so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for December, 2009
Vacation: Texas Sucks
Dec 13th
This is gonna run long. I didn’t have internet for more than a few minutes the entire trip and there’s only so much I could do on my DROID.
- Aaaand we’re off! 8:58 AM Dec 2nd
- GirlChild driving now. 300 miles to El Paso.
- Stopping for dinner in Van Horn TX.
Lousy place, Papa’s Pantry. We walked in and though the place was fairly full, nobody on staff even came over towards the door. Do you seat yourself or wait there like idiots? Finally we were waved into a dark corner where the overhead lights didn’t work. Yeah, yeah we should have left, but it’s fucking west Texas and stops are few and far between. Slow unfriendly service, lousy food, unclean bathroom.
- Texas sucks part 3: GirlChild gets us pulled over for speeding. Cop searches all of us and unpacks the car.
This was ridiculous. It was like he was bored or something. There was hardly anyone on the road and he came zipping up behind her when she was passing a truck so she changed lanes without signaling just to get out of his way. So he popped her for that, for going 79 in a 65 and because I didn’t have a light on my license plate – I totally didn’t realize that one. He put Ginnie in his car, Casey off between the cars and had me in front of mine while poor Kira is shrieking in the car in confusion. We were all polite (my kids were raised watching Cops) and he still searched the car and then started pulling everything out of the trunk. And it was frikking COLD out there, snow on the ground and dark as hell. Asshole.
- #texassucks pt 4: After successfully dodging a dozen deer Son runs over some pteradactyl’s dinner.
Too funny, I was dozing and could hear Ginnie and Casey mentioning deer every few minutes when Casey suddenly swerved and hollered “What the FUCK was that?” and Ginnie was howling. He thinks it was a giant owl and I (who didn’t see a thing) expect it was more likely a vulture but either way it was trying to drag something huge across the road and Casey hit whatever the roadkill was. We laughed for hours over that one.
- #texassucks Unfortunate HOV turn dumped us into downtown Houston. Light rail stations look similar to ours.
We couldn’t figure out the HOV thing at all. There needs to be a Just Passing Through lane on interstates. Their HOV on the I-10 had three different acronyms with various tolls and we couldn’t decide if it was OK to use then figured what the heck why not, except at some point it emptied into downtown Houston street level. Thanks to my handy dandy DROID we turned the GPS/Google Navigator and got right back out again.
Hey big city sign people, make sure outsiders can figure out what your signs mean. Here in Phoenix that whole I-10 / I-17 / 51 / airport thing is completely confusing and I LIVE HERE. Especially since you can’t rely on direction as the left of the V actually goes north before it goes west while the right of the V goes west before it takes you north and crosses over the road you should have taken to continue west way back there! Anyway…
- Fuck Texas! We’re outta here!
Here’s where we started Day two.
Be Our Guest!
Dec 13th
Do yourself and your guests a favor. Seriously… do it tonight. Be a guest in your own home. Whatever you provide for guests, that’s all you get.
Where do your overnight guests sleep? Do you put them in your kid’s room, have them suffer the couch or are you lucky enough to have a guest room? You should sleep there for the whole night. Make sure the bed is sleepable. Make sure there’s no strange odor or sound (clocks Mom?) they can’t control. Make sure the light switch is obvious and above all else, make sure the room isn’t infested with fleas (thanks Dad) because you never use it.
Then there’s the bathroom. Use whatever bathroom your guests are using. Can they easily find spare rolls of TP if they’re stuck? Have spiders made a home in those spare rolls because the guest bathroom is seldom entered? Use the shower. All showers have idiosyncrasies, but does yours require a manual for use? Does the shower shoot every direction but down like my Dad’s? Or is the water pressure non-existent, relying completely on gravity like Mom’s?
And another thing, do you keep stuff in your cupboards or fridges in packages originally designed for something else? Like is that old milk jug filled with plain water or moonshine, cuz they seriously look the same. You might want to label your questionables when you’ve new people around.
We all want our guests as comfortable as we can make them. Be your guest tonight so you can catch those problems before your real friends and/or family do.
If I hear one more time “Well, we never go in there” or “I never use that room,” I’m gonna scream. It’s Florida people, nature will take over if you don’t WORK to keep it at bay.
There's a big ugly.
Dec 2nd
There is. A big ugly as we call it, means something ugly happened and we need to talk about it, or deal with it, or bury it in the backyard.
It’s really personal, so if you’re just a random Debbie’s kinda funny reader ya might wanna skip this one.
Ready?
A couple of months ago Ginnie mentioned that Brittany (my niece who lived with us for a couple of her emotional teenage years) told her a big ugly. That Buck had touched her (at least once) inappropriately. That’s about all I got… you know getting information second-hand isn’t something you act upon. My first thought was bullshit, then well… maybe who knows right? Thousands of spouses always say NEVER! So I suggested to Ginnie that she maybe ask her girlfriends in a round-about way if anything he did made them uncomfortable. Other than him just being himself; he always made the kid’s friends nervous.
And then it festered in the back of my mind and I mentioned it to a few close friends.
So… Casey and Kira and Ginnie went to their father’s for Thanksgiving. Apparently the liquor was flowing freely and when Ginnie’s boyfriend Roger went to pick her up TheNewWife kept him busy chatting and then told him to leave, meanwhile Buck kept Ginnie distracted until she was so drunk she passed out.
Then sometime in the middle of the night he crept in and groped her. His own daughter. Complete what the fuckage. She said she pretended to be asleep and kind of moved away and waited a few minutes til he left the room. Then went out and told him she needed to go home RIGHT NOW. He said he was too drunk to drive (which come to find out he was) but she didn’t care and he brought her home.
What the hell happened to the man I married? This person, this THING he is now is so not anything like he was then. I could have never imagined he would act this way. I don’t understand it. FUCK blaming it on the drink. Does the constant drinking just make it easier for him to violate common decency?
So we don’t really know what to do. She’s not going to raise a stink about any of it. She’d rather just never get anywhere near him again than be all confrontational. And with it being all she-said and he’ll-deny…
I know you read just about everything I post, so here’s your head’s up. If I ever see your miserable face again you son of a bitch, I’ll scratch your fucking eyes out. Fuck with my kids again? I’ll pay someone to cut your dick off and feed it to you. I have lots of friends now, someone will know someone. And the moment I have some sort of proof or evidence or something other than her word against yours, your ass is fucked you PRICK! Vengeance is mine sayeth the Mom. I hope you rot in your bottle. All that drinking can’t be doing much for your new wife… that OR your tiny useless dick… but do you have to get your thrills from your own daughter? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Road Trip!
Dec 2nd
Yup, we leave tomorrow morning… er, as I notice the time I should say we leave later this morning. As soon as traffic clears, like 9ish. Casey, Kira, Ginnie and I. Max has decided not to go, which doesn’t surprise me. He’s supposed to be looking at houses later this week.
So I’ve been mostly packed all day, most of the food/drink is taken care of, and I got my new DROID phone today so I don’t need a map anymore. I’m just waiting on everybody else.
This should be fun! No really, we’ve always been a road trip family.
Should be fun.
I’ll check in. Or you can monitor my twitter page for updates.
