Must say that since I’ve switched to my own site instead of just livejournal, I’m not as apt to be as open. Feelings schmeelings. I’ve been reading my LJ from the beginning and though 2/3 of it is useless crap, the rest is a decent history of my trials and tribulations.

There’s a certain point where posting my feelings about certain subjects pissed off a few of my “friends” and shows which people are truly friends and which are just shallow contact-counters. One personal comment about not agreeing with a couple of unnamed friend’s lifestyle choices (which I still maintain I should be allowed to make in my own goddamn journal) blew up into the biggest online battle I’d ever been in. Sides were taken resulting in permanent breaks, and temporary walls happened. But in the long run the people I really consider friends are still around. And the person I commented about has now discovered I was basically right and has apparently forgiven me and is back to being my friend. But I’m still gun-shy about expressing my feelings, even in my personal space. I’d love to be more supportive about what she’s going through now, but you know… once bitten, twice shy.

My readership has expanded by leaps and bounds over time and the chances that a general comment about someone specific won’t ring as many bells as it once would. Who know.

I even have to be more careful about I say about my own family. This used to be where I could let out all my anger and disgust and work out the thought processes before confronting family with a more calm and supportive face. Now I don’t know who is reading, who is reporting and who won’t understand THIS is where I say what’s impolite, what I really feel and can’t say aloud and this helps me to be nicer to their faces.

Now that I’m more social in real life, people tell me that I’m too brutal and snarky, that though I have a lot of new friends who like that I’m honest and blunt… I still put a lot of people off.

You know what? Tough shit. If your feelings are so easily hurt by the fact that I may not like something you do (or you AT ALL) that’s your problem. Fuck eggshells. I have a circle of friends who appreciate me, my family is used to how I am and the rest of you can take me as I am. I’m not curbing my comments anymore.

Fair warning.

Originally published at Spellwight.