so don't ask if you don't want to know
You've got to be kidding me.
I was sitting here this morning having (McDonald’s) breakfast with Ginnie and opened Facebook. There among the fish and flower and cause requests was a friend suggestion. About my sister.
My sister who hasn’t spoken to me in years and I don’t know why. My sister tends to slam the door on people who piss her off, without ever actually telling them why. Years ago she called me begging to take her kid because she couldn’t handle her anymore. I did. I had Brittany for a couple of happy years and I did my damndest to not trash her stupid mother for choosing a man over her own daughter. (He’s a complete ass, BTW) Miss B eventually went back to her mother and Beth hasn’t really spoken to me since. When I flew to Florida for my Father’s open-heart surgery, we were all in the same waiting room for 10 hours and she never spoke to me or looked at me. Not even when I asked her point-blank what her problem was. Whatever.
Not that we were ever close. There have been maybe 3 years in our entire lives that we could be considered friends. We fought like badgers growning up and I’ve pretty much scorned every life decision she’s ever made – and there were some doozies. Maybe she just can’t handle my honesty when I think she’s making another mistake. Look in a mirror lady, you don’t need me to point out what you’re doing wrong.
Whatever. It took me a while to figure out it was a “friend suggestion” from my cousin Jackie, rather than Beth actually asking to be friends. I’ll pass, Jackie. If she wants to suddenly be friends, let’s leave that up to her to ask. Which leads me to wonder what Jackie’s up to. Was that click not thought out at all, or does she think a stupid friend request on Facebook will change years of alienation? Hot nardly.
Edited: Cousin Jackie has informed me she didn’t realize how bad the situation was and had only clicked the connection link without really thinking about it, knowing Beth was new to Facebook and wouldn’t know anyone. I’m not and was never pisssed at Jackie.
| Originally published at Spellwight. |
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about 3 years ago
I know how you feel, Debbie.
Most folks aren’t aware that I have 2 sisters. We got on OK when I was little, although they apparently both protested when my Mum said she was hoping to have a third child, (They’re both older than Bob, and we all know there’s a reasonable age difference in our marriage.)I have some fond memories of ‘stuff’ we did when they were teens & I was little, and until I left Wales for OZ we acted mostly like a family, despite them both getting married before we left.
Now that we’re all grown up and SHOULD be capable of acting in a similar form. Problem is not just distance, as they still live in Wales, or even language, as I can still hold my own when I need to. Simply, it’s that the eldest has closed herself off from the world in general & has M.E.(the sleeping disease) & frankly threw a fit when I got it also, to a lesser degree – like I’d stolen her thunder & therefore her neediness. Sister #2 has made some pretty frightening mothering and life decisions which I don’t and can’t agree with, despite this I was willing to at least treat her as an acquaintance, but she’s also become someone I really don’t need or wish to know.
When I took the children back to live for over a year in my home country I saw them a total of zero times, not that I wasn’t willing to try…
I stopped bothering about either of them over formally a decade ago, but it’s been far longer in practice.
The adage about choosing family is so true!
I did as my Mother wished & told them personally when she died, but even getting their fracking phone numbers was a pain, and #1 would only return my call on HER terms, I had to leave mine etc. with her hubby& wait her royal decree to speak on HER terms, despite the news I carried.
Sometimes sisters aren’t prepared to be friends, & I’ve become fine with that. For us, it’s clearly the way it’s supposed to be.
When we’re in Wales I let someone in the family know that I’m around so the news will filter through to them, but the end result is usually a text message that #2 is too busy & I never hear from #1 at all…
C’est la vie!
C xx