Your child turns 18 and what do you do? Maybe a party, maybe not. At least a dinner celebration? A gift or two? 18 is a pretty big deal, right?

I gave Ginnie my ring that I’ve had forever. My ring to her – meaningful.
I bought her the t-shirt she really wanted so she’d have at least one present to unwrap.
I paid for and went with her for her first tattoo. Again, what she really wanted.

She wanted to have a meal with her father. She wanted to spend time with him on her birthday. Was he available? No. “Work” and then some other reason (blamed on me) that he couldn’t take the time. He hasn’t bothered to call her since. In today’s mail was a birthday card and $20.

She’s crushed. Not so much about the $20, but because a card pretty much shows her what she means to him.

She told me yesterday that she’s afraid to call him because all he does is bitch about me. You know, he took the same so-called parenting class I did before we divorced. #1 RULE IS DON’T INVOLVE THE KIDS IN YOUR ISSUES!

I can’t believe I spent most of my adult life with this man. If he doesn’t reach out to these kids pretty soon (and do it without trashing me) he’s going to lose them. I don’t think Max gives a damn any more, Casey and Ginnie mostly avoid calling him because of how he talks about me . . . and can’t just get over it all. He’s got a woman living with him! How does SHE put up with this hate and anger?

All I can say to Ginnie is that I love her and someday he’ll be sorry he treated the kids this way. It’s all his choice. I’m not doing anything to make matters worse (though I seem to get blamed for everything anyway) and I’m certainly not going to do anything to help him out. He’s sinking all on his own.