max I looked on my dashwire (great free service, BTW – syncs everything on your phone/online) last night and Max hasn’t called me since December 10th.  I’ve left a couple of messages on his MySpace because I can see he’s logged in there recently.  Or his girlfriend Kela has, I dunno if he gave her permissions.  She’s over there too, but not in the same location.  He’s back in Kirkuk and she’s admin for their battalion and is in Tikrit.

I know there are times they are restricted from calling.  I know he can’t always afford a calling card for his cell.  I also know – even though it’s a PITA to wait in line – there are company phones available.  But every time I stop and think about him (like now) I get really worried and tear up.  Yes, even I have a heart.

Last time he was there and didn’t call me for a while it was apparently when he got hurt.  I didn’t know he was hurt until he came home and off-handedly showed me his purple heart like it was no big deal.  Actually, it really wasn’t that time, but the point is he never told me and when I asked him why he said he didn’t want me to freak out.

I don’t freak out when shit happens.  I’m calm as hell when shit happens.  It’s when I’m imagining shit that I freak out.  And after.  When the boys were in that car accident a few years ago, I was calm as hell the whole evening until I got them both safely in my car for the ride home.  Then I fell apart.

Anyway.  My friend Jamie offered her son’s help getting to Max.  He’s some Army muckety-muck and can track him down and make sure he’s okay.  Problem is, the information Max gave me before he left isn’t any good because his orders changed once he got there.  AND he’d be really pissed if his Mommy went over his head and tracked him down and he was fine, just being a thoughtless asshole – which is entirely possible.

Okay, I’m practically sobbing now so I need to put him out of my mind.  Just thought some of you would like an update and now you can stop asking and making me worry more.

PS. Aranel? Do you still have that casualty link you gave me last time? I don’t have it on my new laptop.