
Does she suffer from depression? I doubt it. Did she have childhood trauma? Likely as she was a foster child. Personally I think she just craves attention (she was a stripper) and being pregnant and lugging around infants means the attention is on her. She’s had three kids and yet not a smidgen of maternal instinct.
Choosing to never be a parent and/or giving your baby away at birth is different. I know women who have chosen to remain childless who have more maternal instinct than a few who have kids and treat them like dogs.
Why does society insist that all women should have children? We really don’t need any more unwanted mongrels out there.
Why does society harass women who choose birth control or abortion to avoid having children they don’t want or know they’re unprepared to raise?
Why does society bitch about there not being enough babies out there to adopt, yet are so shocked and therefore harass any woman who might not want a second or third child and chooses to give it to someone who does?
That’s the one that confuses me. Say there’s a married woman who already has two kids and gets pregnant. For whatever reason she’s against abortion but really doesn’t want that third kid. What does she do? If she chose to put that third child up for adoption everyone around her would probably give her a hard time. Instead of applauding her for giving someone else a chance to parent, they’re appalled she doesn’t want that child. So she’s stuck.
Maybe if we stopped putting so much emphasis on what every woman should do and just let woman do what they’re comfortable doing we’d all be better off. When will parenting really be a choice?
I think “maternal instinct” should be knowing your own ability and making your own choices. I think women instinctively know what’s best for themselves (and any possible child) but too often succumb to family and societal pressures.
Things I Can Stand Behind:
Apr 26th
I’m pro-choice.
They need to repeal don’t ask don’t tell.
I participate in #Boobquake every day, not just today.
I’m a Skepchick.
I support gay marriage rights.
I think religious institutions should STOP getting tax exemptions. I haven’t seen a church yet that was truly non-profit.
I think the Pope should stand up and be a man and take responsibility. He should submit to any investigations and charges should be brought. I think that would go a long way to restore the Catholic church’s credibility. Not that I give a shit about the TCC, but the fact that he doesn’t just proves TCC is a sham.
I think that convicted child molesters should be branded on the face. Fair warning to any child who encounters them later.
I think healthy food should be less expensive than crap food, then less people would be overweight.
I think everyone should have basic health care.
I think pregnant women should be required to take parenting classes. Giving birth doesn’t make you a good parent. I’m evidence of that.
I think people should stay the hell out of other people’s business unless what they’re doing is detrimental to someone else. See all opinions above.
How to Tame Your Dragon
Apr 25th
But what the hell do you do about other people’s children?
Casey and I took Kira to her first real movie theater movie today. We decided How to Tame Your Dragon looked appropriate and Casey had free movie passes to Harkins so we headed up to AZ Mills. Along with every other human with children in the greater Tempe area apparently. The mall was packed.
We were standing in line and I moved around Casey in time to see the little girl ahead of us lean over and give Kira a mean bullying look. Poor Kira was confused and hurt. Casey and I looked at each other and he said the kid told Kira to shut up. Kira wasn’t even saying anything. What can you do? The parents were busy buying movie tickets and missed the exchange. I wanted to yank the little brat’s ponytail.
Anyway, we bought our tickets and wandered the mall for an hour. I don’t know who was worse, Kira asking for everything in sight or Casey buying stupid stuff every 10 feet. He’d blown 10 bucks before we hit the first corner. Carousels and squishy toys and cookies and icees.
Back in time for the movie and she seemed interested in the upcoming Shrek movie. After a little confusion (she thought we were seeing the Shrek movie) she settled down pretty quick.
I will say this, she didn’t act up. Pretty soon she was in my lap, then Daddy’s then a quick trip to the potty and then she crashed before the kid and dragon became friends. She missed the whole lesson of the movie and chatted about scary fire-breathing dragons attacking us all the way home.
I loved the movie, but we’ll have to rent it for her and skip the scary parts.
First doesn’t mean shit
Apr 24th
You know what bugs me? When people say stupid shit like, “if Edison didn’t invent the light bulb we’d all be sitting around in the dark.”
Hello? Just because Edison got credit for being the first to invent the light bulb, that doesn’t necessarily mean he was the only person working in the idea. And maybe Columbus discovered America, but I’m damned sure someone else would have run into this giant chunk of land before long if he hadn’t.
This type of crap often pops up in abortion debates. OMG, what if that aborted fetus could have grown up to be the President or cure cancer???!!!! My mental response is usually just a stupid, “more likely that unwanted child would grow up to be Ted Bundy or George W. Bush.”
Someone will eventually cure cancer, or rather a team of people, and meanwhile there are other teams working on the same goal. There’s a new President every few years and I wouldn’t wish that job on a kid anyway. Can you imagine the stress?
A fried of mine just started an unmoms discussion site. The first frikkin’ comment (that wasn’t her boyfriend’s) was some woman snarking that the name was “ripped off” from another blogger. Let me ask you, have you ever heard of or used the word unmom? That’s what I thought. There was even a passive-aggressive email from theunmom to theunmoms. Hey lady, you’re not the first nor the last and nobody gives a shit! There are very few original ideas in this world, just variations on a theme.
OMG, if her mother had opted to abort her would there be such a thing as an unmom?
Yep.
So anyway…
Apr 23rd
I love Craig Ferguson. @craigyferg
I got my hair cut today, all of them actually.
I celebrated 4/20 with some of my kids. Someone made brownies and Casey gave me a whole one. I’ve never had brownies before so I plowed through the whole delicious stupid thing. I was feeling good for a while and then went over that “I think I’m gonna throw up” threshold and pretty much stayed there the rest of the night. No fun. Too much… much. For something that’s supposed to make sick people feel more like eating, every mention of food made me ill. The very thought of moving so much as an eyebrow made me want to throw up. And I did, once, because the room spun every time I closed my eyes and I really wanted to close my eyes. Then Ginnie showed up and after one look at me took me home.
Yes, I’m a lightweight.
So much so that I didn’t even realize she had my car until Wednesday night. Though we didn’t record Evo at 11 this week, I needed to run to the grocery store and couldn’t find my keys. That’s when it dawned on me she had my car! Duh-me.
My friend Cat is coming to AZ in a couple of weeks for her sister’s graduation. I hope we can get together for lunch or something. I miss her, but I understand how those family things go.
Oh yeah, they changed my meds again. So now I’m off the Theophylline that I’ve been on for more years than I can remember. That’s the drug that makes sleeping so difficult. So far I’ve been off for three days and I slept like a rock last night. But every bone in my body aches so I’m back on the ibuprofen. I’m hoping that aching passes after I’ve been off the Theophylline for a while. Plus they’re changing my maintenance inhalers AGAIN. That means I’ll have even more unopened and leftover meds clogging up my cupboard. I’m hesitant to toss them in the regular trash but I don’t think they’ll take them back even unopened. And they always send giant economy sized meds so I have three bottles of Theophylline, a couple bottles of antibiotic she told me to stop taking and all those extra inhalers. I could open a pharmacy of my own.
Let’s see, what else.
My birthday is coming up and I’m pretty sure the kids are getting me some sort of camera. Something HD video cool something they’ve already decided on, so I’ll roll with it. Expect pictures of Kira soon. I’ve missed taking pictures of her as she grows.
Arizona sure is pissing people off today. Protesters in the streets! Anything that gives Arpaio more power can’t be good.
Senate Bill 1070 would make it a state crime to be in the country illegally and requires local law enforcement to determine an individual’s immigration status if they suspect that person is in the country illegally.
I believe it’s already a crime to be in this country illegally. But seriously, this will just make Arpaio’s stormtroopers even more dickish. They’re already hitting businesses in force, rounding up anyone with the wrong skin tint and checking them for citizenship – sometimes AFTER they’re in jail.
Welcome back me!
Apr 23rd
Holy crap it’s been a long week or so. SOMETHING was wrong, I couldn’t get to this site, I couldn’t get to Evo’s or other sites I needed to work. Talk about FRUSTRATED. There was some ugly mexican border wall between me at home and everything on that one server.
I posted one thing here using my DROID. I love the thing but it’s really not built for some middle-aged half-blind beyotch with bifocals to write entire blog posts. Plus I don’t think it cross-posted to LJ. I posted my last post from the friggin’ laundry!
Turns out if you try to log in some places with faulty login info, sometimes they block you FOREVER!
And of course, like problems with my car, I knew what the issue was I just didn’t know how to fix it. I know just enough of this shit to get by. Feels like swimming in a murky pond at night with no moon. I can swim, I just can’t always find my way around.
Oh well. I’m back in business. Try me.
Somebody's Watching You
Apr 17th
Social events nowadays aren’t quite like they used to be… though some things never change.
Whereas our parents would group up and socialize with a small group of people they knew and with an agenda (bowling, pinochle, or specific celebratory events) we tend to gather just to hang out. #evfn has no agenda. Tweetups for breakfast have no agenda. We just go to hang out with our friends for a while and catch up, tease or whatever. And there’s always new people included.
We don’t seem to have that cattiness or gossipy thing that people used to have. Maybe it’s because the groups now are so transient, you’re not sure who is friends with who like those old fixed groups used to be.
We still mentally label people but not usually in a negative way. I for instance, am probably labeled to most people as mid-40s single (and likely a couple more labels besides) because humans tend to do that. That guy is mid-20s, buff, web designer, and gay. That girl is mid-30s, Realtor, Mom and so on.
But the thing that never changes is observation. Someone is always watching at these group events. I was at a breakfast and someone leaned over and asked me about another woman’s new wedding ring. I hadn’t noticed or heard anything about this couple getting married. Another time I was asked if the woman on a popular person’s lap was his wife. In fact no, but if you knew them all, you’d know it was just to be funny. I was at an event recently when the gentleman sitting next to me was a little over-close and when he went to the bathroom, half the table asked if we were together. People notice things.
But I don’t think it is in a catty or gossipy way anymore. We just cannot seem to shed the need to label or pigeonhole people. I know I can’t. Seems like everyone I meet I check off a mental checklist so I can put them in the right slot in my mind. Though a lot of times with me it’s available/not. Maybe we’ve been trained to avoid offending people so we gather information to avoid our own faux pas. You don’t want to flirt with the not-so-obviously-gay dude, or make snide anti-Republican comments while chatting with the lady on John McCain’s campaign committee.
So just remember, people are watching and don’t be a dick. Right?
Overnight overkill
Apr 15th
I just received a surprise overnight package (no, the UPS driver wasn’t hot) from the VA pharmacy. I usually get my meds through the regular mail. Intrigued, I popped that puppy open to reveal a cooler with ice packs and one box of my inhaled medication.
Wha-what? Nobody told me that one was supposed to be refrigerated!
Nobody told the drug company either. Nowhere in the nine pages of information does it say keep refrigerated, just room temperature and dry.
Overkill? But thanks VA for the free cooler!
