I have this on my front door.

Pretty self-explanatory, right? Please don’t knock on my door or ring my bell with your religious paraphernalia.  Seriously, does anybody NOT understand what this means?

Besides the woman who just came to my door, I mean.

Cuz, you know, acknowledging the plaque and yet continuing with your speech might just win me over.  And saying that you “completely understand about those door-to-door preachy types” while holding out a pamphlet with a CROSS on the cover on the off-chance it doesn’t include you?  Simpering that YOU are only handing out invites to a local church while my half-polite smile fades and doesn’t excuse you.

Yes ma’am, this sign applies to you too.  Door slam.

If you don’t want me to be rude to you, don’t cross my line.

Oh wait, is that a twinkling of methodist fervor I feel washing over me?  Nope, just gas.