so don't ask if you don't want to know
The downside of social media
Every week I go to #evfn and gather with 20-30-40 people. The body count differs every week but there’s a core group. Some people come and go and some come back every time.
The problem is I don’t like every one of them, and I’m sure there are some that don’t like me. For the sake of the social situation we appear friendly at best and civil if there’s a real dislike. I think I can tell when someone doesn’t like me and I give them plenty of space.
The thing is, I really don’t want to hurt your feelings even if we didn’t click. Not every has to like everyone else. We’re not in kindergarten, we’re adults and we should realize and recognize when we aren’t connecting.
There are a couple of people who attend I actively dislike. There’s no hope for a connection or friendship and I can’t even be civil to them, but they still seek me out for conversation. Get a couple of drinks in me and I get downright rude. So far I’ve held my nasty comments, but should I? Are we required (as adults) to be at the very least civil to those who completely irritate or worse, creep us out?
What’s the best way to let someone know they should avoid you without being the real downer in a social group situation? Some people are so obtuse. I could be really nasty (which is my instinct) but then I’m the group bitch. While I’m naturally going to be a bitch, I don’t want to be THE BITCH.
By the way, don’t respond with a bunch of whiny “is it me?” shit. If I talk you you, I like you. If I smile politely and nod for short conversations but don’t hang around, we’re not connecting. If I see you coming and head the other way, duh-you.
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about 2 years ago
I struggle with this sometimes myself. There are people who I really strongly dislike who seem to just be DRAWN to me. I’ve even tried being a bitch, without even worrying anymore about being labeled as THE bitch, and certain people STILL keep coming back for more. So that may not even work for you.
My advice, and what I have ended up doing, is mocking these people relentlessly to their face. Since they still seem to want to stick around, I might as well get my entertainment out of it, right? Say such outlandish things that you can’t even believe you said it when you look back upon it. Much laughter will ensue.
about 2 years ago
is it me?
about 2 years ago
Go for it be “The Bitch”, just kidding. It’s a a sticky situation that you’re in, I just tend to let people slide and tune them out if I don’t like them. If someone really crosses me though I let them have it, no sugar coating.
about 2 years ago
Yeah, you specifically were one of the “he hates me” people. But you keep hanging around and you tolerate my pushing. I’ve decided it’s not me, it’s just you and I should stop beating you up about it. Cuz your wife is cool.
about 2 years ago
Don’t worry, I liked you from the first moment I met you. I am just a quiet person. I appreciate you for who you are and am glad that you push me.
about 2 years ago
Most people think I hate them, it’s my curse and a heavy burden.
about 2 years ago
Is it Chuck?
about 2 years ago
I miss hanging out with you on a regular basis. I’m hoping I can change this very very soon.
I too wonder is it Chuck?
about 2 years ago
I figured it was probably me… Then I remembered that I don’t live in AZ and have never been to #evfn.
I would say that if you don’t like them, you have no reason to go out of your way to be friendly. If trying to avoid them, and never actively going to talk to them doesn’t clue them in, maybe they need a little bitchiness.
Of course, if I do come down in May and I end up at #evfn, you will be required to fill me in on any dirt about everyone!
about 2 years ago
Totally Chuck.
about 2 years ago
You don’t have to say Hi to me if you don’t want to, Debbie. I’ll just sit in the corner and sulk. I’m fragile that way.
about 2 years ago
posted on your lj, but I’ll post here, too.
Avoid when you can. When you can’t, just say “If you will excuse me.” and then walk away. That’s it and it works like a charm.
Don’t stand there and smile and nod (which is encouraging) and then be a bitch later hoping your mixed signals get through to them. Waste of your time and theirs.