18 months ago tonight was the last time…

I’ve stopped looking. I certainly don’t expect anything that serendipitous to happen again, nor anything more average either. I’ve been hit on exactly once since then if you don’t count my long-lost friend who lives across the frakking country. I don’t expect anything to happen there either. It’s a nice thought though.

You know what I miss most? I miss skin. I miss naked tactile contact. I was never much of a hugger before but now I am, and I think it’s a sub-conscience substitute for that more intimate contact. I think that might be what I miss most about being married… freedom of touching.

My last little encounter, while pleasant, wasn’t even close to good – fast, fun, and other than it being situationally interesting, forgetful.

So what’s wrong with me? I get out and socialize. I’ve stopped actively hunting and being quite so obvious about my needs. I’m clean and not that fat. Everyone tells me they like me, I have friends, and even the occasional meaningless flirtage. But I can’t seem to connect with anyone. I just don’t get it.

What the hell am I doing wrong?