I did peruse the first page on Google (Google is a bitch post for another day) and didn’t find my answers. Are automatic toilet flushers battery operated or tapped into the power lines?

I HATE AUTOMATIC TOILETS! And automatic faucets, automatic soap dispensers, and automatic paper towel dispensers, etc. Why? Because they usually don’t work the way they were intended to work.

I understand that people don’t want to touch anything in the bathroom because chances are the person in front of you had hepatitis or the bubonic plague or was just plain nasty. I get that. But there’s gotta be another way. I know there are people that think automatic flushers save water. I don’t agree. More than once I’ve been alone in a public bathroom and heard toilets flushing by themselves.

I hate when there’s stuff left in the bowl from the last guest and there’s no way to set off the flusher. I hate when you’re sitting there finishing your business and lean forward to clean yourself and the flusher activates before you’re ready. I hate when the flusher activates when you’re sitting still! I hate when your flush doesn’t get it all and you want to be a decent human being and re-flush and there’s no way to do it. I hate standing at the sink waving my hands at different angles and speeds wondering what the magic combination is to get the water to turn on. I hate when the soap dispenser piddles out some tiny amount of the nastiest slimiest “soap” that doesn’t rinse off without 5 gallons of water – and then you can’t get the water to turn back ON. And I won’t even go into the stupid paper towel machines. Y’all have been there.

AAaaaAAAaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhh!

I want disposable paper gloves you get at the door, stall locks that actually lock, toilets with foot pedals that you can flush at will, feminine hygiene containers that work like diaper genies,

faucets with a single lever handle, unscented soap, stacks of paper towels, and an empty trash can at the door.

Don’t we all?