I think I mentioned that I went to my Doctor last week. While I was chatting him up, I mentioned two specific reasons for the appointment. Besides the annual “please renew my prescriptions so I don’t suffocate” reason.

1. Is there something that I can take for temporary issues with what I self-diagnose as RLS on planes. I don’t have problems any other time. He suggested leg massages and walking during flights. Gee thanks.

2. Can I get something mild to help me sleep. Because most of my asthma-related medications are stimulants I seldom sleep through the night and what sleep I do get isn’t really solid. I just want an occasional knock me out and let me catch up on sleep night. Not all the time, I don’t want to be oblivious!

Blah blah blah and my medications are sent in the mail – arrived today. And I’m reading through the enclosed literature on the new thing (cuz iddn’t that whatcher pussosta do?) and what?

Trazodone
Generic Name: trazodone (TRAZ oh done)
Brand Names: Desyrel
Trazodone is used to treat depression. Antidepressant medications are used to treat a variety of conditions, including depression and other mental/mood disorders. These medications can help prevent suicidal thoughts/attempts and provide other important benefits.

Who’s depressed? Hey, I’m about 85% happy. SUICIDAL! WTF!

Aha! On page 2, fine print:

Other Uses: This drug is used to help people with trouble sleeping (insomnia) to fall asleep. It is also used to help people with anxiety to relax.

Well alrighty then. Way to freak me out with that shit. Eek, another tiny comment:

Priapism (including clitoral priapism in women), a painful condition in which the penis (or clitoris) remains in an erect position for a prolonged period, has been reported in patients receiving trazodone.

So I can be a slightly horny insomniac or I can be well-rested with a hard-on?