You Called Me!

** The following is an approximated and condensed version of the conversation I had with my mother last night, 1 am her time.

Phone rings, my mother’s ring tone.

Me: Hello?

EM: Is Buck there?

Me: Um, no, he’s not available at this number ever again.

EM: Oh, uh, this is his mother-in … er I mean ex-mother-in-law. Do you know where I can reach him?

Me: And this is your daughter if you don’t recognize my voice by now Mom.

EM: Oh shit, you dumbass! What the hell are you doing?

Me: You called me, Mom. And why am I the dumbass? And why are you calling Buck in the middle of the night?

EM: You didn’t call me for Mothers Day so I thought I’d call you.

Me: Bullshit Mom, I talked to you the day before Mother’s Day and you just dialed my number thinking you were calling my EX HUSBAND.

EM: Mumble mumble sleeping pill, how was your Mother’s Day honey?

So I told her how my day went and she moaned about her bad health and Orc’s bad health and the bills and how bankruptcy didn’t help her a lot and how she was up after taking her sleeping pill and making out bills. Blah blah how are all the kids and about Ginnie’s graduation and so forth.

EM: So what did you do for Mother’s Day?

Me: Mom, go to bed. And don’t mail out those bills until you double check them tomorrow.

EM: What, you don’t want to tell me what you did for Mother’s Day?

Me: I already did, which is how I know you really need to go to bed.

I never did find out why she was calling the ex. She always did like him better than me.