so don't ask if you don't want to know
Archive for June, 2008
I'm officially caught up.
Jun 30th
As of this very moment, my car payments are caught up! I’m no longer behind!
Woot! And in celebration I took it to the car wash.
Now I can try and trade this fucker in for something that isn’t falling apart. I still owe probably twice what it’s worth, but at least I’m caught up.
Farpoint (Fool Party) Recap
Jun 29th
THAT was so much fun.
Got to hang with old friends and meet new friends and generally have a really great time.
Swimming off and on, live feed all day and the occasional show recording between. I remembered all my gifts: for Eliza (little bottle of Hawaii and a hair decoration/comb) and Lorri (a different hair adornment) and the Mehana Pale Ale and Volcano Red Ale for Mike. I made two Jello-Cool Whip-Oreo pies that were a hit and tried a couple of new things.
Friends from Australia (Enormous) Steve and his wife Emily were there. We’ll have to come up with a new name for Enormous (which was actually supposed to be Anonymous but we couldn’t understand that with his accent) cuz he’s lost sooo much weight! He looks so much healthier. I love Emily.
Eric from Sydney brought me a cute little kangaroo fur change purse. Both he and Steve are trying to get new jobs in the US. I’m half expecting the new wave of illegal immigrants to be Australian.
Old friends Yooper and Yayoie (I have no idea if that’s how her name is spelled) and Doug and Marsha (who I keep wanting to call Mary) and Rhettro and his wife (and OMG I thought *I* was raunchy – I’ll blurb about her later) and CASizemore, and Jack Mangan, and Eliza and her BFF Robin (and Mr. Eliza showed up for a little while) and all the other usual suspect.
New friends Michael M-something (ClockworkOrange in the IRC) is cute cute and way interesting besides. Another fella I kept reminding to put on a name tag and he refused, only I find out later he’s Jeffrey and semi-famous (Tosh on Babylon 5 which I never watched) and I suppose I should have known that by osmosis.
I can’t remember everyone! My bad.
Disaster!
Jun 28th
For me anyway.
Woke this morning as usual, rolled over and pushed the little blue button on my computer to turn it on and nothing. No blue light, no whirring fan, nothing. I checked all the connections (as if anything could mysteriously come unplugged overnight) and it appears fine. There’s even a tiny yellow light blinking on the back so I’m pretty sure it’s receiving power. Unless that’s the self-destruct in which case … syanara.
Shit.
Good thing I have this handy-dandy phone.
Should I lug this thing up to the studio and see if one of those guys (Tim) will look at it before they all get too drunk?
Today is the Farpoint Fool Party at which we all commiserate with each other over the passing of an old friend, Wingin’ It.
Gonna be a long day.
Grrr perfume
Jun 25th
I bought this pretty carved fan at that swap meet in Oahu and finally opened the plastic covering today to use it. It is sooooo heavily perfumed it stank up my whole living room before I could take it outside. And it’s been out there in the blazing sun for HOURS and I stepped outside to check the mail and it STILL reeks! WTF!
And while I’m bitching, what’s with games? EVERY stupid game I download from any site automatically loads with the music at FULL VOLUME! I listen to podcasts while I play and miss like, 3-4 minutes waiting for the stupid games to load and get to the options part to mute/kill the sound.
And OH YEAH, as I said on twitter earlier today: Memo to business owners: Addresses should be visible from the street and hours should be visible from the curb out front. It’s toooooo frakking hot to get out of my nice cool car, let all the A/C out only to find out you’re not open til 9, 10, or next week. And what’s with not being open earlier? Customers I want to get out early in the morning before it gets really hot and I DON’T COME BACK LATER if you’re closed. Someone else gets my money.
Whew, I feel better now.
Carry on.
Today's Dilemma
Jun 24th
As I’m squirting dish soap on my sponge to wash the few dishes stacked up in my sink I notice the corpsefied remains of an ant IN the bottle. What follows here is an estimation of my thought process.
I know the label says Lemon but it’s not really FOOD.
Ewwww. This is really gross.
How did you get in there climbing over all that gunk at the top of the squirter?
Determined little fuck ain’t ya?
Shit, how much does one little decaying ant fuck up one’s dish soap?
Only about a half a cup left. Should I throw it out?
How long have you been in there little fella?
Shit, could have been in there since I opened the damned bottle. Fuck.
Are all the dishes contaminated?
We ain’t dead yet.
Wonder if I have any more dish soap?
(Opening the dishwasher where I store all the not-for-Kira crap)
Hmm, no but I have dishwasher soap.
Should I empty all the crap out of my dishwasher and run every fucking dish in the house through it? I don’t know if the stupid thing even works! Brand new, never been used.
Or should I just pretend I didn’t see him/her?
Crap, I don’t know why I ask. I know as soon as my kid/car gets home I’m headed up to get more dish soap and will wash every dish in this house.
Normal?
Jun 24th
I think I’m back to what passes for normal. Amazing what a crappy night’s sleep can do for me. Seriously, when I sleep like a rock I wake up moody and miserable. When I toss and turn all night with fantastic bizarre dreams I wake up chipper and ready to go.
I’ve always been a little bass-ackwards.
I added a new blog to my reader. Attack of the Redneck Mommy. She’s funny. Not up to par with Boobs, Injuries, & Dr. Pepper, but still way funnier than me.
She calls her kids (online, I haven’t read back far enough to know if it carries over into real life) fric and frac.
I use my kids’ real names online and use their nicknames in real life. When they were little they were Bernard, Toady and Berneitha. I still call them that sometimes.
Casey started off as Beanie, because of the little winter beanie he wore as an infant. That morphed into Bernie, then Bernard as he got older. Max is Toadwart, the littlest ogre from Gummi Bears. (And now I’m Grammi.) He was always the scrappy smallest boy in his classes growing up, until he spurted to his current 6’4″ virtually overnight between Jr. and Sr. High. And I have no idea where Ginnie’s name came from. She’s just always been Berneitha Barfnagle.
I didn’t have a nickname growing up. My Dad called me peanut sometimes, until I heard him call his new girlfriend’s daughter that and it broke my heart. I told him never to call me that again. The kids at school had a few names for me, the most popular being Burty-turd. My maiden name is Burt.
Ugh.
I caught up on all my DVR backlog yesterday. The Agatha Christie episode of Dr. Who was cute, but the following one, the first part of Silence in the Library was frakking creepy! Followed that with the Top Chef finale and then the extra talk-about-it show. Throw in a couple of The Soup episodes and the disappointment of finding my Grey’s Anatomy labeled spots were really the news and a game show.
After that I switched to netflix stuff and watched 27 Dresses. Cute movie, went exactly as I expected and it was not a waste of rental funds.
Okay, that’s enough for now. I’m practically gushing with cheer. It’s freaking me out.
Lonely Day
Jun 23rd
I could tell from the minute I woke up
It was going to be a lonely lonely
lonely lonely day.
Rise and shine rub the sleep out of my eyes
And try to tell myself I can’t
go back to bed
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
Even though the sun is shining down on me and I should feel about as happy as can be
I just got here and I already want to leave
It’s gonna be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day
Everybody knows that something’s wrong
But nobody knows what’s going on
We all sing the same old song
When you want it all to go away
It’s shaping up to be a lonely day
I could tell from the minute I woke up it was going to be a lonely lonely lonely lonely day.
I seem to wear happiness like an ill-fitting cloak. I’m covered when I’m around people, but it slips away when I’m alone, and I’m alone far too much. You’d think a vacation in Hawaii would have cheered me up. Even there I had lonely times.
I don’t know what to do.
To go out and “meet people” cost money, money I don’t have. Every penny I can scrounge is used on what little I let myself do. And it’s not all about the money. Going out by myself makes me feel twice as lonely as sitting home. I’m wallowing here.
I’m not one to believe in all this mental illness crap. Oh sure, there are some people who have real mental issues but I think there’s this whole trend/clique/scapegoat/crutch thing going on where everyone’s on Prozac or Lithium or whatever. Fucking people need to suck it up and gain control over themselves. It’s called personal responsibility.
Like I need to gain control over this depression. Not Depression with a capital D or anything. I’m not cutting (yuck) or drinking alone (boring) or using any other inappropriate behavior. I’m just stuck in feeling-sorry-for-myself-town and I’m too lazy to move.
I need a knight in shining armor. Hell, at this point an evil wizard would be nice. How about a couple of ladies in waiting to keep me company?
